THE 30-SECOND COMMUTE by Stephanie Dickison

Monday, August 03, 2009 by Bethany

I didn't intend to write a book review today. Hell, The Husband just finished his first half marathon this past weekend and it was one of the most touching moments of my life when we finally were able to touch one another after the race that he pulled me to him, near weeping, and gave me this heart felt hug. All choked up, he was just thrilled that I'd pulled myself and the kids to see him at the 2-mile mark and then made our way through the crowds to the finish line. And WE cheered him on. And WE were there for him, for this big event.

It felt like it was just us standing there in Grant Park with the world swirling around us. I was so proud of him. Of us as a family unit. And my heart burst. But that's another post.... because, I'm compelled to tell you about this book.

Last week, I'd just finished a novel I was reading, wanted something quick, smooth, and easy reading. I was sick for God Sakes (yes, puking sick) and just wanted something easy to digest. Literally and figuratively. So, being sent THE 30-SECOND COMMUTE by Stephanie Dickison a while back (as in MONTHS AGO. In February. And I am just now getting to it).

Can I just say: I. LOVED. THIS. BOOK. It so took me by surprise. Not that I had any expectations except for the quick, smooth, easy thing (which it was). But I didn't expect to be inspired by it. I mean, really. I've read every 'How to Write a Book' Book out there. And even the ole WRITING DOWN THE BONES by Natalie Goldberg (it's an oldie but goodie). But this one, had me wanting to read a chapter, open my laptop and push through all those negative thoughts and keep working on my current work in progress. So some day soon, I could join Stephanie as a writer working for myself.

30-SECOND COMMUTE is not all about writing exercises, routines, finding work as a writer, or how you too can make a living as a freelance writer. Nope. It's a memoir. Just a book about being a writer. And it's ENTERTAINING. Seriously. Stephanie had me laughing out loud. Giggling in the midst of my sickness. And just all about shaking my head in agreement. But the best part about the book really is Stephanie's voice. Somewhere deep in the prose she says that she just wanted to write things that people read. And write them in the way she speaks. And girl... you do. Hell, if you didn't live in Canada and me here in Southeastern Wisconsin, I'd come find you for coffee.

She's fun. Hilarious. Honest. And it feels like she's sitting right next to you talking about life. The best parts about being a writer and how she handles work (she's a Type A like me, so it is heartening to know I am not the only one that will hunch over the keyboard for hours at a time), gets caught up in finding the next project, and well just about everything in between. I literally tore through the book in one night, then opened my laptop and started pounding out my own prose. I mean, the one thing Stephanie was clear about, is you have to write to WRITE. And for whatever reason--her voice, her experiences, her honesty, had me wanting to be just like her.

So, if you're a writer--non-fiction or fiction, pick this book up. It's an open door to the writers world. And it's gloriously honest and funny. It's totally for those days when I don't want to haul my large ass to the desk to write myself. I can pick it up, give any one chapter a quick read and remember why I want to write... thanks Stephanie! You, my girl, ROCK.

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WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? by Alyse Myers

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 by Bethany

Today, I should have been working. Yup. Should have been a normal (busier than humanly possible) 9-to-5 work day full of conference calls, meetings, deadlines, and emails. But I called in sick. The Cold That Just Won't Go Away was still here, and I just needed another day to decompress (have been out of the office since Friday for wedding fun and travel). So instead I sat down with a book or two. And what found it's way into my hands today, but Alyse Myers' Who Do You Think You Are?

It's a lovely memoir about mothers and daughters, relationships, growing up and everything in between. And my in between, I mean all the complications of having a mother.

We all have them but sometimes--especially when we are say 15 and think we own the world--you just don't get along. In my case, the "not getting along" was because I was a teenager, naive and really, just was ready to go out on my own into the world. It's all normal. And hormonal and all that stuff. And even today, mom and I--don't always see eye-to-eye and that's what a so-called normal relationship is all about. But after having a daughter of my own, well I understand even more how hard it is to mother... and that is a whole new perspective (and let me tell you, there are more days than one I wonder if I am going to screw her up too. We women, so emotional on both sides--mother OR daughter).

And this is what this book is all about--Alyse growing up, dealing with death, dealing with siblings, dealing with her mother. But she had other variables in her life to overcome than I. Mine were just high school, boys, and life with a curfew. Her home live was not the best circumstances--not so much money, life with parents that loved each other but only knew how to fight, a bit of drugs, infidelity. But through it all, she loved both her parents dearly. Tenderly. And always did what she thought was best. Even in tough times.

The book is honest in ways that let you really see what it was like growing up for Alyse. And then how she is looking back now and understanding it all. You feel her hurt, pain, and all the in-between of what it was like growing up with her mom. And her dad. And her 2 younger sisters. How she wanted and strived for more. And then realized, well, that her mom was doing all she could. Flawed and all.

It's well written. Poetic. And a true testament to the love she felt for her mom. Bittersweet in ways that it brings Alyse and her own daughter together in ways she likely never imagined (but desired nonetheless). Great book for mothers day or just a read on a lazy weekend afternoon (or say an extra day off of work). As it gives one a sense of hope and love.

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Worry Wart Challenge (Double-Daring Book for Girls Shower)

Thursday, May 14, 2009 by Bethany

All right ladies and gents, it's time for a challenge. A goodness challenge.

Andy Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz have written a lovely new book--THE DOUBLE-DARING BOOK FOR GIRLS--which is a follow up to the first book (which I reviewed here). It's a wonderful book full of information, games, tricks, and loads of things about being a girl. A daring girl to be exact. You can learn a ton of card games, how to win at Scrabble, how to catch a fish, run away and join the circus... but well, buy the book to figure all that stuff out. I'm here for a throw down!

And all of us share a friend named Melissa. And she is throwing them a book shower. What's that you ask? Well who really knows--because can't it be anything we want? Sure can. So we decided to challenge our readers to one of the goodness items in the book. I picked the item on page 167--Worry Dolls.

Ahh, the land of worry. I never thought of myself as a worry wart. But maybe that was because all I ever really wanted was to be fancy foot and carefree. I'm an eldest child, NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. And then I became a parent which forever takes away the carefree days of anything. Thus, why I picked this Worry Doll Challenge.

What is a worry doll? From my friends at Wikipedia they are (and of course all this info is in the book too):

Worry dolls (Spanish: Muñecas quitapenas, "Dolls [that] remove worries"), or trouble dolls, are very small and colorful dolls traditionally made in Guatemala. A person (usually a child) who cannot sleep due to worrying can express their worries to a doll and place it under their pillow before going to sleep.

According to folklore, the doll is thought to worry in the person's place, thereby permitting the person to sleep peacefully. The person will wake up without their worries, which have been taken away by the dolls during the night. Parents may remove the doll during the night, reinforcing the child's belief that the worry is gone...


Now, I know, I know it is all around children above, but I don't give a damn about that. Because reality is, I lose many hours of sleep due to worry and I know many other ADULTS that do too, so here's the details, my dear readers:

I challenge you to choose 6 of your favorite friends or family, and cut them a little slack--make them a Worry Doll so they can shed those worries good-bye. Normally with the folklore thing, you make them in groups of 6--but I've made it easy. Make 6, give 6. And you should be golden. I figure if you spread the worry-less karma around, maybe you (the giver) will also reap benefits.

My dolls are going out by the end of the month--so friends and family members--START watching for them! Now it's your turn--weigh in, tell me who you sent your worry dolls to and why, or beat my score and tell me how many dolls you made, who you sent to, why, and well join in the challenge.

p.s. I really want you to buy the book and all the cool stuff it tells you what to do (it is great if you have a son or daughter, I mean--hello--EVERYONE want to learn how to make a lava lamp right?), but I also want you to make Worry Dolls for friends and family and join the challenge. So, here's some online instructions on how to make them. You know, so you can join in. Let's see if we get the most participants!

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BOOK REVIEW: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not by Trish Ryan

Wednesday, May 06, 2009 by Bethany

First let me say, I've had Trish Ryan's HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT on my bedside to be read table forever (the hardcover version actually). It's been there for about a year. And I'm feeling pretty crummy about it. Sorry Trish! Especially since I had personally asked Trish to read and review the book. Sigh. Personal Failure Alert.

Anyway, let me get into the reasons why I wanted to review the book--and then why, now ready to write something about it, was having a bit of trouble. Don't let that statement trick you, the book is well written and entertaining. Trish, being that is a memoir, was honest and truthful and so sweet I just kept reading even though--the idea of being born again Christian was tripping me up--I kept reading. And reading until the very end. So let me start at the beginning.

I'm not very spiritual. In fact, church is only something I attend for weddings, funerals, baptisms, christenings, maybe a holiday here and there, but really for nothing else. Am I anti-religion? Not really. In fact, I believe in some sort of higher being. And honestly, that's been enough for me for years.

Long story of my childhood in short is: we didn't go to church much then either. My father went all the time as a child and even went to a Catholic school through is younger years. And from that, he decided, we wouldn't need to. And hey, Sunday mornings were never more fun for us! We didn't have to get up early and attend anything in dress up clothes! My Mom was okay with that too--but did spend some time teaching us the Bible basics. Basically the who's who of the important characters, brought us to holiday festivities at the local church, and let us tag along with Grandma and Grandpa when they attended every Saturday night. It was an easy existence, really. And one I never questioned. Even when all the other kids in the neighborhood went off to church and something called Sunday School (sounded brutal to me).

Fast forward a good 20-some years and here we are today. That sort of upbringing didn't haunt me, didn't allow me to make too many bad choices, and I am living a pretty normal life if I say so myself. I've thought about religion. I've had friends and dates and all that stuff with people that were highly spiritual to those that could have given a shit less.

What does all of this have to do with the book? Well, it's about becoming "one with Jesus." For Trish anyway. And as much as the book is about her, she sorta challenges us (the reader) that maybe it might be right for us. Which for me, really not so much. And as much as I loved the beginning of the book, found myself skimming later chapters that were going on and on about how praying with her boyfriend was just the most wonderful thing ever. Because for me, that just went over the top. For. Me.

I wanted to read the book since we shared an agent, she was a first time author, and I've seen her in some writing circles. Overall, it was a writer to writer thing--and having shared personal details of my life here on this blog (and in a possible book someday), I wanted to see how it was done. WITH a touchy subject for some.

So, in a nut shell, here's the skinny: beginning of the book was SO RELATABLE, so real and so fun I just kept reading. Cheering Trish on to find love and happiness, and crying with her when she shares the not-so-good relationships she had. It was an honest look and life, love, and her search for spirituality. She brought us along for the ride she had looking into fueng shui, alternative/new age healing, astrology... and well everything in between. I'd compare it to a cliff-note trip of my own--peaking into all those communities without having to try it for myself. And in fact, we do the same with her love life (the book does have another plot. The husband angle. She's looking for one, wants one desperately, etc). We glimpse in, take part, and really enjoy the ride while Trish remains open and honest--even about the dirt.

And even when she begins exploring Christianity, the writing and Trish's voice kept me captivated. She talked a lot about her doubts and uncertainty. All of which, being in her situation or wanting to "try something new" I would feel the same way. It was all relateable, fun, and easily readable.

But she keeps going down the path... and well, this is where my mind wandered. Everything was going so well. And weirdly well. And all the praying. And well, I kept reading because in the end I like a good love story, I had to be sure she found a man. BUT, I will caution you, it is riddled with Jesus and praying (so much praying I wonder how there is time for normal conversation) and just a world that maybe I am so far removed from I will never get. Trish never loses her voice, even tells us that she is uncertain herself... which helped. But in the end, it just went a bit too far--again--FOR ME. The writing was superb and I love that Trish went out on a limb and wrote the book. It's an insider look into her life, and into a part of religion I'm not so sure I will ever get.

Trish--thanks for the read. I know it is a year late. Sorry, and please forgive me. But girl, you keep writing. Love your voice and writing. I might not be ready to go to church any more today than I was before reading, but the book at least gave me a glimpse into your life, which is what a memoir is intended to do.

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GUEST BLOG POST: The Call by Karen White (author of THE LOST HOURS)

Thursday, April 30, 2009 by Bethany

Since I've been so sporadic in MY posting as of late, decided to call in some reinforcements. Or I should say some reinforcements found me. A fellow writer. Kathy White has a new book out and she wanted some action on the blogs. I am a kind writer and obliged--especially because I'd love to read her book myself (adding it to my Amazon Wishlist right now!). And I just love her story about getting "the call." For those not in the writing world, this is when your agent calls (or and editor) and you get a book deal. And it's an ever-waited moment (I am still awaiting my own CALL). So, without further ado, read Kathy's story below.....

GUEST BLOG POST: The Call


In mid-December, 2003 I finally received the call from my agent that I’d pretty much given up hope ever getting. She left a message on my answering machine saying that she had a two-book offer on the table from my dream publisher, Penguin Publishing Group.

I stood listening to the message about a dozen times, holding heavy bags of groceries, wanting to believe in her sincerity while the whole time picturing my long-suffering husband standing behind her while she made the phone call with a weapon pointed at her head.

Let’s back up three years to explain how I got to that point. Granted, it wasn’t technically my ‘first sale’—but for me, it was the first sale that counted. Most people who know me know my story—how I entered the first book I ever wrote into a contest and it ended up not only winning, but also garnering the attention of a literary agent who offered to represent me. My first sales were to two small publishers. At the time, I would have worked for free (and I just about did!) for the privilege of being published. My advances were small, my print runs and distribution even smaller. Still I was grateful, and pumped out four award-winning books of which I’m still very proud.

I was at least climbing the ladder of success, although my paltry print-runs and publisher non-support kept me firmly planted on the bottom rung. I felt as if I were going to the prom. Sure, my date was the dorky boy with pimples, but at least I was going!

And then even my foothold on that bottom rung was shaken loose and I crashed to the floor. My publisher dropped me, stripping me of confidence and pride. I couldn't sell a book for 2 ½ years. Even the dorky boy didn't want to take me to the prom anymore. I was humiliated, devastated and heartbroken. It no longer mattered to me that I’d published four really great books (as friends and family kept reminding me). At the time, all I could do was point out Tom Petty's song, Even the Losers (Get Lucky Sometimes).

I was inconsolable. St. Jude, the patron saint of hopeless cases, became my close companion and we'd talk every day. I even thought seriously about making voodoo dolls of certain New York publishing personnel and holding them over hot flames.

I gave myself until December 31st of 2003. If I hadn’t sold another book by then, I was hanging up my word processor. I simply couldn’t bang my head against the wall any longer. On the day I received the call from my agent, my husband was on a business trip in New York . Before he’d left, he asked, “Is there anything I can get you while I’m there?” My despondent answer, “A contract.”


ALL ABOUT KAREN (from her PR Goddess Dorothy)

They had her at hello. From her first moments in Charleston and Savannah, and on the South Carolina and Georgia coasts, novelist Karen While was in love. Was it the history, the architecture, the sound of the sea, the light, the traditions, the people, the lore? Check all of the above. Add Karen’s storytelling talent, her endless curiosity about relationships and emotions, and her sensitivity to the rhythms of the south, and it seems inevitable that this mix of passions would find its way into her work.

Known for award winning novels such as Learning to Breathe, the recently announced Southern Independent Bookseller Association’s 2009 Book of the Year Award nomination for The House on Tradd Street, and for the highly praised The Memory of Water, Karen has already shared the coastal Lowcountry and Charleston with readers. Spanning eighty years, Karen’s new book, THE LOST HOURS, now takes them to Savannah and its environs. There a shared scrapbook and a necklace of charms unleash buried memories, opening the door to the secret lives of three women, their experiences, and the friendships that remain entwined even beyond the grave, and whose grandchildren are determined to solve the mysteries of their past.

Karen, so often inspired in her writing by architecture and history, has set much of THE LOST HOURS at Asphodel Meadows, a home and property inspired by the English Regency styled house at Hermitage Plantation along the Savannah River, and at her protagonist’s “Savannah gray brick” home in Monterey Square, one of the twenty-one squares that still exist in the city.
Italian and French by ancestry, a southerner and a storyteller by birth, Karen has lived in many different places. Born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, she has also lived in Texas, New Jersey, Louisiana, Georgia, Venezuela and England, where she attended the American School in London. She returned to the states for college and graduated from New Orleans’ Tulane University. Hailing from a family with roots firmly set in Mississippi (the Delta and Biloxi), Karen notes that “searching for home brings me to the south again and again.”

Always, Karen credits her maternal grandmother Grace Bianca, to whom she’s dedicated THE LOST HOURS, with inspiring and teaching her through the stories she shared for so many years. Karen also notes the amount of time she spent listening as adults visited in her grandmother’s Mississippi kitchen, telling stories and gossiping while she played under the table. She says it started her on the road to telling her own tales. The deal was sealed in the seventh grade when she skipped school and read Gone With The Wind. She knew—just knew—she was destined to grow up to be either Scarlet O’Hara or a writer.

Karen’s work has appeared on the South East Independent Booksellers best sellers list. Her novel The Memory of Water, was WXIA-TV’s Atlanta & Company Book Club Selection. Her work has been reviewed in Southern Living, Atlanta Magazine and by Fresh Fiction, among many others, and has been adopted by numerous independent booksellers for book club recommendations and as featured titles in their stores. This past year her 2007 novel Learning to Breathe received several honors, notably the National Readers’ Choice Award.

In addition to THE LOST HOURS, Karen White’s books include The House on Tradd Street, The Memory of Water, Learning to Breathe, Pieces of the Heart and The Color of Light. She lives in the Atlanta metro area with her family where she is putting the finishing touches on her next novel The Girl on Legare Street.

You can visit Karen White's website at www.karen-white.com.

ALL ABOUT THE LOST HOURS

Now a near fatal riding accident has shattered Piper’s dreams of Olympic glory. After her grandfather’s death, she inherits the house and all its secrets, including a key to a room that doesn’t exist—or does it? And after her grandmother is sent away to a nursing home, she remembers the box buried in the backyard. In it are torn pages from a scrapbook, a charm necklace—and a newspaper article from 1929 about the body of an infant found floating in the Savannah River. The necklace’s charms tell the story of three friends during the 1920s— each charm added during the three months each friend had the necklace and recorded her life in the scrapbook. Piper always dismissed her grandmother as not having had a story to tell. And now, too late, Piper finds she might have been wrong.

If you're interested, you can find it here.

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THE SPARE WIFE by Alex Witchel*

Monday, April 20, 2009 by Bethany

Some get into reality TV. Me? I just love a good book with some dishing, dirt, and a life FAR, FAR from anything close to my reality. THE SPARE WIFE by Alex Witchel? Well, it's the farthest thing from my day-to-day life as possible, and it has some dirt. So it had me at hello. Or "Jacqueline Posner stood at the edge of her dining room and aimed a blow-dryer at the center of a pale peach rose." Mostly because roses in my house are few and far between. A peach one--even farther!

Anyway, the books about high society New York city. Women who have worked their way to that position via marriage, others who worked their asses off and then the ones who just wish they were there. All revolving around "The Spare Wife," Ponce Morris. She hangs with the boys and the girls in the marriage and everyone is happy. She's been around the block, seen it all, married for money, and then went to law school and divorced (there is a whole slew more to that back story that's equally interesting but read the book to get the details). The woman is a straight shooting hard ass. Well until you find out she's having an affair with one of the richest and notable in town.

But what makes it so dishy is that it's all secret until an underling at the one of the city's entertainment magazines catches her. Well, this is when it gets interesting (to me anyway). It's all about scandal and an expose and things that make us realize that even if you're rich, life ain't perfect. For Anyone.

So really dig into this witty, satirical book about life in the upper class in the Big Apple. For me, it gave me a glimpse into the other side of the life of the rich and famous in the city. As much as it is dishy and like living the life of a fly on the wall to a life I will never have--it's also a big slap in the face to the Desperate Housewives television. This has more meat and definitely a better statement on that type of life.

Dig in. Enjoy. And I promise to write something NON-book related in the next few days as I dive back into my working mom reality bright and early tomorrow morning.

* Yup, another Mothertalk sponsored post. Which means they sent me the book. I read, I like, I post. Simple as that.

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MOJO MOM: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family by Amy Tiemann, PH.D.*

Sunday, April 19, 2009 by Bethany

So, I've been absent. Sue me. I went on a long weekend getaway with my husband and left the kids with Grandma so I could pretend to be 21-years-old again. I'm paying for it now, with some deep exhaustion. And having to go back to work sooner rather than later. But man... having those 2 nights without the kids? GLORIOUS. Haven't had that kind of kid-free time, in about 5 years. And I'm not kidding. We've only ever spent 2 other nights away from children, when my son was about 2. We were due. And a fun time were had. Which sorta leads to this book review (you'll have another one coming tomorrow too. Bear with me, I told you I was behind), MOJO MOM: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family by Amy Tiemann, PH.D.

Like the title suggests, it's about getting your groove back after kids. But not the sex groove so much (but that is included!), it's about finding yourself after you rip open your insides and give birth to this thing called a child. And you have no idea what the hell just happened, what you do with it, and then how you try to balance it all in day to day life while still remaining a woman--outside of the family and husband department.

I wish I had this book after my son was born. I was a bit of a mess. I was trying to work, be a mom, a wife, and well everything in between. We didn't live near family and I didn't have a babysitter. And hell--I was told growing up I could do it all. So why not do it now? I'd managed to find myself living outside of Chicago, with a new house, cars, and was managing a career to the point that I worked regularly out of my home in my pajamas. Who could ask for more? Well, I did. I wanted a baby. But what I didn't count on was the fact that--THAT BABY--would change everything.

Sure, sure. You hear it will change it all and that you will never the be the same. But trust me, until you have that baby in whatever means you have it... it doesn't make a lick of difference until you are looking at yourself in the mirror one morning and realize you have dark circles under your eyes permanently. And that worry you feel in your gut? Won't go away until the kid can take care of him/herself forever. Which means--that worry will never go away. But I am off on a tangent here....

MOJO MOM is just an honest look at motherhood. About the identity change every mom goes through. Some as quickly as a few hours (God bless them) and others where it takes years to figure out where you are and WHO you are now that you are a mother. I loved the book in that Amy is just plain honest. And gives a lot of personal examples about how motherhood collides with just about everything in your identity... your career, your marriage, your dreams. And although at first it seems like it kills all of that. It really doesn't. Just takes some time to shuffle it all around to make sense. Thus, the book.

It lays down the simple process a mom goes through. And then gives you ways that MIGHT work to help you through it all. Because, as with everything, we are all different. And it might take you 3 years to move through to true mojo mom, where me? Hell, I think I just made it through the night with two wee ones that were clinging to my side after a long weekend away. But, I have hope that my mojo will be back in full force. Give or take a year.

Anyway, check out the book. Amy is awfully honest, gives great insights, and overall, just gives us mom's what we need to know we aren't insane in this motherhood business. We just need a little help, pick me up, and an occasionally girlfriend time to regain what was our PRE-CHILD and then who knows, turn into so much more afterward. And she's got a cool website that helps too. Check it out.

* Yup, a Mothertalk sponsored post. Which means they sent me the book. I read, I like, I post. Simple as that.

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The Noticer Project - Part 1

Monday, April 06, 2009 by Bethany

Want to send some positive vibes to the world? Make a difference in someones life? It's all about the small stuff. Just last week, I left money with a bartista at Starbucks to pay for the next customer's order. Whatever it was. Why? Because someone did this small ity bity thing for me about a year ago, on a day where I was in a pretty crummy mood, and it made my week. So, I passed it along. Well, now you have that chance as well. Welcome to The Noticer Project.

Here's the official low down:
On April 7, 2009, a viral grassroots movement called The Noticer Project (TheNoticerProject.com) is calling on people everywhere to "notice" five people who have made a positive impact on their lives.

The concept is based on the new book "The Noticer" (Thomas Nelson, April 28, 2009) by bestselling author of "The Traveler's Gift" Andy Andrews, which is all about gaining fresh perspective on life by noticing the little things. How you choose to recognize the five people who made a special impact on your life can take many forms-by joining The Noticer Project Facebook group, by publicity posting on TheNoticerProject.com, by posting a note on your personal Facebook site or blog, or even just sending individual emails. The basic point is to offer hope and encouragement in these tough times through the simple act of recognizing someone significant to you.

First, I'll give you a heads up. Never read any of Andy Andrews work. In fact, never heard of him until the email landing in my inbox about this latest online venture. But, the IDEA based around this book/web site--noticing people who had some influence in your life--I love. So, I'm in. The website, is apparently not completely live yet (tomorrow is the go-live date!), but I'm ready to share some love. So here it goes, 5 people that have influenced my life that you might not expect (in no particular order):*

Dana P (name changed to protect the innocent)
High school is a pretty impressionable age. An age I don't want to re-live if you paid me. It was full of wonder, growing, and of course my first fist fight. Yup, Dana charged me at a dance and slugged my across my right jaw over some rumor she'd heard earlier in the night. With little thought I just charged back at her--thank God for the big guy over in the corner, Mark, he stopped me. Just flat out grabbed my wrist, and said, "It's not worth it Beth. Just walk away." I think I swore at him, maybe even tried to wrestle away from his 6 foot 5 inch, 230 lb. frame, but in the end I walked away. You'd think he was the one with more influence, but really it was Dana. She was taking sides with some friends of mine. Close friends. In fact, she CREATED the sides in a way. And, although it killed me at the time, it forced me to stand alone as myself in the high school crowd. To stand up for what I thought was right (me) and not worry about what the rest of the world thought. And I did. For about 6 months. Until my closest friends and I made up over the trivial mess that had torn us apart. So, Dana--if you're out there--you may have thought by throwing a punch you pushed me down a notch. Really, looking back, it gave me a bit of confidence to stand on my own. No matter what.

Jenny S (name changed to protect the innocent)
Seems I was pretty influential in high school. It's a time of learning how to deal with the rest of the world... before the real grown up part. And for me, being mostly geek, I spent a lot of time reflecting and internalizing almost everything. And then walked in Jenny. She was a senior. Me? An impressionable Freshman. Both in forensics trying to make a name for ourselves. To me, she was THE girl. Confident, beautiful, smart... and didn't care what the rest of the world thought of her. And I liked that. It was everything I wanted to be but wasn't. And bless her, Jenny befriended me. We lived out a bit from school--she often would pick me up to chat, bring me to practice, and help me become better at my "role" in the group. It was great. I'd like to think that she took me under her wing and let me be me. I think she did. But she also did more, she shrugged off the rest of the crowd and kept hanging out with me, even when it was over. And ALWAYS told me to believe in me. It didn't matter what the rest of the world thought (Remember the first one? Yes, without Jenny, I don't know I would have survived Dana).

Nancy G (name changed to protect the innocent)
Moving on to college, when you really don't have a clue what you want to do. Or you might, but just have no idea how to get there. It was just after Freshman year, I was ready to move out of the dorms and on my own (for real), and get a job. One that would give me a flexible schedule, but also--just maybe--get me out of waitressing. And I landed in the Writing Center. Loved the job, loved what I was doing (helping others write!) and loved the crowd that worked there. We were encouraged to thing for ourselves, adventure into uncharted territory, and learn. Learn everything we wanted to know about ourselves and writing and life. I even presented a paper I WROTE to graduate students (and I was an undergrad).

But during all of that, I had a hard time writing. In fact, that paper I ended up presenting took almost 9 months to write. I had the bones. I had the hard facts. I knew what I wanted to say. But the writing just wasn't. The voice just not quite right... and I was frustrated. Nancy would smile each time I "tried" and just encourage me to keep trying. That the writing was inside me, it just took time. And finally, that 20th time, it was right. And instead of reading through with a red pen in hand, she only patted my shoulder and said, "You got it. Go get 'em." From that moment on, I wanted to be just like her.

Kurt R (his name was changed to protect the guilty )
I'm moving chronologically here... and we're going to land right at my first job. Green as green can be I landed a tech writing gig at a company that was in the hay-day of technology. It was hip, industrial, and full of a team of tech writers that were everything surrounding fun. And really (really) smart. So smart in fact, I felt a little out of my league. How was I, a recent grad, going to compare to these ultra-cool geeks that could set up a SIP network with their hands behind their back and rebuilt a PC with nothing but junkyard parts? Well, it involved many bar nights followed by days in the computer lab, and one kind gentleman who walked me right into my own geekdom (aside from my husband, who I met in college and MADE me sit my ass down in front of a computer and learn how to use it). And here I am today, a pretty knowledgeable tech writer. But what Kurt really taught me--was to just get right into the nuts and bolts and learn now to use it FOR REAL (none of this text book bull shit, get into loosening screws, and typing in code).

My Late Mother in Law
And the last on this list.... hmmm. There's a lot I could say here--we weren't fast friends, in fact, not sure we would call each other friends at all. In fact, the relationship was rocky at best. And there were a number of factors that made the situation what it was. BUT, she made me realize it isn't all about me. Not that was completely self-absorbed in any right, but I had to look past the difficult situation and make the best of it, for my husband. And for OUR life. When I was younger, I'd always thought I'd have a family much like what I had growing up. Mom's parents and Dad's parents, coming over all the time at the same time and eating HUGE meals together. And all getting along. Not that getting all the parents in the room didn't work for us, it was just uncomfortable. And there was always that hidden reservation hiding in the corner. In the end, I had to believe in myself, my husband, and my marriage. It made me stand up, and be me. Be a wife. And be a mother. BE something larger than just a woman trying to keep it together. And I was. And in the end, I'm stronger for it. Even though, the relationship tough.

It's kinda funny this list. I never really thought about how I would answer this question beyond those I am closest to. And yet, here it is. Every one of them helped me learn to be me. And, you know what, I'm still learning. But Dana, Jen, Nancy, Kurt, and Chris... hey, you made an impact. And I'm who I am today because of you.

Want to play along? Please do, just make sure to link to The Noticer Project (and add your choices to the page when it goes live tomorrow!). And if you think of it, let me know. I'd love to see who has influenced you.


* I decided to add on the "might not expect" qualifier here because, honestly, I'd pick my parents, my husband, and my kids. I obviously grew up around my parents, found and lived with my husband for over 10 years, and now am raising 2 kids--how can that NOT be influential? So, I've made this more difficult for myself. I'm going to call out people that may or may not know--that aren't immediate family--they've influenced my life and how/why. You can play along in any fashion you like. There are no rules.

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BOOK LOVE: The No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley

Saturday, March 21, 2009 by Bethany

It's been forever since I've posted a book review! Honestly, how dare I leave you hanging? Well, it is pretty indicative of the time I've had lately juggling work and yes, children. Some of which deals with the very issues discussed in today's book-- NAP TIMES--because I do work from home at least 2 times a week with an 18-month-old, who, um does in theory like naps, it's just a matter of WHERE she takes them. But, let me give you the low down first.

It's no secret I love Elizabeth Pantley (see my last review). I'm so into the whole Listen-to-your-kid Theory as well as the Each-kid-is-different Thing and the There-is-no-one-parenting-solution Thinking. Seriously. Who said one way is right? But I am even bigger into someone who just tells it like it is from experience. And (as I have said before), Elizabeth has 4 kids. She's gotta know something right? But hey, I'm likely preaching to the choir here. In short, it's a simple thing, Elizabeth is into non-crying solutions that MIGHT* help you get your child to take a nap without the kicking, screaming, whining, and more crying that you typically imagine when you tell your kid it's nap time. And yes, that does happen sometimes.

*We preface that with a Might because really, as Elizabeth says, each kid is an individual, there is no one solution that is perfect. Just do what you can. And she offers up at least a handful of solutions that might work for you...

Which brings me to my nap time issues (Come on! You knew they were coming!)... The Peanut. Love her. Even the whining, hanging on my leg. The constant need to TELL me when she is upset (even if it is a half hour later). Gotta love her ability to express herself, right? Anyway...

She's a better sleeper overall than her brother was. For him, I'd sit for hours rocking, patting, snuggling, singing (yes, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star was his favorite. It will be etched in his brain for eternity), until FINALLY he would fall asleep. Only for me to twitch and he'd awake and we'd start all over again. And this "routine" was consistent for both naps and bedtime until he was about 2 years old. And then, I gave in and let him just sleep in our bed from the start (we'd tried having him start out nights in "his" bed until I went nuts from sleep deprivation around 4am and then brought him to ours)... to which he dropped to sleep in about 15 minutes with little night waking. Of course, he spent most nights in our room until he was 4-years-old, but hey, I got sleep, he got sleep, and we weaned him from night nursing with not one more night of screaming, "Want MA! WANT MA! Want MA!" But, I digress, this is about The Peanut.

She likes sleeping, goes down pretty easily and hardly ever cries. So, what's the problem? She wants to be held the entire time. ENTIRE. TIME. I've learned to accommodate this when I work from home. Have the right chair, my laptop in front of me, phone close by to hush the ringer, and well... it works for now. But, my God, she is almost 2! I want to be able to put her down and say, take a shower. ALONE.

In comes, The No-Cry Nap Solution. I'd love to tell you I have read the book from cover-to-cover and that it is working swimmingly. And that my daughter is in fact sleeping in bed right now. But the truth is, she's on my lap. Sleeping of course. And I am not that much closer than I was a week ago. But, at least now I have some plan in mind. And that is what this book is perfect for. It tells you the Whys (why naps are good for all ages, why sleep can keep you sane--literally, and why napping should be an important part of your child's development), and gets you started on some paths that might work for you. One of which is the sleep log. Again, something I did for my son... and am in the process of doing now for my daughter. Granted, I'll admit, I'm not diligent to a fault. I'm taking a more high level approach so I stay sane. But, this book gives you that flexibility. It has worksheets, short chapters (hey, we don't have time to READ do we?), and there are a number of options to choose from. Most of which--I'll likely try and mold into what works for me. Even if it sadly means holding my daughter til she is 3 for naps during the day (unless of course I can lie with her and nap myself!). Because, that is what works for me. And, from Elizabeth's point of view, I think she'd be okay with that too. As long as it is not stressing me out.

But hey, please check out the book. It really does offer a ton of solutions and information on napping. It's all pro-choice, pro-NON-crying, and pro-child. I mean, she offers solutions, but let's you know it is okay if it isn't going swimmingly (like in my situation). Kids are kids. Adults are adults. And she's here for you. And she is. Take a look at her web site. Isn't it Da Bomb? More info there as well.... printable sleep logs, cheat sheets, free articles, and you can even write her for advice on your specific situation. It's lovely. As is the book. Can't ask for a better form factor for parent-to-parent advice.

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Talk about Awesome

Friday, December 26, 2008 by Bethany


This Is Where We Live from 4th Estate on Vimeo.

Using more than 1000 books and three weeks of filming in stop-motion, the producers Apt Studio and working with Asylum Films made this beautiful film to commemorate the 25th anniversary of imprint 4th Estate. The film contains numerous in-jokes and references to the books it features, and everything, from the ships in port to the cinema in Soho to the man fishing in Central Park is made out of books, covers, pages and words. In the campaign’s website you can check photos of the making of.

I know, I don't spend a ton of time pimping others on the web. I should, it's part of the blogging rules, right? Well, I'm working on it. And in my first attempt, you really should watch this stunning (stunning) video from 4th Estate, a book imprint of Harper Collins. It totally rocks. And in the spirit of reading, books, and publishing everywhere... please be around another 25 years.

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It's Happened

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 by Bethany

My son has started reading. Not just seeing 'Johnny Test' in the TiVo menu and jumping up and down because it is one of his shows to watch. Nope, he brought home and advanced reader book and was excited because HE could read it. And so we sat a week ago, and read THE THREE LITTLE PIGS by Margaret Hillert. Three. Times. And again the next night. And again. And again today. It made me all warm and fuzzy inside each and every time. And even more so when he moved on to another handful of books from the shelves in his room.

I had started to teach him to read over a year ago... only thing is, he didn't like listening to me. Or, more honestly, he was trying TOO hard to read for me. So, we struggled through the basics, and finally, I said I'd let nature take it's course. Let him read when he is ready. And, if I had forced him into doing something he didn't want to do and then ended up hating it... I couldn't forgive myself.

So, an entire quarter into his Kindergarten year in school and he's reading wonderfully. Above his age level. And loving it. So much so, he is more excited about library day than any day of the week. He's graduated into being able to take 2 books home a week--and reading them by that evening. Like mother, like son.

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Do I Look Good Naked?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 by Bethany

Long before children, I slept naked. There. I admitted something personal on the Internet. I'll blame the sleeping habit on my husband. He chose the nude as sleeping attire, curious if it would be as freeing as he claimed, I gave it a shot. Surprisingly, I too loved it. That is, until the children were born. And I was getting up at all hours of the night to nurse (my son born at the end of November, close to the dead of winter). I soon gave up the habit. But this isn't about me...

Last week I read Anna Johnson's THE YUMMY MUMMY MANIFESTO. She's all about choosing your own parenting style and a little bit of nakedness. Sometimes in the rain. What does this have to do with me and my old sleeping habits? Not a whole helluva lot--except maybe if I was a bit more free-living, I'd enjoy being naked more. Or say I lost a good 50 lbs. Though I must say, still nursing, I just don't wear a shirt half the time anymore. It's easier. At least when I am at home.

Anyway, this has to do with The Peanut, my daughter. We, as Americans, have this thing with changing diapers and then putting kids in clothing. Whether just a onsie or wrapping in a blanket or whatever. I admit, my kids naked a whole 30 minutes for bath time and then I slap on a diaper and some sorta of clothing. Mostly because I don't want her peeing (or worse shitting) all over the joint. And, of course, I don't want her to freeze her ass of in the post-bath wetness.

Today? Today, I let the kid crawl, scoot, sit, do whatever a 10-month-old does for over an hour completely naked. Did I worry she would piss all over? Hell yeah. But at the same time... she laughed herself silly when she held onto her Elmo stuffed animal and the fur rubbed her belly. She clapped (and clapped and clapped) when she accidentally smacked her hand on that same bare belly. And hell if she didn't crawl for a bit and then stop after she felt a bit of the wind on her ass. It was hilarious to watch. And just a joy to watch her be free.

Not exactly sure what she was free from--other than her clothing. But I realized, when trying to wrestler her back into her clothes (and it really was a wrestling match full of yelling, crying, kicking, and a few wiggles free), that she loved it. I loved watching her with no reservations--and that is a good thing. Especially, since if I really think about it. I'm not naked more often for the obvious reasons--open windows, children running amok in the house--but also because I am not exactly comfortable with my naked self. And I'll be damned, I should really start working on that.

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Book Love

Wednesday, July 09, 2008 by Bethany

In the past few weeks, I've given some props to some wonderful books at Poshmama.com. Won't bore you with details here (especially if you read over there), but if you're into light women's fiction books (as in beach/night reads that are quick, fun, and delightful), check out SWITCHCRAFT by Mary Castillo, ACCIDENTAL IT GIRL by Libby Street, CARPE DEMON: ADVENTURES OF A DEMON-HUNTING SOCCER MOM by Julie Kenner, HOW TO TEACH FILTHY RICH GIRLS by Zoey Dean, or my latest read THE UNFORTUNATE MISS FORTUNES by Jennifer Crusie, Anne Stuart and Eileen Dreyer. All great fun for a summer night.

Now, if you want something with a bit more meat? Or say, not exactly women's fiction, but still a good read, try KEEPER AND KID by Edward Hardy, MATRIMONY by Joshua Henkin or MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU by Darin Strauss. All still great summer reads, but not so light on your toes (but maybe turning the pages just as fast).

Speaking of not being light on my toes, I can't say I have been participating whole-heartedly in Melanie Hauser's 3 Books A Month Club (hell, I'm reading, just not reporting back). But hoping this list gives me at least a half a gold star for attempting to get back in the game.

And if you aren't over at Poshmama, get on over there. It's a blast. Though, the rules say you have to be female (not necessarily a mom). Sorry guys, it's a bit exclusive. Then again, do you really want to hear about make-up, style tips, and clothing every day?

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Blog Tour: A SUMMER AFFAIR by Elin Hilderbrand

Wednesday, July 02, 2008 by Bethany

I'm going on vacation in 1 day. One, bloody more set of 24 hours that constitute a day. Which means I'll have not one more ounce of work to think about for 13 days. And that seems blissful. Especially if I would have had A SUMMER AFFAIR to read while I was ON vacation, as it is perfect for one of those times you just want to be whisked away into someone else's existence for a few hours. Or days. I mean, look at that cover? Does that not just scream flip flops and Capri pants while basking in the sun?

The book's premise is one I could relate to--a woman, a mom to four, wife to one is a people-pleaser. Claire Danner Crispin's also an artist. Well, ex-artist, after she decided to give up her glass-blowing of art pieces when her son was born premature. And of course she runs a household on Nantucket. But the story really begins a few years earlier...

Claire went out with her girlfriends for a night of drinks. Martinis, beer, wine be had a few jumped in a camp and another didn't listen to the rest and jumped in her car. And wham... and accident. Daphne does recover. But not completely to the "way she was," and Claire is ridden with guilt. Heavy guilt. Her reasoning? She bought the last round of drinks and she invited the woman for God-sakes!

The guilt doesn't stop there... there's her son's early birth due to her hot shop/glass blowing activities. Then there are the 800 odd things she's asked to do, and compulsively volunteers to do. Including this co-chairing the Summer Gala thing for the Nantucket Children's Benefit. Which, since Lock Dixon asked her (hint: Daphne's husband. The woman who was in the accident), how could she say no?

It's get even more complicated... she gets asked create an auction piece for the event, the fact that her best friend is also her sister in law, or that she knows the hottest rock star on the planet (Max West) and they expect her to get him to come and play at the Gala. For Free. He was her old boyfriend, it isn't impossible--right? Oh and her sister and brother-in-law own a catering business that could be up for the Gala, that Jason, her husband, has a high libido (yhen again what nan doesn't?)--oh and one other tiny thing, she ends up in an extra-marital affair.

You can imagine how messy this gets for Claire right? Very. Messy. So much so I found myself shaking my head and wondering what else might get screwed up in the process. And that is part of the "fun" part of the book. You get to read. Gasp. Make snarky comments. Judge. And hell, you're in your own home and no one is the wiser. In the end, you might even get to see how the hell this all turns out for Claire.

Elin Hilderbrand (author extraordinaire) does a great job of giving you a sense of community in the book (Nantucket's not that big) and the very fact that it is a small town. One that has only a handful of people (as compared to say Chicago or New York) and they all intertwine. Some more literally, as in family lines, more than others, who say work together professionally. Or say, socially.

After getting sucked into Claire's life and emotions for the first portion of the book, I felt a bit cheated when the point of view changed and I was in someone else's head. In fact, I was sad. I wanted Claire back! But then I turned a few more pages. Read some more. Got sucked in again, And learned more about Siobhan. And then Gavin. Lock. Jason. Oh hell, the whole lot of characters. It gave the book more depth. More complication. And that is what makes this book a good summer read.

The story takes you outside yourself--even back into your childhood thinking about your first love. You imagine yourself in the predicaments. The friendships. The families. And suddenly you are at the end of the book! It's a solid tale with twists, a few heart-aching moments, truthfulness, and some depth. It's great to get lost in, especially when on vacation. But you might just find yourself wanting to keep tagging along with this crew for another installment. You meet a lot of characters and there isn't one that you don't find out a hidden truth.


* This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. Yep, I get books to read, reviews to write, and an occassional gift certificate for my time.

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MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU by Darin Strauss

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 by Bethany

The story starts simple enough--a man, Josh Goldin, an TV airtime salesman, that works for Sparkplug, a television company. Walking around with the new person on the block. Smiling. Working his magic. Being the co-worker he always knew he could be, and then the call comes. His son is in the hospital.

The 8-month-old vomited. But it wasn't just normal vomit there was blood in it, then he coded. Then he was all right. And then there were the doctors. Did Dori, Josh's wife remember to tell the attending ER doctor about the blood? What about the tests they did or did not do? And this is only where the story begins.

And it of course gets more complicated. There is the head of the Pediatrician unit at the hospital, Dr Darlene Stokes, who wonders about this family. Particularly the mother. And then there's Dr Stokes' mother, Alice. Her ex-con father Intelligent Mohammad (or Charles Stokes). Her now dead husband... her own son James.

But those are only the characters and the basic situations. What makes MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU one of the best reads I've had recently is the layering of information. The minute you think you "know" a character, it all changes. I was flip flopping from tender moments of intimacy with knowing what motivated a character (or so I thought), to gut wrenching scenes that had me gasping for breath. Who knew you could read along with the story and suddenly have everything you knew ripped from you?

It's a page-turner in and of itself since, once in the flow of the story, there is a need to keep reading. To find out what you didn't know three pages before. To find out what is going to happen to the characters that your suddenly caring about.

Of course, as with the real world, the book is also wrought with personalities, race, religion, morals, justice, and plain old life circumstance. But what makes it worth the read, is how these all play off one another. Does the book go "over the top" for the sake of fiction? Not really. It gives you a peak into each players head and gives you the reasons and motivations behind their actions--sometimes with disturbing effects.

It's truly a wonderfully crafted tale. There are twists, turns, suspicions, and a whole lot of good story telling. I am still breathless and caught up in what transpires. It's a book that will have to be read more than once to catch all the nuances the author, Darin Strauss, intended.

Oh and did I sound like I was gushing? Well, I am. The book took me by surprise and I love that. I'd read the blurbs, signed up to review and added it to the pile. But when I started reading? Well it became the book I didn't expect, but in a good way. Completely captivating and compelling read. Even though, there was more then once, I was a bit afraid what might be on the next page--or what dear character might throw me for a loop next. Trust me on this one, completely worth the read. Just get ready for a few surprises.

* This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. Love that I get a chance to read and relate to these authors and their work. It truly is a labor of love.

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Blog Tour: THE STAY-AT-HOME SURVIVAL GUIDE by Melissa Stanton

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 by Bethany

I'm a mom that has always worked once she had children. My son was 6-weeks-old when I went back to work. And I was fortunate, I was a consultant and worked completely from home. That is until 3 months later I had to work on site 10 hours a day all summer long. And then of course, I went back to working from home MOST days of the week, back to a full time in office gig.

With my daughter, I did take the full maternity leave that I could afford--16 weeks. We even pulled my son out of pre-school during that time too. To save money, to save my time from shuffling him to and from school, and--if I am honest--to see if I could do the stay-at-home thing. And you know what? I could.

The reality is, when my son was born, it freaked me out to consider staying home. I'd spent a long time in college, a lot of money on a degree, and a lot of time building a budding career. I couldn't stand to think of leaving that for mommyhood. So, I didn't. I jumped back into work. I stressed, I managed, and I breastfed the kid til he was almost two--all with a headset attached to my ear for numerous conference calls, more than a few overnight stays on client sites, and survived it all.

With my daughter, and my son now older, wiser, and looking a bit too grown up... I had a different perspective. One of a mom considering staying at home. Or wanting to stay at home to enjoy these "fleeting" moments with my kids. And hell, we can't have more if I am working my tail off! But...

So, I am going out on a limb here, I am scared to try it. For a few reasons. Financial is numero uno. How can one afford to live on one salary? Seriously, you give me ways to do this (we already live by a budget), and I might just have to give my notice tomorrow! Secondly, it's my sanity. I know how it is to stay at home with children. I've lived through it twice now. And am still living with an expressive 9-month-old who only likes to be held when I am around and a kindergartener come Fall. There is a helluvalot more running aroudn now! And a lot less of mom to pull into directions.

Enter THE STAY-AT-HOME SURVIVAL GUIDE Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane, and connected while caring for your kids by Melissa Stanton. I seriously cannot gush enough about this book. It's not a tell-all guide for leaving work and becoming a stay at home mom. Really. We all live different lives, who knows what you need to do to take the leap. But it does share what other moms did. What Melissa, the author herself, did. What you could do. And by all means, what you might do.

But what the book does best is just share with you that--guess what--staying home as a mom is a full time gig. One that isn't always pretty. Sometimes sucks. But in the end, can be survivable and fun. Is this some earth-shattering new news? Hell no! We all love our kids. When they aren't screaming, having tantrums, and are acting like angels for the 2 seconds a day that make them utterly adorable we could just eat them up.

This book gives you the reality, shares other mom realities, and offers that shoulder (of many) that you can turn to, to know what to expect when staying at home, and how to make the best of it. LOVE the extras in and about the chapters (Who Cares for Katie Couric's Kids? cracked me up. The title tells all--celebrities are given gold stars for being moms. But, um, do they do it all on their own?). And as much as the book says it is for stay-at-home moms, there is a ton of info that is JUST as valauble to a working mom. Especially one who works from home part of the time. But even if you don't... who doesn't need a little guidance (or a few girlfriends) to tell you that you aren't alone when you forgot diapers at home, spend more time in your car carting around kids to games and doctor appointments than you have for yourself in the last 10 years, and that your feeling along in this parenting thing. Really alone.

The books weaving of expert advice, or articles on parenting/women/working/SAHM/WAHM/whatever label you want to put here, and personal adcedotes, along with the whole "girlfriend" tone of the book is wonderful. Delightful even. It's not preachy. It just tells facts. Relatable, REAL life experiences... that as I said, make it a worth while read no matter what you circumstance. But even moreso if you want to, have considered, ARE, or once was a stay at home mom doing THAT juggling dance (because, come on, being a SAHM does mean you are multitasking to the 9th degree... laundry, cleaning, feeding, napping, bathing, dressing, hygene, appointments, games, school, crafts, cooking).

Which brings me back to my point... I asked to review this book because I'd love more than anything to land on the other side of the fence. Chuck the paying corporate day job to stay home with my kids. My stress level would be reduced to only times of tantrums and sickness (instead of worrying myself to the point of sickness when I left the baby at the sitter when she wasn't exactly better). I wouldn't have to juggle a crying baby and whining 5 year old while on a conference call and leading a high-profile project (because when you add that to the SAHM list above, it is almost heart-attack stressful). And maybe once a year, just once, I could relax and enjoy being "just a mom." Because quite frankly, there are days it would be nice. This book makes me wonder if I should just take the plunge.


* This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. Love that I get a chance to read and relate to these authors and their work. It truly is a labor of love.

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BLOG TOUR: The Working Woman's Pregnancy Book

Thursday, May 15, 2008 by Bethany

Just as recently as 8 months ago, I had baby number 2. And yes, just like the first, I worked all the way up to my delivery date. In fact I went into labor WHILE working. Though it was a "work at home" day. Was I crazy? Did I do what I should? Did I over-extend myself? I have personal responses to all of those... sometimes, sure, and I don't think so. But it helps to have a professional opinion to way in on the situation--THE WORKING WOMAN'S PREGNANCY BOOK is just that.

I was especially fond of the parts of the book that talked about working and being pregnant. The looks. The perceptions of being a woman and pregnant in a male-dominated working environment. And the stretching exercises that might have helped my back with this last baby (really, where was this book then?) Really, when you are as huge as a whale and want nothing more than to go home and crawl into a bed (and then inevitably lie awake), you wonder why the hell you work. Sadly, that even continues after the little one is born. The whole grass is greener ideal comes into play--always.

But that's it. The book goes into details for EVERYTHING pregnancy. The embryo sizes, planning for pregnancy, breastfeeding or not, and everything. This is all good for first time moms. I would have loved this before my son was born. This last time around? I could have used the cliff notes of my favorite chapters:

- Pregnancy's Effects on Work, and Work's Effects on Pregnancy (the Efficiency section was gloriously true!)
- You and Your Baby-to-Be (this is where those exercises were illustrated)
- Communication at Work (Changes section... and yes people talk about you when you are pregnant, no matter how family friendly and Maternity Leave. You never feel like you have enough time).
- Getting Bigger, The Last Few Weeks section (I was a whale, I was uncomfortable, I was a bear, I wanted nothing more than to go into labor)

I loved the quotes from real women throughout... sometimes I would have rather read those than the text. But, hey, I've been through the pregnancy thing at work two times now. I just want to know how other's had it.

But it's a great resource. I'd highly recommend it for all those mom's that are starting out. It can be the only book that they buy!

Here's where to get more info:

- Marjorie Greenfield, M.D.-- Author Website
- Publisher Website
- Buy the book from Amazon

Oh and as always, thanks to the gals at MotherTalk for the opportunity to read the book!

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Choose your own adventure- GRETA style!

Thursday, May 01, 2008 by Bethany

LIFE OF GRETA, Chapter 4: A Clue, Now What? is up at Hybrid Mom. Yep, pimpin' the serial fiction column again.

This week it's fun and easy. All you do is read and CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE! Remember those fun books from when we were young. Reading of the clues, adventure, and the mishaps--and at the end you get 3 choices (go downtown to try to solve the clue? Go and talk to Grandma to figure out what Johnny was really doing on Saturday? Or just decide to investigate yourself at the library). Yes, YOU get to decide what Greta does next! Please, go check it out.

And don't fret if you haven't read thus far, read from the beginning here.

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Penguin's Six Stories. Six Authors. Six Weeks.

Friday, April 25, 2008 by Bethany

This is the coolest thing I've seen in a while. Six DIGITAL stories. Love the folks at Penguin UK.



Here's the skinny, click on one of the images to the left (or atop). Then when you get there, pick your story.

Each one pays homage to a classic--but don't let that discourage you. Definitely contemporary writing. And definitely a whole lot of fun. Think a story with pictures, with maps, with clicks to find more... it's a Choose Your Own Adventure via computer! Fabulous! I am dying for more than six!

And I must admit I'm "reading" a few again. The first time around I was so giddy, the pictures were there as a backdrop while I read. The second reads, I'm finding the "extras," looking for the hidden meanings. And just generally loving this medium even more. Please Penguin, do this some more!

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Paperback releases and GRETA

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 by Bethany

So, two things today that I need to mention:


I reviewed Allison Winn Scotch's book THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND way back when (here in case you want to read it again). It's a great book. And she's a wonderful person. If you didn't want to shell out the cash for the hardcover, her book came out this week in paperback. Go buy yourself a copy! Oh and don't freak out, they did indeed change the cover for paperback!







Secondly, I'm pimping my own writing this week. Again.

LIFE OF GRETA, Chapter 3 (Adventure Here I Come!) is up at Hybrid Mom. Help an as-yet unpublished author get some attention, will ya! All it takes is your time to read the latest--and comment. Hell, if you comment this week, I'll mold a character after you! Come on... I know you want to. Join the fun here! (oh and don't fret if you haven't read thus far, read from the beginning here).

Was that enough promotion for you? I'm all about writing, helping authors, and well, showing off my own work. Work with me!

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THE CURE FOR MODERN LIFE by Lisa Tucker

Wednesday, April 09, 2008 by Bethany

I fell in love, immediately with the characters in THE CURE FOR MODERN LIFE. Which, is what I very much expected from Lisa Tucker. I loved the characters in ONCE UPON A DAY.

To say I was smitten with Matthew Connelly, not completely accurate. It took me at least three chapters to begin to sort him out (how couldn't it when the first line is, " Was Matthew Connelly a bad man?"). But then again, he's a man. And that figuring out thing? Well, it made him that much more intriguing. And fun to read about. Which, Lisa did flawlessly. But don't let me get too hung up on Matthew. There's more characters to swoon over.

There's Danny and Isabelle... the homeless children that, by chance, get thrown into Matthew's life. And suddenly make him question how he's lived his life and what's right. The knight trying to save his sister... and mother. So naive and unobstructed with the material things in life (except an iPod of course!). It is sweet. Innocent. And touching.

Of course, I can't forget Amelia--Matthew's once lover and now arch enemy. That whole dynamic--and Amelia's thoughts on the ethical and human parts of life? Had me riveted. She's complicated, dynamic, emotional... so real. The old college friend, Ben--super-genius scientist. Who's complicated in his own right. Sure, Matthew describes him as shy and introverted (scared to ask Amelia out)... but soon you find out, maybe he's not as shy as anticipated. Maybe driven in the world of science--but not scared of the world.

All of these characters that I love so much entwine, twist, turn, and then question every decision they've made (and might make) into this wonderful story. Another that I will be keeping up on my shelf. I just couldn't put the book down for a WHOLE NIGHT. I kept putting myself in the shoes of the characters... what would I do? How would I react? Would I challenge Matthew? or Ben? Or Amelia? Would I kick out Danny and Isabelle? The book was addicting. As were the characters.

Here's the back jacket blurb to get you started:
Matthew and Amelia were once in love and planning to raise a family together, but a decade later, they have become professional enemies.

To Amelia, who has dedicated her life to medical ethics, Matthew's job as a high-powered pharmaceutical executive has turned him into a heartless person who doesn't care about anything but money. Now they're kept in balance only by Matthew's best and oldest friend, Ben, a rising science superstar -- and Amelia's new boyfriend.

That balance begins to crumble one night when, coming home to his upscale Philadelphia loft, Matthew finds himself on a desolate bridge face-to-face with a boy screaming for help. Homeless for most of his life, ten-year-old Danny is as streetwise as he is world-weary, and his desperation to save his three-year-old sister means he will do whatever it takes to get Matthew's help. What follows is an escalating game of one-upmanship between Matthew, Amelia, and Danny, as all three players struggle to defend what is most important to them -- and are ultimately forced to reconsider what they truly want.

The Cure for Modern Life is about what it means in the twenty-first century to be responsible, to care about otherpeople, and to do the right thing.
But don't take my word for it, check out the book for yourself! While your waiting, check out the other stuff online:

- Lisa Tucker's Website
- Chapter One Excerpt
- Reviews
- Buy the book from Amazon now

Again, this post is brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk! Keep the great books coming...

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Only Child by Deborah Siegel & Daphne Uviller

Tuesday, April 08, 2008 by Bethany

I'm married to an Only. To which, I am not. I have one sister a couple years younger. One who, we don't always see eye-to-eye (toy-to-toy, life chance-to-life-chance) but, we are nonetheless sisters to the core. Mess with her, you mess with me (yes, that's the Big Sister/Brother Mantra. And it still stands today). Sibling life, after being married for over 9 years to an Only, I realize is different. At least to one that is an Only.

Early on, when my husband was only a boyfriend, we did the obligatory holiday visit to the families. We started at my parent's home. Hugs, kisses, presents, tree-decorating, food, and of course, the annual sisterly fight. That particularly year, it only took about 5 hours.

My sister was still in high school. I'd come home from college with my boyfriend and, for once, was ready for a little family time. It didn't bother me to chit chat with mom and dad in front of the illuminated fire place and reminisce, discuss politics, and even come to terms with my last term's grades. I was, what-can-I-call-it, being treated almost like an adult. And with a man at my side, I almost felt like one. At least until my sister decided she was bored. Friends started calling non-stop and she expected to be able to take the car for a night on the town. On Christmas Eve.

Initially, whether I was showing off for this boyfriend or to my parents my new found grown-upedness, I kept my trap shut. I think I even offered a thin smile to what-would-become-my-future-husband and tried to let it roll off my shoulders. My sister, barely sixteen, kept badgering my parent's authority. Chiming in to say how "she never gets to do anything," and about how "unfair it was that they were keeping her home." She even went so far as to say that they were "ruining her life." Remembering my year at 16, the feelings were normal. Ones I likely shared too. Not in that way of course. I was the eldest. Surely, I didn't storm off in tantrums and slam doors. But then of course, my sister, master of pushing my buttons (as all siblings are), did the abdominal--she pulled the sister card. "You would have let Beth do it!" she screamed from the top of the stairs.

Whether this was a dig at my parent's parenting ability or at at myself didn't matter, my blood immediately boiled. I digressed into behaving like a ten-year-old and stomped upstairs to have an "adult" word with my sister. Why didn't she want to spend time with me (it wasn't every weekend I was home from college)? Did she not want to meet my boyfriend? Be with mom and dad?

The fight, accusing, combative, combustive--all sisterly, all sibling related. Even the jab at my adolescent rights (and no, my parents wouldn't have let me take the car to visit friends on Christmas Eve. This was notoriously a "family night"). Nothing really out of the ordinary. Except maybe that I had a boyfriend sitting downstairs, foolishly grinning and trying to get along with my parents without my presence at his side.

But for my eventual husband? This "argument?" The futility of it all. Unreasonable explosiveness. The very fact that it turned into a sister fight over nothing--appalled him! How could I? She was my sister! I had a sister, one that albeit immature sometimes (at least at 16), but a sibling nonetheless... why fight? He obviously was oblivious. I reasoned my actions to him--showed the bones of contention, why her jab had wounded my feelings, why if my parents DID let her take the car it would dishonor me... and well, it all fell on deaf ears. He was still laughing at my pointed list of reasons why I was mad. All he could understand was that she was my sister. Period. Who cares if she left to visit friends? We'd visited over dinner. After dinner. Tomorrow... and of course, put in those terms. He was (probably) right. At least in that moment.

The thing is--by experiencing that moment then, and reliving it now--I can see, how as an only child, the moment was funny. If not excruciatingly embarrassing for him. He didn't get it. The fighting. And the fact that she's my sister, getting on each other's nerves is part of the big picture. Part of being siblings. Part of who we are and our relationship.

That is where I missed the point. He didn't know. As an Only--it was him and his parents. And that relationship would require an entire post itself to dissect. It was tumultuous in good times. Being a girlfriend (and now wife) of an only son had a mountain of expectations to complicate matters. Family names had to be taken into consideration. What about future children. What about holidays--we have no other children to make them special. The need and wants for their son's (full) attention. Being on-call for parents when they need them... the list was endless. And here I'd thought this one-ness might make it less complicated.

ONLY CHILD dissects the Only mystery. It's full of insight and honesty for all the nuances of what being an Only means--whether that is content, lonely, jealous, insightful, always feeling on the outside. Each essay gave me a little ity bit more insight into my husband's brain. His hard-wired one-ness. It's complicated! I had no idea that the idea of turning to a someone special instead of one's parents for advice was so life changing (Laundry Distance by Lynn Harris). Or the burdens of losing a parent (we all know that is hard, really hard)--can be especially burdening on a single-child (Dodging Laurie by Daphne Uviller). Sure this seems obviouss, but THINK about it some more. Only child, only responsiblity (and unfortunatley, this year, The Husband has had first hand experience at this). Or the fact that no matter what you do as an only child--you're it. The everything--and mostly high expectations follow (You're It by Betty Rollin).

All of this is nothing new--if I thought about it enough. But coming from the writings of other Onlies? Well it gives me more of a perspective of what it might have been like growing up like my husband. Or why, when we decided to have children--it was always children, not a child. His deepest want was admitted, he always wanted a sibling.

Thoughtful, heart-wrenching, honest, and funny--these writers brought it to life for me. The life of an Only is just as complicated as those with Siblings. And now you have a little insight into why. Take a look at the author's websites, blog, interviews (all below), and more:

- Deborah Siegel's Website
- Girl With Pen - Deborha's Blog
- Interview with Deborah
- Daphne Uviller's Website
- Publisher's website
- Purchase the book from Amazon

*This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. And the Publisher. Love that I get a chance to read and relate to these authors and their work. It truly is a labor of love.

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BOOK TOUR: NAPTIME IS THE NEW HAPPY HOUR by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

Thursday, April 03, 2008 by Bethany

Need the honest-to-God, I'm gonna give it to you like it is, wine-drinking, exhaustion ridden truths about raising a toddler (believe me when I say I've been there)? Well, NAPTIME IS THE NEW HAPPY HOUR and OTHER WAYS TODDLERS TURN YOUR LIFE UPSIDE DOWN by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is just your book (and then some).

This ain't no parenting advice book. Well not really anyway. Sure we get a handful of children's television show reviews, toy suggestions (or not), the holiday dos and dont's, as well as how to find a good mom friend (or playdate). But it's not all fact-bound or stuffy. It's more--how shall I put this?--candid. And freaking HILARIOUS. Stefanie takes the fun and puts it back into motherhood. Not to mention a dose of much-needed reality. All that mom-poser stuff--my kid is better than yours because we don't watch TV, never have a lick of sugar, and know seven languages by age 3--is given a much needed bitch slapping.

I don't know about you, but life on the playgroup scene hasn't been to kind to me. I tried on a few (six) when The Kidd was a baby. And then again when he turned 118-month(ish). I figure he needed a friend or two (and hell, I needed someone to talk to that wasn't providing me a paycheck or eating Cheerios off the floor). So, my misadventures in the playgroup scene began. Much like Stefanie, I met the Holier-than-Thou Moms. The ones stuffing so many activities in a day they were afraid to stay home, and Those that Like To Compare Milestone Notes. It was awful. So much so, I just gave up and went back to working from home countless hours a week and sat The Kiddo behind me to watch hours of television.

Stefanie's experiences in NAPTIME don't end with playgroups though. She runs the gamut with the reality checks, sarcastic toddler humor, and I'm Gonna Die moments. These are a few of my favorites in the book:

- Suburban Boredom (let me fess up... Stefanie and I, different backgrounds. But that doesn't mean that this essay didn't have me crying in I-can-relate tears.)
- Supermom or Superlair?
- Playdates: and Other Potentially Irritating Ways to Spend an Afternoon
- Television: It's Not Just For When You Are In the Shower
- Food: It's Not What's For Dinner
- A Little Help, Please?
- It's All About Date Night: And Other Urban Legends
- Going for Broke--Or a Second Baby

Okay, really I liked them all. Making this list was like cutting off an arm.

I've never had so much fun reading a parenting book before. And I've read plenty. This one was poignant, hysterical, and one I'm adding to my list of Read This Before Kids pile for baby showers gifts. Mostly because, I want new mothers to see the funny in the chaos of what life becomes.

Ready for more Stefanie? I sure am! You can find more info here:
- Baby on Bored (Stefanie's blog)
- Two interviews by Mommy Bloggers (here and here)
- Buy the book on Amazon

Seriously, if you are ready for more laughs, her blog is the first stop.

*This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at Mothertalk. Gotta love 'em!

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BOOK REVIEW: THE BABY LOTTERY by Kathryn Trueblood

Sunday, March 30, 2008 by Bethany

Simple put, this book ain't for sissies. It tackles all the hard stuff--abortion, alcoholism, life, death, infertility, friendships, single-motherhood, relationships, divorce, career. And there isn't a reprieve throughout the entire book. It's wonderfully crafted, throwing you into the lives of five women in their late thirties--all of them having known each other for years--and let's you live their lives for a moment.

From the beginning THE BABY LOTTERY by Kathryn Trueblood tackles tough issues, Nan, the OB nurse is the first of the characters we meet is in the midst of her work day. Which, for this nurse, isn't a good day. She loves her job and was made to do what she does (mom a nurse in WWII and a minister dad who ended up helping pregnant mothers in need), but has become a bit hardened with time. Why wouldn't she? She was a single young mom earlier than all her friends. Responsibility wasn't a choice, it was her only option. But... I am getting ahead of myself.

Here's the rest of the characters: Jean, the recent divorcee and a woman torn because of failed pregnancies and her inability to conceive. She's wrought between a past and her current life. And being burnt out by her previous career as a social worker. It only gets more complicated when Charlotte get's pregnant (bear with me, I'll cover Charlotte in a bit). Virginia (also a divorcee), the lecturer and now single mom of Milo. Her soon to be ex-husband tried hard (and could fix everything), but seemed to never know that there was a bank account that did run out of money. Eventually. Ginny's trying to balance now a full course load, this new single-mom thing, and of course living alone. Believe me when I say it's not all fun and games.

Tasi is the forever career woman. Has literally climbed the corporate ladder from an Admin to now a PR director of sorts. Honestly, knowing women like her in real life, she rocks! And one would think she has it all right? Well, she's not married, no kids... and she'd Vacation Dating a married man in the office. It get icky. So does the rest of Tasi's life when her mom's health gets a blow, as well as her Dad's dealing with her mom's health. And then there are her brothers, her ulcers... and you'll have to read for the whole of it.

And lastly Charlotte. It is no secret that this is the catalyst for this entire story... hell, it is on the jacket copy. Charlotte is the immature friend. You know the one--parties, naive, gets married for all the wrong reasons. Yes, that's her in a nutshell. And then she becomes pregnant. And delays the abortion til the second trimester. How's that one for a cliffhanger? Well, it's what gets all these women talking. And questioning. And wondering. And faltering.

The book is honest. Open. In a Tell It Like It Is sorta writing style. Each woman has a different perspective. Different opinion. And let me be the first to tell you they clash. This is a hot topic, why wouldn't it mimic real life?

Kathryn doesn't back down one bit from the heart of the matter on all accounts. Even including the pasts of every character, down the the truth of it all--they've shared one common element. Abortion. And now it's finding its way back into their lives again. Riveting commentary. Heartbreaking choices. And real life women adorn the pages of the book. And keep you reading until the end.

Want to learn more about THE BABY LOTTERY or Kathryn? It's easy, check these places out online:
- Kathryn Trueblood's Web Page
- An Excerpt from the book
- Interview with Kathryn
- Buy the book here

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THE LIAR'S DIARY by Patry Francis

Tuesday, February 26, 2008 by Bethany

Remember Patry Francis and my plea for you to go buy her first book? As I stated, I joined the 300+ bloggers (and more now) to help a fellow writer--one who's book debuted just recently, but also a woman who's been suddenly diagnosed with cancer and is under going treatment. Right when her book is being released.

Well, I finally got her book in my hands, THE LIAR'S DIARY. If the large dark rings under my eyes prove anything today, is that the book did not disappoint. Not in a million years. It was heart-wrenching, real, frightening--and an all very well written thriller that will keep you page turning (like I did) until you find yourself at the end. An end that will have your swirling and whirling (again, like me).

I can't give away too many details. For one there are just too many and I won't give the book (and author) justice. And secondly, I just want to let the story unfold for you--the way it should. It's a thriller! I can't give a thing away. I just can't!

BUT, I do want to say this, the characters in this book, well, are to die for. Very real, riveting, and keep you guessing. I guess you could say they are very human, very real, and complicated. As each of us should be (don't you think?). Read and watch as the story unfolds. It will take you to dark places inside each of us. And into the hearts and minds into a cast of characters that will have you thinking about them--even after you put the book down 12 hours earlier.

It's a little like being thrown into suburbia, into a woman's life, into her families life, into her communities life, and learning about it all. How precarious it all is. Especially when something dreadful goes really (really) wrong. It's got all the pieces of a great literary read. Throw in the suspense. The sticky parts. And all the love that goes along with families, friends, and life. That's THE LIAR'S DIARY. Fabulous read to get lost in--make it your bathtub read this weekend. Trust me, you won't be able to put it down (might consider getting out of the bath and moving to your bed so you don't shrivel up into nothing). Oh, and you'll want to hug all that are near and dear to you when it's over.

Here's some more links to take a look at before you book arrives:

- Patry Francis' Website
- Patry's Blog
- Litparks' interview with Patry
- Algonkian Writer Conference's interview
- Patry's Publishers Marketplace Blog Home (writerly and authorly type advise)

Again, if sly, thrilling, suspense is your thing, get this book. It's really good.

This post was brought to you (again) by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. I love them. So will you. Stop by to read what others have to say about this book, and many others they help promote. The author's will love you.

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THE SKY ISN'T VISIBLE FROM HERE by Felicia Sullivan

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 by Bethany

If asked to describe this book in 3 words, I'd have to pick breath-taking, touching, and heart-wrenching.

I wish I could say it is in one of those Happy Ever After Ways, and it is--sorta--but instead it is more of a I Can't Get Over That Felicia Survived It Way. And by It I mean a childhood wrought with hardship, little money, a mother obsessed with drugs, alcohol, herself, and men that were no good. And an adulthood that managed to get her "out" of one lifestyle and into another one. One that was full of more money but just as much alcohol and unfortunately just as much cocaine. Only good point, Felicia got out of it. She found a way to push herself past her mother and let go.

Sorry, if I gave the ending away, but seriously, she wrote the book. She'd have to NOT be high. Right? (And Felicia, this is meant as sarcasm. Really. you go girl, because after what you went through, well, no one can play victim anymore. You just go out there and keep writing. Knock 'em dead. Kinky hair and all. Hell, you should see how stringy mine is!)

THE SKY ISN'T VISIBLE FROM HERE is wrought with childhood stories of the haunting kind. For me, an ordinary girl from the Midwest with a "normal" mom, it is almost unfathomable that a child could grow up and out of this environment. I'm not that naive to know that it doesn't happen though. I'm just again happy my life was pretty normal.

The most touching portion of the whole book is Felicia's love for her mother. Still. Even though she hasn't heard from her since the night of her college graduation and the fact that she has indeed let her go. Forever. In fact, the entire book revolves around how she is trying to "shed" this love. Her mother haunts her dreams, her decisions, and even her adulthood. That is, until she finally (finally) decides to let go. Let her mother be who she is, without trying to hide it from the rest of the world. And, by doing that, be who she is without her mother. It's breath-taking and honest. A path not many of us would want to take--breaking ties with a parent. And standing firm on it. But it's one Felicia took full heartedly.

Really, I just wanted to cheer as I neared the end of this book. And cry at the same time. Felicia was honest, open, and earth-shatteringly real throughout the book. She told the world about the worst moments of her life (and likely the most embarrassing). But yet when I read the book, I wasn't thinking it was embarrassing for Felicia, it was for her mother. She had a good thing going for her--a really good thing--and look at where "Lisa" is now?

I can't think of any better cause to go out and get this book other than to support a woman who has done it all by herself. She's come from out from under one of the biggest struggles of her life and made it out on top. Without the parental validation we all crave. And without a mother. So go buy her book.

Here's the official blurb:

Felicia Sullivan’s volatile, beautiful, deceitful, drug-addicted mother disappeared on the night Sullivan graduated from college, and has not been seen or heard from in the ten years since. Sullivan, who grew up on the tough streets of Brooklyn in the 1980s, now looks back on her childhood—lived among drug dealers, users, and substitute fathers. Sullivan became her mother’s keeper, taking her to the hospital when she overdosed, withstanding her narcissistic rages, succumbing to the abuse or indifference of so-called stepfathers, and always wondering why her mother would never reveal the truth about the father she’d never met.

Ashamed of her past, Sullivan invented a persona to show the world. Yet despite her Ivy League education and numerous accomplishments, she, like her mother, eventually succumbed to alcohol and drug abuse. She wrote The Sky Isn’t Visible from Here, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, when she realized it was time to kill her own creation.


And if that isn't enough, read the first chapter here (it is a PDF that will download).

Other places to visit online to learn about Felicia and this book are here:

- Felicia's Web Site and blog
- Guest blog post on Girl's Gone Child (this was so touching, it it TOTALLY worth the read)
- Interviews: Literary Rejections on Display, Interview in the Gothamist, Biography on Identity Theory, and Interview on Cruelest Month
- Buy the book at Amazon

This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. THE place for books, reviews, and all things motherly.

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Book Review: THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND by Allison Winn Scotch

Monday, February 11, 2008 by Bethany


Cancer sucks. No matter what the form--colon, lung, prostate--it is a definite buzz kill in any conversation. And completely a downer when "it happens" to someone you love. Which is exactly what happened to Allison Winn Scotch, the author of THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND.

Although the book is far from autobiographical or memoir, it is in honor of a close friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. And the book itself? Completely compassionate, honest, raw--and well, a real look at what it would be like to be young and diagnosed with the big C.

The book follows Natalie Miller from the day her very normal (if not hectic) life as a top political aide for a New York senator and girlfriend of a gorgeous boyfriend gets turned around. The boyfriend dumps her, the doctor finds cancer, the job she'd given her life too suddenly takes a turn for the worse, and she finds herself addicted to the Price is Right on her couch in her darkened apartment.

But don't think this book is a downer. Far from it. Natalie is a fighter. And one determined to figure out where it all went wrong. She fights back from the stares at work when she does venture in to help the "good" senator out and back into her past when she looks at her last 5 boyfriends. For old times sake. And sanity sake. Natalie's personality alone makes this book. She's headstrong. Vivacious. And plain determined to beat the cancer right out of her. Even if she is in a bit of a depression (I mean, who wouldn't be).

We get a dose of the real Natalie by way of her diary at the beginning of each chapter. And those entries and full of honesty, fear, and courage. Outwardly she puts on a face--but the truth behind that face is a wonderfully afraid person doing the best they can.

The book is full of jovial fun, as well as every day nonsense that keeps you laughing, even in the face of cancer. And having Natalie go down the path of past loves of her life? Well, makes you love her even more. Don't be afraid of the heavy subject matter here, Allison does a wonderful thing as an author, you laugh through a bit of tears, but come out the other end smiling. Beautifully written and a wonderful tribute to a friend.

Here's the official blurb for the book from Allison's web site:
It didn’t start out as the worst day of Natalie Miller’s life. At thirty, she is moving up the political ladder, driven by raw ambition and ruthless determination. As the top aide to New York’s powerful female senator, she works hard, stays late, and enjoys every bit of it, even if the bills she’s pushing through do little to improve the lives of the senator’s constituents. And if her boyfriend isn’t the sexiest guy alive, at least he’s a warm body to come home to.

Then he announces he’s leaving. But that news is barely a blip compared to what Natalie’s doctor tells her: She has breast cancer. And she can’t cure it by merely being headstrong. Now the life Natalie must change is her own.

All her energy, what little of it she has left, must go into saving herself from a merciless disease. So when she’s not lying on the sofa recovering from her treatments and indulging in a curious addiction to The Price Is Right, she realizes it’s time to take a hard look at her choices. She begins by tracking down the five loves-of-her-life to assess what went wrong. Along the way, she questions her relationships with her friends, her parents, her colleagues, the one who got away, and, most important, with herself: Why is she so busy moving through life that she never stops to embrace it?

As Natalie sleuths out the answers to these questions, her journey of self-discovery takes her down new paths and to unexplored places. And she learns that sometimes when life is at its most unexpected, it’s not what you lose that makes you who you are . . . it’s what you find.

And don't forget to check out this online fun:

- Allison Winn Scotch's Official Website
- Allison's Blog (lots of info for freelance and novel writers there!)
- An Interview with Allison
- Writers Unboxed Allison shares the limelight with a handful of other authors on this blog)
- Buy the book from Amazon

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In Support of Patry Francis and THE LIAR'S DIARY

Tuesday, January 29, 2008 by Bethany

Today is the release date for the trade paperback edition of Patry Francis' debut novel The Liar's Diary. And this is an extraordinary thing--see Patry, is dealing with cancer. An aggressive form of cancer. And treatment is her primary concern (as it should be). But, in this business of writing and publishing, it also means that is time away from making her dream (her book) come true--marketing, more marketing, and again marketing the book to the bone.

So, like the 300+ other bloggers (a lot writers like me), I am asking you to check out her book. It sounds damn good. Really. See for yourself:
What would you do if your best friend was murdered—and your teenaged son was accused of the crime? How far would you go to protect him? How many lies would you tell? Would you dare to admit the darkest truths—even to yourself?

Jeanne Cross is an ordinary suburban wife and mother with a seemingly "perfect" life when Ali Mather arrives on the scene, breaking all the rules and breaking hearts. Almost against her will, Jeanne is drawn to this powerfully seductive woman, a fascination that soon begins to infect Jeanne's husband as well as their teenaged son, Jamie.

Though their friendship seems unlikely and even dangerous to their mutual acquaintances, Ali and Jeanne are connected by deep emotional needs, vulnerabilities and long-held secrets that Ali has been privately recording in her diary.

The diary also holds the key to something darker. Though she can't prove it, Ali is convinced someone has been entering her house when she is not at home-and not with the usual intentions. What this burglar wants is nothing less than a piece of Ali's soul.

When Ali is found murdered, there are many suspects; but the evidence against Jamie Cross is overwhelming. Jeanne's personal probing leads her to the question none of us would ever want to face. What comes first: our loyalty to family—or the truth?"

Don't forgot to check out Patry's website and blog (send her some healthy vibes while you are at it). To help with it all, I'm ordering the book at Amazon right now myself.

Help me, help another writer. In this business, sometimes that is all it takes!

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Three Books a Month Club

Tuesday, September 25, 2007 by Bethany

Melanie Lynne Hauser, author extraordinaire (she wrote CONFESSIONS OF A SUPER MOM and SUPER MOM SAVES THE WORLD. Both fabulous reads. Please go buy them now. ), challenged us on her blog Refrigerator Door to buy three books a month. No libraries, free book pick-ups, but real, live purchases from any of your neighboring stores. And, hell, I at least buy three books a month. Call it supporting my dream job or just insanity. But either way, I figured I'd join the fun this month and share my first 3-book purchase for September and tell you why I bought them (besides the fact that I am just a book addict no matter what way you slice it).Fir

HOW TO TEACH FILTHY RICH GIRLS by Zoey Dean
First, who doesn't want to be rich? That premise alone could make me buy a book. Second the little multiple choice teaser question on the back was creative, new, and well funny. So, I figured what the hell. And then there is the whole idea of partying with rich-folk, the idea of a glimpse into the celebrity life, lots of fashion and money and snooty attitudes that will eventually have to work their asses off? Well, a hook that had me wanting to read the book.

For curious minds, here's the little ole' marketing question that was creative enough to have by buy the thing:
The story of a Yale University graduate who tutors the most hard-partying twins in Palm Beach is:

(a) a hot, sexy, laugh-out-loud romp of a read
(b) a makeover take full of fashion and fabulosity
(c) an insider's peek into the super-exclusive Palm Beach society
(d) all of the above
The official blurb:

Recent Yale graduate Megan Smith comes to Manhattan with big plans for a career in journalism and even bigger student loan debt: $75,000, to be exact. When she flails at a disastrous editorial meeting at her trashy tabloid job, Megan is called into the editor-in-chief's office certain that she's going to be fired. And she is. Sort of....

As it turns out, Megan's suddenly ex-boss is old friends with the grandmother of seventeen-year-old identical twins Rose and Sage Baker--the infamous Baker heiresses of Palm Beach, Florida, best known for their massive fortunes and their pension for drunkenly flashing the paparazzi. Their grandmother is set on the girls attending Duke University despite their combined GPA of roughly 0.2. And if Megan can tutor the girls and get them into Duke, their grandmother will pay off Megan's college loans in full.

Unfortunately for Megan, the Baker twins aren't about to bend their busy social schedules for basic algebra. And they certainly aren't thrilled to have to sit down for a study session with dowdy Megan, who quickly discovers that if she's going to get her bonus, she'll have to know her Pucci from her Prada. And if she can look the part, maybe, just maybe, she can teach them something along the way.

Number it is to be read? Likely number 5 or 6. Needless to say, there are a few ahead of it in the to-be-read pile.

SECOND CHANCE by Jane Green
First, I loved the cover. The hardcover's green, glimmery thing with white letters and a hint of pink? Loved it. Right up my alley and had my fingering the cover like a thief on diamonds. Secondly, it's Jane Green. I love Jane Green, her books, her style. And well, I want to be just like her. So, of course it makes a great book purchase choice this month! Oh and the book is about 30-somethings. Married. Some suburbanites. Some city folk. All making a go of life after a tragedy shocks them all. How do school friends reconnect after a loss? Well, we gotta read the book to find out. Again, my kinda book.

Official blurb:
Green tells the story of a group of people who haven’t seen each other since they were best friends at school. When one of them dies in a terrible tragedy, the reunited friends work through their grief together and find that each of their lives is impacted in ways they could have never foreseen. Warm, witty, and as wise as ever, this is a story of friendship, of family, and of life coming full circle.
Read order: after RICH GIRLS (for no particular reason than that it is the order I purchased them in).

AGNES & THE HITMAN by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer
Simply put--I read DON'T LOOK DOWN the first book collaboration for the pair of authors and loved it. I knew this one would be a fun ride as well. And, well, I like Jenny. So, it gets two gold stars already. I might also admits that I am a bit of a groupie (cherry bomb is the official title) and follow the joint blog that twitters on about writing and collaboration here. Love those two. Makes for a funny dynamic in real life and a great read in their books.

Official blurb (again):
Take one food writer named Cranky Agnes, add a hitman named Shane, mix them together with a Southern mob wedding, a missing necklace, two annoyed flamingos, and a dog named Rhett and you’ve got a recipe for a sexy, hilarious novel about the disastrous side of true love…

Agnes Crandall’s life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she’s staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane, no last name, just Shane, and he has his own problems: he’s got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex-mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes. When he finds out that Agnes isn’t so little, his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes’s house, and his last hit was a miss, Shane’s life isn’t looking so good, either. Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hit men show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with intent to throw more than rice. Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and—most dangerous of all—each other. Agnes and the Hitman is the perfect combination of sugar and spice, sweet and salty—a novel of delicious proportions.
Again, will likely be read after Green's book out of pure purchase order. Because, well, you have to start somewhere.

If you want to join the 3-books a month club too--join in the fun. Tell me what you bought and why... oh and stop on by Melanie's place and tell her too!

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