Only another mother would understand.
It's a normal afternoon around here. The phone rings. It's the estate lawyer. A new contact in the family to deal with all our estate matters (as in will, trust, all things we hate to think about. We just had 2 deaths in the family, sue us. We are thinking about all this crap).
So, The Lawyer and I begin discussing our initial consultation. It's all good. That is, until the baby in my lap starts rooting to nurse. Shuffling phone from ear to shoulder, to baby lying across lap and getting ready to nurse--the sick 5-year-old rushes to the bathroom and pukes. Not normal puke. But power pukes. And I hear splattering from my spot on the couch. Apparently so does the lawyer.
But hey, the kid screams, "I'm okay mom!" and the baby finally gets situated and nurses. Sensing his cue, The Lawyer continues on as if it's all normal. And really, I guess it is. For a mom.
So, The Lawyer and I begin discussing our initial consultation. It's all good. That is, until the baby in my lap starts rooting to nurse. Shuffling phone from ear to shoulder, to baby lying across lap and getting ready to nurse--the sick 5-year-old rushes to the bathroom and pukes. Not normal puke. But power pukes. And I hear splattering from my spot on the couch. Apparently so does the lawyer.
But hey, the kid screams, "I'm okay mom!" and the baby finally gets situated and nurses. Sensing his cue, The Lawyer continues on as if it's all normal. And really, I guess it is. For a mom.
Labels: fun, me, motherhood, parenting
Either that is a Shoe Store in my Closet or I have too many shoes
This morning, while waking the children for the beginning of Bringing First Child to Pre-School and Getting My Ass Back into the Swing of What we Call Working from Home with Second Child, we had a little fun. Or should I say, The Kiddo had some fun.
"Mom! Mom! Look! There is a Shoe Store behind you!"
Grinning, I take a sly look over my shoulder, "There is?"
"Gotcha!" He scrambles off the bed to get dressed.
I think I own too many shoes.
"Mom! Mom! Look! There is a Shoe Store behind you!"
Grinning, I take a sly look over my shoulder, "There is?"
"Gotcha!" He scrambles off the bed to get dressed.
I think I own too many shoes.
Labels: fun, kid wittisms
Parental Guidance Suggested
The rating itself isn't that funny--I mean, it is actually probably quite accurate. But the reasoning for the rating? Well that is hilarious. Apparently the presence of the word Hell (three times) and zombie (once) constitutes parental guidance. I wonder how many times I need to say fuck to get me to an R-rating?
[you know I am kidding right? I mean, I wouldn't swear needlessly just for a more severe parental rating. Would I?]
A Widget and a Smile
Some Haunts
In the past few months, I've found a few haunts on the web that have sucked away at my time.
The first, if you haven't heard of it yet, you are really stuck under a rock, it is Twitter. It is a short form of blogging--and you have friends and followers, and well, it is based on a simple question: What are you Doing? Answer it, and you have created your first Tweet. If you're interested, sign up here. And add me as a follower (bethanyh).
Now the other. This one consumes even MORE time. POSH Mama. It's for girls only (sorry guys) and a social network for moms (mostly, but you can join if you aren't a mom!). It talks about fashion, fun crafty things, all things children, and of course lets you find a network of mothers with similar interests. Join in discussions and groups, and leave a note on comment walls. But, I'd be lying if I didn't say there was some self-promotion involved here. I was asked my Posh Mama herself to help out--my book reviews are being featured weekly on Fridays. So, if this is up your alley, feel free to stop on by and sign up yourself. Let 'em know I sent you... and of course enjoy the great haute mamas!
Oh, and I can't forget LoveOfReading.com. Seriously, it is a great combination of sharing good books with readers and promoting authors. You can enter book raffles, read author blogs, listen to author interviews, read book excerpts, read reviews, and take part in an online book fair! I love book fairs--I was the kid in high school that had to trim down her pile of books before she could purchase them when the book fair hit our local library (and school library). I am totally in love with the idea of an online book fair. So please stop by the site between November 14 and 16 from 10am - 8pm EST. I'll love you for it!
The first, if you haven't heard of it yet, you are really stuck under a rock, it is Twitter. It is a short form of blogging--and you have friends and followers, and well, it is based on a simple question: What are you Doing? Answer it, and you have created your first Tweet. If you're interested, sign up here. And add me as a follower (bethanyh).Now the other. This one consumes even MORE time. POSH Mama. It's for girls only (sorry guys) and a social network for moms (mostly, but you can join if you aren't a mom!). It talks about fashion, fun crafty things, all things children, and of course lets you find a network of mothers with similar interests. Join in discussions and groups, and leave a note on comment walls. But, I'd be lying if I didn't say there was some self-promotion involved here. I was asked my Posh Mama herself to help out--my book reviews are being featured weekly on Fridays. So, if this is up your alley, feel free to stop on by and sign up yourself. Let 'em know I sent you... and of course enjoy the great haute mamas!Oh, and I can't forget LoveOfReading.com. Seriously, it is a great combination of sharing good books with readers and promoting authors. You can enter book raffles, read author blogs, listen to author interviews, read book excerpts, read reviews, and take part in an online book fair! I love book fairs--I was the kid in high school that had to trim down her pile of books before she could purchase them when the book fair hit our local library (and school library). I am totally in love with the idea of an online book fair. So please stop by the site between November 14 and 16 from 10am - 8pm EST. I'll love you for it!
What would you do if you won the lottery?
Last night I became quickly enchanted with a special series on TLC, Lottery Changed My Life. I'm already a junkie for Flip That House and various other home improvement shows (buying and selling a home creates this obsession. Too bad my brain hasn't caught up on the fact that we are no longer selling OR buying a home. But I digress). And last night, it just so happens as I was fixing dinner, Flip That House was on and was followed by this Lottery show. The show centered on what happens AFTER you win the lottery.
It interviewed all these people that (obviously) won the lottery and what they did with the cash. Interviewed were about 4 or 5 winners... age range from 21 to 65 or so. And what did I learn? Some people spend like mad and some don't. Which leads to our dinner conversation last night-- if you won the lottery, what would you spend the money on?
My husband was all about getting a fun 1970s vintage Ford Mustang for driving in the summer and maybe a BMX or Audi for everyday driving. I was all for just getting a bigger vehicle to card the kids and dog around (Mazda CX-9). But after that, we had the same vision. Likely live in the same house and do all the 100s of improvements we've envisioned here. And then we'd invest in additional real estate--but not new.
We'd look into finding a home on Lake Michigan here. Likely an older home that needs a lot of work--of which we'd have the cash to fix it up the way we'd like. And then we'd turn to a downtown brick commercial building. Or an old theater (there are a couple in town here). The plan would be the same, restore, rebuild, and likely make a loft up top of that building for our residence (we are fascinated with lofts). Would we sell some of this property? Maybe. And we'd likely rent. We'd mainly just enjoy creating spaces we love (which we do in every home we've lived in).
Which then brought on another little dilemma... with all this money, well, how would we keep our family at bay. Because as we know, once the world finds out you have money, they suddenly have a need for something. Or likely will try to become your new best friend. Not that we wouldn't share--it was decided we would give each CLOSE family member (as in immediate family members) a gift. That gift would be what they need most. That might be paying off a mortgage, buying a car, or a modest home, etc. This discussion then led to another one--what if you won the lottery and decided to stay anonymous. Meaning, live life pretty much as you do now.
This solution to winning the lottery was not only appealing--it was a fascinating subject. No one would know you had money. Lots of money. Would you keep your job? Both the husband and I agreed. No, we'd quit. But how would we explain a car purchase? Or say the purchase of a home near the lake to fix up. How could we afford that? We'd need a cover story. Mine was easy--freelance writer. I do some of that now. And technical manuals are an easy one to claim as my own, since, well, no one reads them. The husband's cover? Freelance web and graphic design. His own business (something he as always wanted to do anyway--and would with lottery money, so this was no stretch. And not such a cover story after he created the company would it?). Now it would appear that we were earning income (aside from a hidden lottery).
Sure people might talk that we are over-spending. Or wonder how successful we really are. But, it would at least curb our spending. We could keep a normal life, but still do some of the things we dreamed of (travel, fix up our home, live a comfortable life). And not spend too much of a good thing (and our kids would have college money and likely enough moolah to keep them comfortable for a while in life). In fact, this sounds so damn appealing--because honestly the publicity and headaches of family asking for money and comparing notes--we decided hell, it would be the way to go.
So, I have to go. It is time to go buy a lottery ticket.
It interviewed all these people that (obviously) won the lottery and what they did with the cash. Interviewed were about 4 or 5 winners... age range from 21 to 65 or so. And what did I learn? Some people spend like mad and some don't. Which leads to our dinner conversation last night-- if you won the lottery, what would you spend the money on?
My husband was all about getting a fun 1970s vintage Ford Mustang for driving in the summer and maybe a BMX or Audi for everyday driving. I was all for just getting a bigger vehicle to card the kids and dog around (Mazda CX-9). But after that, we had the same vision. Likely live in the same house and do all the 100s of improvements we've envisioned here. And then we'd invest in additional real estate--but not new.
We'd look into finding a home on Lake Michigan here. Likely an older home that needs a lot of work--of which we'd have the cash to fix it up the way we'd like. And then we'd turn to a downtown brick commercial building. Or an old theater (there are a couple in town here). The plan would be the same, restore, rebuild, and likely make a loft up top of that building for our residence (we are fascinated with lofts). Would we sell some of this property? Maybe. And we'd likely rent. We'd mainly just enjoy creating spaces we love (which we do in every home we've lived in).
Which then brought on another little dilemma... with all this money, well, how would we keep our family at bay. Because as we know, once the world finds out you have money, they suddenly have a need for something. Or likely will try to become your new best friend. Not that we wouldn't share--it was decided we would give each CLOSE family member (as in immediate family members) a gift. That gift would be what they need most. That might be paying off a mortgage, buying a car, or a modest home, etc. This discussion then led to another one--what if you won the lottery and decided to stay anonymous. Meaning, live life pretty much as you do now.
This solution to winning the lottery was not only appealing--it was a fascinating subject. No one would know you had money. Lots of money. Would you keep your job? Both the husband and I agreed. No, we'd quit. But how would we explain a car purchase? Or say the purchase of a home near the lake to fix up. How could we afford that? We'd need a cover story. Mine was easy--freelance writer. I do some of that now. And technical manuals are an easy one to claim as my own, since, well, no one reads them. The husband's cover? Freelance web and graphic design. His own business (something he as always wanted to do anyway--and would with lottery money, so this was no stretch. And not such a cover story after he created the company would it?). Now it would appear that we were earning income (aside from a hidden lottery).
Sure people might talk that we are over-spending. Or wonder how successful we really are. But, it would at least curb our spending. We could keep a normal life, but still do some of the things we dreamed of (travel, fix up our home, live a comfortable life). And not spend too much of a good thing (and our kids would have college money and likely enough moolah to keep them comfortable for a while in life). In fact, this sounds so damn appealing--because honestly the publicity and headaches of family asking for money and comparing notes--we decided hell, it would be the way to go.
So, I have to go. It is time to go buy a lottery ticket.
