mommy underground (mu), the bimonthly newsletter with the balls (err, should we say tits?) to give you motherhood in the real. No fluff. No superficial expectations. Just raw truths to demystify what motherhood entails. Expect humor, snark, and a little groveling.

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  mu: volume 2 :: issue 1 :: Trusting the Babysitter Won't Kill the Kid(s) For the first six months of my son's life, I didn't want to trust a soul with my child. Even my poor, poor husband had to battle my eye twitches as I walked out the door to take hour off for grocery shopping or [gasp] a hair cut. But I soon learned this was not the way to live normally.

Our kids are the love of our lives, we want to protect them, love them, hold them, and just generally keep them out of harms way right? Well, what about our sanity? Don't we need an hour out of a week (or month or three in my case) where we don't feel like mothers or parents? If you are hesitant to answer, I'll answer for you--YES. You deserve it. And guess what? It won't kill you or your kids.

Yes, it is hard. Yes, you hear them crying in your head while trying to enjoy a movie or dinner alone. Yes, you resist the constant urge to call home to quadruple check that the kid did indeed eat or take a nap or have a bowel movement. All of this--normal. Completely normal with at least the first kid.

But at some point you have to cut yourself some slack. And when you do, it could be fabulous. I mean, look at my son I mama's-boy-to-the-point-of-screaming-his-head-off-if-I-ever-left-the-room. Now, after having spent his days with friends and at *school*? Well, let's just say my heart breaks into a million little pieces when he runs off, blows kisses my direction, and then plays. Without a second glance at me, standing in the doorway, waving.

The upside of this heart crushing--when I really need the time away, the guilt is gone. I can trust that he is getting the care he needs without the stress of crying for me for hours. And I can actually enjoy myself when I am out and about childless. Do I recommend finding a sitter (or daycare center or nanny or whatever) with care? Of course. And then do your best to let it go. And have fun, childless, for a few hours. You'll be home and in full mother mode before you know it.  ¶ 10:28 AM