And so it begins

Friday, June 20, 2008 by Bethany

"I kid Mom, I kid."

This from The Kiddo, in reference to a joke he shared with his sister. A private joke. I don't know how much a 5-year-old and almost 10-month-old can share yet, but let me tell you--she found it hilarious.

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12:14 PM | | 0 comments

It's a Dirty Job But Someone's Gotta Do It

Saturday, June 14, 2008 by Bethany

"Mom? I need your help," The Kidd calls from the bathroom, "I just went poop and I need you to wipe."

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11:08 PM | | 1 comments

The Kiddo Explaining Things to His Baby Sister

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 by Bethany

"... and in museums they hang pictures of DEAD people."

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7:21 PM | | 0 comments

When Did the Magic Stop Being Magic

Sunday, April 06, 2008 by Bethany

Last week I found myself in a disappointing conversation with The Kiddo. Apparently, Super Heroes don't exist. "Mo-om! They aren't real," he laughs as if I'd been hideously childish for a thirty-something year old.

Damn. I was hoping I could get a hold of Wonder Woman. She's got great, think, lustrous hair. I wanted her secret for such great looking locks. Not to mention Hawk Girl's biceps (or abs). There must be some girl super hero work out that can help with the waist line... dontcha think?

Honestly, I was thinking this conversation wouldn't happen until he was eight. Or maybe eighteen. Losing the magic in childhood is just plain disappointing. And there is too many magic-less parts about being an adult. Keeping the super heroes alive, meant he was still dreaming big thoughts. Reality set in--and all the crap that goes along with it.

Then again, maybe it's just the realization that we can't fly like Superman. Because, you know, The Chipmunks (Alvin--his favorite, Simon, and Theodore ) are real. They have CD of their music out to buy (and "Mom, I really, really, really want it. I know all the words!"). Didn't I know?

I'm thinking this calls for the JLB (Justice League Band) to hit the streets pronto. Seeing Batman front and center could call for a girls' night out in my book. And anything would be better than that high-pitched singing. It hasn't gotten any better than it was in the 80s.

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4:15 PM | | 0 comments

Guaranteed to Never Lose

Monday, March 03, 2008 by Bethany

"Mom! Look, I'm making every character Darth Vader*."

The Kiddo points to the television. It's got the Wii Sports Tennis set-up screen waiting for input. The Miis on my son's team are conveniently Darth Vader and so is the other doubles team.

"Now if I win as me, then I win. If the other team wins. Well, I win too. Darth always wins!"

Nice reasoning. I tend to want to stack these odds myself most days.

*There is this fun little thing on the Wii where people with a ton more time and creative skills than I create "famous" Miis. This is where we pimped Mr. Vader. And Batman. Charlie Brown. Hello Kitty... and a handful of others. Made my son's day. Except of course, there is no cape on Darth or Batman. Here that Nintendo? Get your act together.

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11:45 AM | | 0 comments

Kisses, Mothers, & All Things Nice

Friday, February 22, 2008 by Bethany

I snuck a kiss on my son's cheek this afternoon while he was engrossed in an afternoon viewing of Wow! Wow! Wubzzy! and he instantly grinned.

"I'll take those while I can," I mused more to myself than The Kiddo.

He looked puzzled.

I chuckled and pulled him onto my lap--thankful I could still do that with my 5-years-old. His lanky tall frame still let me hold my first "baby" and I'd take that chance every time I got. Time was running short.

"When you get older, you'll probably not want me to do that anymore," I shared remembering that I was about 9 when my dad planted a kiss on my cheek and I blushed. My pre-pubescent friends were over and for some reason I felt childish. Yeah. At 9. Imagine that.

"Why not? Moms are supposed to kiss their kids." His eyes were wide and doe looking. He was clearly perplexed.

"We sure are," I kissed him again, "But when you get older you might be embarrassed that I would give you kisses."

He shook his head no and I laughed. Again.

"But I'll always want your kisses Mom. They make me feel warm inside."

"Me too," was all I could muster before giving him yet another kiss on his cheek. I'd say I have another two years at tops. I figure this conversation is one to keep for prosperity. And to look back on with a glass of wine and a few tears.

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9:00 PM | | 1 comments

Preschool Charmer

Thursday, February 14, 2008 by Bethany

Watch out ladies, here comes The Kiddo! He's been planning and drawing and coloring and stickering, and making sure his Valentine's are just right, just for you. And the other 12 boys in his class.

Nope, he doesn't discriminate when it comes to the perfect Valentine's Day card. Or apparently skipping over this holiday. Hallmark (or commercial) made, he doesn't care. He's all about showing his love. So, don't ruin it for him. I think it's cute. I've gotten 4 cards already this morning. And you bet your bottom, I'm saving every one for when he's 16 and wooing the girl next door.

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12:25 PM | | 0 comments

Tell me this doesn't break your heart into a million pieces

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 by Bethany

Last night I was asleep. Deep sleep. As in, dark everywhere, deep breathing, no one awake in the house but our one cat who's the night owl. Sleeping, dreaming... until, I felt a small hand patting my cheek. Oblivious, I probably kept sleeping, but the warm hand kept petting my cheek over and over (and over again). Finally, I stirred enough to wake. But only to lift one eyelid.

I am looking straight into my almost 6-month-old daughter's face. She's grinning.

Her little hand, moves from my face and begins patting my chest. This is the baby sign to nurse. So we do. No sooner does she finish up, she falls back asleep.

She's a smart one isn't she?

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10:48 AM | | 1 comments

Nothin' but a Sleep Thang

Thursday, January 31, 2008 by Bethany

On less than four hours of sleep, there are few things that amuse me. But, my 5-year-old son dancing naked in my bathroom, humming some made up song, while brushing his teeth... um, yeah. That would do it.

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7:47 AM | | 0 comments

Either that is a Shoe Store in my Closet or I have too many shoes

Thursday, January 03, 2008 by Bethany

This morning, while waking the children for the beginning of Bringing First Child to Pre-School and Getting My Ass Back into the Swing of What we Call Working from Home with Second Child, we had a little fun. Or should I say, The Kiddo had some fun.

"Mom! Mom! Look! There is a Shoe Store behind you!"

Grinning, I take a sly look over my shoulder, "There is?"

"Gotcha!" He scrambles off the bed to get dressed.

I think I own too many shoes.

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9:06 AM | | 0 comments

You Break My Heart

Monday, December 17, 2007 by Bethany

Ways in which my son told me he was disappointed that we could not attend his holiday singing extravaganza on Friday when The Peanut fell ill with a nasty virus:
  • ran off to his room, shut the door, and wailed almost louder than the sick infant that I was patting and rocking on my shoulder
  • tore up approximately 10 sheets of paper with drawn hearts on them. To illustrate that I was breaking his heart. This "breaking apart" demonstration, of course, was done right in front of me with a little flare on the tearing part.
  • when mom (as in me), was becoming more and more visibly unresponsive to the breaking of the hearts on paper, he switched to drawing these same hearts on his Leapfrog screen and Xing the hearts out.
  • And then he added in pictures of himself crying
  • Or stick figures with Xs.
  • Any other combination of the above, with sad, droopy, and teary face
Yes, all of these forms of expression did break my heart into pieces. Particularly the tearing of the hearts. And especially since by then I'd had a feverish 3-month old wailing on my shoulder for over 3 hours that was completely and utterly inconsolable.

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12:44 PM | | 1 comments

All of the Remembers

Sunday, October 28, 2007 by Bethany

"Do you have remembers Mom? Like when we went to Grandma and Grandpa's house last year for Halloween. I have great remembers."

I think he means memories. But I am thinking "remembers" are definitely more memorable.

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2:37 PM | | 0 comments

12 Words a Mom Just Loves to Hear (MB #3)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 by Bethany

"My tummy hurts. I feel like I am going to throw up."

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4:21 PM | | 0 comments

Kid Wittism (to Unborn Babe)

Wednesday, August 08, 2007 by Bethany

"Mom, the baby likes soft voices. Ones that say I love you."

In a hushed tone, "I love you baby sister."

I melted somewhere between 'baby' and 'love.' How 'bout you?

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9:03 PM | | 0 comments

Deep Breaths and Cheap Thoughts

Wednesday, August 01, 2007 by Bethany

Or maybe not so much. There will at least be thoughts. My Weekend, in bullets.

  • Had a fabulous Friday. Honestly. Who can say they went to see Toad the Wet Sprocket at the Lincoln Park Zoo when they are 8 months pregnant? Me, that's who! And if it weren't for my ever-protruding belly and swelling ankles (and citing at least 4 other expecting mothers within eyesight) in the 2 hours we were there, I'd think I was back in college enjoying the limelight of my life. Seriously. It was great fun. Glenn Phillips "opening" for Toad and cool weather from the lake, well, I was in a bit of a delirious haze of "living the dream of my life."

    Until the chic to the right of us decided to screen incessantly about her attendance at 12 concerts in her lifetime and number 1 fan status. And the fact that in Houston when she saw Toad the Wet Sprocket play she could name each song within the first chord. And then proceeded to attempt doing the same here... only now 12 years later. Disturbing the entire crowd around her--and the poor man sitting in a lawn chair right beneath her bellowing voice. I mean, the rest of us were there to enjoy the concert.

    At least until the guy in front of us got all huffy for our singing voices. See, he paid full price for tickets (like we did) to hear Toad (well spent). Only he thought it a better use of his time to stand up and read the latest (and final) Harry Potter installment--obstructing the entire back third of the audiences' view. you know, so he could squint in the small street lamp light and read. DURING a concert. To which... well, I don't know. If you're going to take a novel to a concert, you might want to sit somewhere out of the way, while the rest of us enjoy the show. That's why we bought tickets right?

  • Philosophizing with my son is one my favorite things to do right now. Did you know that a 4 and a half year old can ask questions that floor you? Because, let me tell you, my kid is a genius. Or at least curious. Latest comments for your enjoyment:

    "The baby does NOT eat food through its belly button. That is just silly."

    "If I didn't exist before I was born, why am I here? I didn't ask to exist."

    "Having a baby is hard work. I can't do anything because Mom can't do anything."

    "After I'm done with college, please don't make me leave home. I like home. I want to always stay here."

  • Making breakfast at Noon. The story of my weekends lately. Can you believe my kid can actually get his own Trix cereal from the pantry and pour himself some milk? I must truly be the laziest parent on the planet right now.

  • Spending Sunday in my pajamas and babysitting? Well the pajama part was fabulous. In fact, I think I need to make it a ritual. The babysitting not so much. Though worked enough for me once I got the 18 month old to sleep. The husband took our kiddo and the other to the park for an hour. So I had an hour to myself. Which, again, takes the cake.
Another weekend, another week. And now another day. If only every weekend was so eventful. Or maybe not. This baby I'm carrying is getting a bit heavy.

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10:42 AM | | 0 comments

No Baby Talk

Monday, May 21, 2007 by Bethany

"I don't want you to have the baby mom."

What? Did my beloved child just dis the coming child? Oh. My. God. I think my heart just plummeted below the pit of my stomach into the dire straights of my callused heels.

"Why?" Honestly, it was all I could udder/choke/cry before I searched the house for someone else to hear the answer.

"Because you can't go on carnival rides with me. And I want you to go on the roller coasters and spinning rides. The baby won't let you. And that makes me mad."

And it makes me want to laugh. Almost. Until I realize how serious this is for the kiddo. Fun, toys, rides, carnivals, and friends are his life. One that I had to tell him I couldn't join this weekend because of the baby. And all you parents out there know--when the new little one does join us, well, I'll be saying that statement again. I am sure. And boy--it is going to kill some of the good vibes for the kiddo isn't it?

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7:49 PM | | 0 comments

Crack me up Wednesday

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 by Bethany

"I need my drum! I need my drum!"
...
...

"My foot fell asleep and I need to wake it up."

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6:27 PM | | 0 comments

Just what you want to hear while on a conference call

Monday, April 23, 2007 by Bethany

"Mom, can you check this itchy spot on my butt?"

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10:48 AM | | 0 comments

Playin' Hooky

Monday, March 26, 2007 by Bethany

Can you play hooky from work? Would it be as much fun? I mean, somehow, calling in for a personal day on the morning of, still doesn't seem as fun as faking it, does it?

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4:13 PM | | 0 comments

Who knew?

Monday, March 12, 2007 by Bethany

"I broke my skeleton," the kid flops out his right arm as if someone had removed it from the shoulder socket, "See? It doesn't work anymore."

Stifling laughter for a bit of sincerity I ask, "What happened?"

"The video game. It really broke my arm. And I can't use it anymore."

Now normally his sobbing would have me heartbroken. This time, I had to do everything in my power to maintain control over my ever-increasing urge to laugh.

Video games can break arms--or skeletons--who knew?

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11:50 PM | | 0 comments

Reminicing

Thursday, January 18, 2007 by Bethany

"I had a snow fight with the fence today."
"At school?"
"Yup."

"Who won?"

"The fence."

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10:15 PM | | 0 comments

Kid Wittisms

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 by Bethany

The kid's catching on to the whole idle chit chat. And I'm not so sure it is a good thing. Take a look for yourself:

"Mom?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"What did you do at work t'day?"

"Talked to a bunch of people on the phone."

"Didju like them?"

"Suuure." Where is he really going with this?

"Didju do anythin' else?"

"I finished writing a book--something called a user guide--and sent it to some of those people on the phone."

"On your 'puter?"

What is this kid? Some sort of corporate spawn?

"Yes. Using something called e-mail."

"Was it fun?"

"If you want to call it that sure."

Kid ponders for a moment.

"How 'bout meeting. Didju have meeting?"

"Yes. I did actually. Two of them."

He nods quickly, "I like meeting. I meet friends at school every day."

Yeah. If he only knew.

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9:28 PM | | 0 comments