Topless on a Conference Call
This isn't a set-up for a porn flick. That would be more--dare I say it--titillating than reality. I am a Most of the Time Work at Home mom with a nursing baby. Me sitting with my top off, nursing bra half open, and infant across my lap? Not that unusual a sight for anyone peeping into my bedroom window (not that there is anything to look at). But it does bring up, my latest dilemma: clothing choices for Going Into The Office Days.
When I work from home, I am the classic suburban mom. Hoodie, sweatpants, t-shirt, and if I'm feeling a bit sexy, I'll toss the sweats for some capris to show a little leg (or "cankle" as John Madden would put it). I know this conjures up a whole swirl of hottie-ness for you doesn't it? If it doesn't make you throw up.
Anyway, today was a different day. I went into the office. As much as that sounds normal, it is one of the first days I've ventured back in since the birth of babe 2 (after an adventurous holiday season, it is likely about damn time). This isn't that much of a feat, until you think about what my closet looked like. A sea of maternity clothes that hadn't been touched in 5 months, sweatpants that are stretched every which way but sideways, and all my pre-pregnancy clothes that I couldn't pry myself into if I'd starved over the last month. What's a woman to do?
It's after 9pm on a Tuesday night, it's not like Target is open 24 hours. The only other choice is Wal-Mart. Although the hours are better, it doesn't do a lot for style. And style is the one thing I want to have--it'll distract from the pudginess. And the fact that I'm still sporting red hair. Really red hair that's a bit of a shocker if you hadn't been warned.
In an effort to remain calm (at least on the outside), I decided a bit of cleaning was in order. If I wasn't going to wear these clothes in the near future, it was time to dump 'em. Quite literally. With an opened black, industrial leaf garbage bag, I took my arm and shoved the stack of maternity shirts, capris, and dress pants in first. I'd treated myself to the trendy Liz Lange fashions, and unfortunately, if another pregnancy is in my future, well the cute peasant shirts will likely be outta style by then.
Next I dropped the pre-preggo crap in too. Fourteen-month-old fake vintage Ts with worn armpits are definitely not coming back into style. And fitting into that size jean again? Well it is depressing to even think how hard I'd have to try to get back to that shape. So I'll just buy a new pair. The pre-worn, washed over 200 times look isn't that cool is it?
Last season's sweaters were tossed. The handful of blazer/jacket things I layered with suddenly looked old. And of course the good ole business casual button up blouses were thrown in for good measure as well. If it sounds like I didn't have much of a closet left of clothes left--it would be accurate of what the shelves looked like. Except for the t-shirts, hoddies, and sweatpants that is. And I still had to go into the office.
I was desperate. As a woman with dignity, and style, I just had to look good for the first day back. Even if I had barely 4 hours of sleep and was worried sick about the baby who doesn't like bottles. So, I got a little creative. I turned around to the "other" side of the closet. The husband's side. His offerings faired a bit better... at least to my tear blurred eyes.
Dark-washed jeans. Check. A white thin-like long-sleeve T-shirt. Check. And a sweater I had mis-placed and hadn't gotten thrown away. A cool sweater. With large buttons and length to cover my ass and thighs. A wide collar. It would look perfect with those tall, heeled boots I was gifted with for Christmas. And within moments, I was styled. With the only acceptable clothes in the closet.
Next week it will be a bit more challenging. But then again, I've got time. A credit card. And a ton of empty shelves. Now all I have to do, is get over my dismay of fitting rooms and mirrors.
When I work from home, I am the classic suburban mom. Hoodie, sweatpants, t-shirt, and if I'm feeling a bit sexy, I'll toss the sweats for some capris to show a little leg (or "cankle" as John Madden would put it). I know this conjures up a whole swirl of hottie-ness for you doesn't it? If it doesn't make you throw up.
Anyway, today was a different day. I went into the office. As much as that sounds normal, it is one of the first days I've ventured back in since the birth of babe 2 (after an adventurous holiday season, it is likely about damn time). This isn't that much of a feat, until you think about what my closet looked like. A sea of maternity clothes that hadn't been touched in 5 months, sweatpants that are stretched every which way but sideways, and all my pre-pregnancy clothes that I couldn't pry myself into if I'd starved over the last month. What's a woman to do?
It's after 9pm on a Tuesday night, it's not like Target is open 24 hours. The only other choice is Wal-Mart. Although the hours are better, it doesn't do a lot for style. And style is the one thing I want to have--it'll distract from the pudginess. And the fact that I'm still sporting red hair. Really red hair that's a bit of a shocker if you hadn't been warned.
In an effort to remain calm (at least on the outside), I decided a bit of cleaning was in order. If I wasn't going to wear these clothes in the near future, it was time to dump 'em. Quite literally. With an opened black, industrial leaf garbage bag, I took my arm and shoved the stack of maternity shirts, capris, and dress pants in first. I'd treated myself to the trendy Liz Lange fashions, and unfortunately, if another pregnancy is in my future, well the cute peasant shirts will likely be outta style by then.
Next I dropped the pre-preggo crap in too. Fourteen-month-old fake vintage Ts with worn armpits are definitely not coming back into style. And fitting into that size jean again? Well it is depressing to even think how hard I'd have to try to get back to that shape. So I'll just buy a new pair. The pre-worn, washed over 200 times look isn't that cool is it?
Last season's sweaters were tossed. The handful of blazer/jacket things I layered with suddenly looked old. And of course the good ole business casual button up blouses were thrown in for good measure as well. If it sounds like I didn't have much of a closet left of clothes left--it would be accurate of what the shelves looked like. Except for the t-shirts, hoddies, and sweatpants that is. And I still had to go into the office.
I was desperate. As a woman with dignity, and style, I just had to look good for the first day back. Even if I had barely 4 hours of sleep and was worried sick about the baby who doesn't like bottles. So, I got a little creative. I turned around to the "other" side of the closet. The husband's side. His offerings faired a bit better... at least to my tear blurred eyes.
Dark-washed jeans. Check. A white thin-like long-sleeve T-shirt. Check. And a sweater I had mis-placed and hadn't gotten thrown away. A cool sweater. With large buttons and length to cover my ass and thighs. A wide collar. It would look perfect with those tall, heeled boots I was gifted with for Christmas. And within moments, I was styled. With the only acceptable clothes in the closet.
Next week it will be a bit more challenging. But then again, I've got time. A credit card. And a ton of empty shelves. Now all I have to do, is get over my dismay of fitting rooms and mirrors.
