Paperback releases and GRETA

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 by Bethany

So, two things today that I need to mention:


I reviewed Allison Winn Scotch's book THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND way back when (here in case you want to read it again). It's a great book. And she's a wonderful person. If you didn't want to shell out the cash for the hardcover, her book came out this week in paperback. Go buy yourself a copy! Oh and don't freak out, they did indeed change the cover for paperback!







Secondly, I'm pimping my own writing this week. Again.

LIFE OF GRETA, Chapter 3 (Adventure Here I Come!) is up at Hybrid Mom. Help an as-yet unpublished author get some attention, will ya! All it takes is your time to read the latest--and comment. Hell, if you comment this week, I'll mold a character after you! Come on... I know you want to. Join the fun here! (oh and don't fret if you haven't read thus far, read from the beginning here).

Was that enough promotion for you? I'm all about writing, helping authors, and well, showing off my own work. Work with me!

Labels: , , , , ,

7:08 PM | | 1 comments

Book Review: THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND by Allison Winn Scotch

Monday, February 11, 2008 by Bethany


Cancer sucks. No matter what the form--colon, lung, prostate--it is a definite buzz kill in any conversation. And completely a downer when "it happens" to someone you love. Which is exactly what happened to Allison Winn Scotch, the author of THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND.

Although the book is far from autobiographical or memoir, it is in honor of a close friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. And the book itself? Completely compassionate, honest, raw--and well, a real look at what it would be like to be young and diagnosed with the big C.

The book follows Natalie Miller from the day her very normal (if not hectic) life as a top political aide for a New York senator and girlfriend of a gorgeous boyfriend gets turned around. The boyfriend dumps her, the doctor finds cancer, the job she'd given her life too suddenly takes a turn for the worse, and she finds herself addicted to the Price is Right on her couch in her darkened apartment.

But don't think this book is a downer. Far from it. Natalie is a fighter. And one determined to figure out where it all went wrong. She fights back from the stares at work when she does venture in to help the "good" senator out and back into her past when she looks at her last 5 boyfriends. For old times sake. And sanity sake. Natalie's personality alone makes this book. She's headstrong. Vivacious. And plain determined to beat the cancer right out of her. Even if she is in a bit of a depression (I mean, who wouldn't be).

We get a dose of the real Natalie by way of her diary at the beginning of each chapter. And those entries and full of honesty, fear, and courage. Outwardly she puts on a face--but the truth behind that face is a wonderfully afraid person doing the best they can.

The book is full of jovial fun, as well as every day nonsense that keeps you laughing, even in the face of cancer. And having Natalie go down the path of past loves of her life? Well, makes you love her even more. Don't be afraid of the heavy subject matter here, Allison does a wonderful thing as an author, you laugh through a bit of tears, but come out the other end smiling. Beautifully written and a wonderful tribute to a friend.

Here's the official blurb for the book from Allison's web site:
It didn’t start out as the worst day of Natalie Miller’s life. At thirty, she is moving up the political ladder, driven by raw ambition and ruthless determination. As the top aide to New York’s powerful female senator, she works hard, stays late, and enjoys every bit of it, even if the bills she’s pushing through do little to improve the lives of the senator’s constituents. And if her boyfriend isn’t the sexiest guy alive, at least he’s a warm body to come home to.

Then he announces he’s leaving. But that news is barely a blip compared to what Natalie’s doctor tells her: She has breast cancer. And she can’t cure it by merely being headstrong. Now the life Natalie must change is her own.

All her energy, what little of it she has left, must go into saving herself from a merciless disease. So when she’s not lying on the sofa recovering from her treatments and indulging in a curious addiction to The Price Is Right, she realizes it’s time to take a hard look at her choices. She begins by tracking down the five loves-of-her-life to assess what went wrong. Along the way, she questions her relationships with her friends, her parents, her colleagues, the one who got away, and, most important, with herself: Why is she so busy moving through life that she never stops to embrace it?

As Natalie sleuths out the answers to these questions, her journey of self-discovery takes her down new paths and to unexplored places. And she learns that sometimes when life is at its most unexpected, it’s not what you lose that makes you who you are . . . it’s what you find.

And don't forget to check out this online fun:

- Allison Winn Scotch's Official Website
- Allison's Blog (lots of info for freelance and novel writers there!)
- An Interview with Allison
- Writers Unboxed Allison shares the limelight with a handful of other authors on this blog)
- Buy the book from Amazon

Labels: , , ,

9:15 PM | | 0 comments

BOOK REVIEW: CONFESSIONS OF A PREP SCHOOL MOMMY HANDLER by Wade Rouse

Thursday, January 31, 2008 by Bethany

I'm a sucker for a little dirt. You know, the insider track to the "behind the scenes" stuff. And Wade Rouse doesn't disappoint in CONFESSIONS OF A PREP SCHOOL MOMMY HANDLER his second memoir.

Sure, sure, he reminds us up front in the Author's Note that he's changed names, combined a few people into one, and even hidden the "real" name of the school he was the PR director for--for what seemed like a life sentence of hell. But still--there's dirt here. Plenty of dirt. And I couldn't put the book down, I was enthralled with this life that is very foreign to what I'd grown up in (as Wade too... he shares the rural upbringing with me).

It all starts in Wade's office at the prestigious, private school "Tate Academy" on the first day of school for the year with a few deep cleansing yoga breaths. That is until the phone rings and he's summoned to the Carpool Lane. I'll warn you now, it all goes down hill from this point. Wade was appointed to handle public relations for the school--but it's no secret his job is to deal with the mommies. In particular the high-profile, rich moms who he terms "Mean Mommies" (or M2s). Or course there are the "Pink Ice Barbies" too (these are the daughters of the M2s, and appropriately wear pink. Always. Just like their mothers. And are quite fond of whispering and the term "Oh. My. God!"

Of course, I can't forget the Queen of the M2s--"Kitsy" Ludington. The source of Wade's pain. And what pain it is! She orders, plays, befriends (sorta), teases, pushes, and well basically makes this poor man's life a living hell. Especially for a man who's gay and playing it straight (the tolerance policy at Tate is officially open, but unofficially, not so much). And that is just one twist in this really twisted tale of high society at a private school where there is more money floating around in clothing than I make in an entire year of working my ass off.

This book was extremely touching, real, and well written--remember it is a memoir. It's from the point of a man trying to make it into the "in crowd." Much like what I spent my entire childhood trying to do. And to be honest--like Wade--a lot of my adulthood and career pursuing as well. And he doesn't give up. Ever.

The book twists and turns through this weird lifestyle giving away not only the secrets of the rich (well, their image anyway) but also through a "coming out" for Wade. And by coming out, I mean, coming out of his shell to be the person he wants to be in his life. I gotta respect the man, it hadn't of been easy dealing with that crowd--gay, straight, man, woman, whatever denomination. It had me chuckling, gasping, and even shouting a few of my own "Oh. My. Gaaawwwwds!"

Here's the official teaser:

On the nights following the Monday Morning Muffins with Mommies, I typically have the same dream: I have come to Tate as a gay man. Passing as a straight man. Who works only with women. And gets abused by mothers. I dream that I write a Broadway play called The Stepford Wives: The Musical. I cast the play first with Barbie dolls, but they just stand there, motionless, staring at me, so I hold auditions, telling the auditioning actresses to pretend to be robotic imitations of real women who have actual hearts and souls and minds of their own. No one gets my concept. I then try and pitch it to movie executives. "It's Victor-Victoria meets The Nanny Diaries meets The Crying Game meets The Devil Wears Prada." I do not get backing for my project. I, do, however, wake up and get to go into work.

Fun hey? I was hooked too. Thanks Wade, for going into work. This book wouldn't have been born without it. [grin] Here's some more fun to check out before you go out and buy the book (or after):

- Wade Rouse's Website
- Wade's Blog
- Wade's MySpace Page
- An Excerpt of the book
- Buy the book from Amazon

Labels: , , ,

6:19 PM | | 0 comments

Waiting For Publication Is Hard To Do

Tuesday, October 23, 2007 by Bethany

Ain't that the truth. If you think waiting for your muse to strike you with the best novel idea ever (read evah)--well you are in for a huge surprise when and if you decide to publish that bestselling novel. Not only is the road to publication (whether novels, magazine articles, or a newspaper byline) long and twisty (finding contacts, submitting, revisions, and then of course deadlines)--it is painstakingly slow. Sure there are exceptions, but the bulk of us--wait a really long time to see our name in print under or labor of words.

Firs there is the writing the first draft. You love it. Cuddle (and coddle it). Treasure each and every word. Or if you are like me, painstakingly sit down almost every day and write with as much fever as possible (you never know when you'll get another minute). And that is if the muse is with you. If not, I still sit my ass down at the computer and try to write something (anything) to make it to the next day. Not only is that a long process, but when you try to reach near 300 pages--it can be grueling (not to mention daunting when you are on page 1).

But then the inevitable happens (well, if you are writing each and every time you can)--you finish the first draft. And boy, if you've never reached that point yet, let me tell you, it is the BEST high one can imagine. I would compare it to sex if my husband doesn't read the blog. Your work is complete. The hours, days, weeks of your time finally in form of a book.

For me, I was in the fiction writing closet for so long, I have a weird counter-action to it, wanting to share my writing immediately. I mean, right then when I type The End. Sure there is that one scene near page 45 that I didn't quite finish, but I have note right there that says what will happen then. And yes, I know the protagonists boyfriend's name changes half way through to James (because Jim was too informal). Believe me when I tell you, going back to only fix those little errors? It isn't enough. No one (and really there isn't) can write a decent first draft.

So what does one do (especially when they really--and I mean really--want to share and start jumping the agent/editor search, like now, since the idea is so HOT? You wait. Honestly, give yourself a break from the work. Some people say they can give it a week and revisit. For a novel, I can't do this. I have to wait a month (if I can). I've lived with these characters for months, I can't just forget them in a week. Hell, they are still talking to me, questioning some of what they did. Bothering me that I didn't represent them right on page 124 because they would never (and I mean never) say such a mean and snotty thing to their mother (but trust me, they did and do... it is called character remorse). But everyone is different. You need to leave the writing alone. Get it out of your head. Enjoy your family, the weather, some good old movies. Anything that can get your mind OUT of the book, for a change. And when that finally happens, then go back and start rereading with the critical eye. Rework, revise, revamp, and rewrite. It is the only way to polish your work.

For novels, it takes me a month or more to get a fresh perspective on the storyline and characters. For articles? Maybe a day or two. But that isn't what matters. Revisions make the writing better. I know that, you know that, we all know that. Hell, I taught that when I worked at The Writing Center in college. But, they really are damn hard to pull off. Especially write after you spent your blood and tears getting it on paper in the first place. But don't think otherwise -- you MUST rewrite. There is no other way. And rewrites--you guessed it--take time.

For me, about 4 rewrites (at least). My last novel that took 9 rewrites. And then another to top the cake (and now no one will read the thing). You'll know when it is of the caliber to show your prospective agent or editor. It will make you proud--you'll smile just thinking about. And criticism will slide off you back. Want to know why, you know that book is the way it is because you purposely wrote it that way--intentional and with entire abandon.

But don't let the importance of first readers go un-noticed. You need those too. The people you trust (not your husband or mother or sister) to read your out-of-the-gate first draft readers. Likely another author you trust to take a look and tell you if there is a real story in there somewhere. And those first readers? The minute you type The End, you sure as hell send them an e-mail--literally hot off the presses. Because that is what they are there for. And then wait for them to read it. (see? Waiting. The theme of this post).

Now onto my favorite topic, the agent/publisher search. This is where it gets even harder. Response times in publishing are slow. Really slow. You search for an agent, you get your top 10 list. And then your top 65. And if you are really still persistent a top 100 list. Then submit, following all the rules listed on the website, Writer's Marketplace books, or e-mail. And wait. As in weeks and weeks of waiting. Sure sometimes you get a fast response (by fast it is usually a week or two), but most of the time, it is near 2 months. And even more if you get a full manuscript request.

But hey, this gets better if you and your agent and submitting to editors too. Editors have day jobs too--that are what they are paid to do, edit books. So, reading another manuscript. You guessed it... takes time. It is all about waiting in publishing. If you think you can sneak by with easy and fast yeses from an agent or editor--don't expect to see your book on a shelf in under a year either. The waiting will get to you eventually. This time it is about 18 months on average before you just contracted book hits the shelves. It is just the way of the business. Not that in the meantime you won't be waiting for revision letters, edits, cover images and copy, author photographs to come back, advanced reviews, oh and of course release day. It is waiting, waiting and more waiting.

It's okay though, right? We spend hours writing our novels. Figure it takes just as long (and longer) to actually get that writing out into the world. If you want instant gratification, sign yourself up for a blog (or go get one). Write to your hearts content, and then press PUBLISH. It's instant. And sometimes you even get instant feedback.

Labels: , , ,

2:14 PM | | 0 comments

GUEST BLOGGER: M.J. Rose, author of THE REINCARNATIONIST

Tuesday, October 02, 2007 by Bethany

Welcome M.J. Rose, author of THE REINCARNATIONIST (and 9 other novels) to the blog! M.J. entered the author scene with the release of her first novel LIP SERVICE where she broke into the spicy, erotic romance genre. She followed that book with IN FIDELITY, FLESH TONES, SHEET MUSIC, and LYING IN BED. She also authored The Butterfield Institute Series and then her latest--and biggest departure from her earlier novels, THE REINCARNATIONIST.

So, for today's guest blog entry, M.J. answers why she wrote this book and what the original idea that sparked this book to be written.

When I was three years old, I told my great grandfather things about his childhood in Russia that there was simply no way I could have known.

He became convinced I was a reincarnation of someone in his past. And over time, after more incidents, my mother – a very sane and logical woman -- also came to believe it.

Reincarnation was an idea I grew up with that my mom and I talked about and researched together. For years, I wanted to write a novel about someone like my mother – who was sane and logical – who started out skeptical but came to believe in reincarnation. But I was afraid if I did people would think I was a “woo woo weirdo”.

I tried to start the book ten years ago after my mother died but I was too close to the subject and missed her too much to be able to explore it objectively. Every once in while the idea would start to pester me again but I still stayed away from it.

Then a few years ago on the exact anniversary of my mom’s death my niece, who was a toddler at the time, said some very curious things to me about my mother and I – things she really couldn’t have known -- and the pestering became an obsession.

Josh Ryder, the main character has my mom’s initials, her spirit and her curiosity and like her, he’s a photographer. But there the similarities end.

When Josh starts having flashbacks that simply can’t be explained any other way except as possible reincarnation memories he goes to New York to study with Dr. Malachai Samuels -- a scientist and Reincarnationist who works with children helping them deal with past life memories.

In the process Josh gets caught up in the search for ancient memory tools that may or may not physically enable people to reach back and discover who they were and who they are.

Rather than me tell you anymore about it, let me pass on what a wonderful author, New York Times Bestseller Douglas Preston, says about it:

“The Reincarnationist by M.J. Rose has got to be one of the most original and exciting novels I’ve read in a long time, with a premise so delicious I’m sick with envy I didn’t think of it myself. The novel’s exhilarating story sweeps the reader across the centuries, from ancient Rome to the present day, with stops in between. It will open your mind to some of the incredible mysteries of the past and the greatest secrets of existence. The Reincarnationist is more than a page-turner—it’s a page-burner. Don’t miss it.”

The book has garnered stars from both Publisher’s Weekly, Library Journal and is a BookSense pick for September. I think of all my books, this is the one my mom would be the most proud of which is fitting since it’s really the one she inspired.

Please visit my website: www.mjrose.com for an excerpt, an interview with me about the book, a booktrailer and more.

And to not leave you hanging, here's direct links to all of M.J.'s fabulous resources on the web:

M.J. Rose's official website
Read an Excerpt from THE REINCARNATIONIST
Watch an Interview
Watch a booktrailer
Listen to the BookExpo Podcast interview
Read M.J. blog devoted the novel's fascinating subject matter.
Buy the Book
Reading Group Guide

Labels: , , , , ,

4:21 PM | | 0 comments

AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Valerie Block

Monday, October 01, 2007 by Bethany

Remember the book review for DON'T MAKE A SCENE by Valerie Block we featured late in August? If not, go back and check it out, it's definitely a good read. I mean, how can you surpass a book about a 40 year old movie buff who's had a rough time dating, keeping an apartment, and suffering a mid-life almost career crisis?

If you read the review, you will also note I had discovered Valerie and her writing long before DON'T MAKE A SCENE arrived on the scene. And it delights me to have here here today! She's been kind enough to let me interview her... take a look!

Hi Valerie!

It is absolutely wonderful to have you join my blog for a day--and, let me add, read your latest book. Was a wonderful read, much like WAS IT SOMETHING SAID? (which I also enjoyed immensely). Not only could I not put DON'T MAKE A SCENE down, but, well, it kept me up half the night with its little bits of personality and surprise twists and turns. Who couldn't love Diane? I mean--she either has luck or she doesn't. Or maybe she doesn't really know what she has does she? Anyway, that brings me to the *real* reason I'm loving to have you visit my corner of the Internet, it's interview time! :-)

Q: I'm a huge fan of the back story of novels. The who, what, when, where, and why you wrote DON'T MAKE A SCENE. Can you share a bit of that process with me? What idea sparked the entire evolvement of the story? Was it the idea of Diane as a character that came first, or the situation that she is in?

A: I am a cinema addict from way back, and at some point, I noticed that I was thinking about the movies far more than I was actually going to the movies, and this surprised me. This got me thinking about how the movies shape and haunt us. I had a story that I wanted to tell, about a woman and a man who meet and -- unlike in the movies -- don’t just “click” instantly, and burst into song on public transportation. I thought it would be interesting to juxtapose this very mundane, anti-climactic story against whatever is glamorous about the movies, and it occurred to me that one of the characters could run a revival cinema. I figured that this would be the perfect excuse to see all my favorite old movies, during office hours, in the name of research. The book would be about what happens when the eternal allure of classic cinema collides with the daily indignities of contemporary life.

I started my daily screenings, and two things struck me immediately: first, almost anything that you do everyday, even if it’s pure pleasure, can become a bit of a chore. And second, although many films did stand the test of time, other films that were major works to me when I was younger, upon re-visitation, just didn’t stand up. I found that interesting, how certain films can define stages in your life. And I thought I would “lend” that situation to Diane, the cineaste, who by that time had become one of my main characters.

Q: What part of the book can you most identify with and why?

A: Diane’s predicament really resonated with me. I’ve been married for five years now, but for a very long time -- much longer than is generally recommended -- I was single. At the time I felt under siege from all sides, and I wanted to explore the idea that as a single woman, you have to be very well-defended just to get through your day without advice, criticism, pity, matchmaking services. And although I’d written about the absurdities of dating before (WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?, SoHo Books, 1998), I discovered that I had more to say.

Q: You have a wide range of characters in this book-- from the 40 year old Diane, various high school cinema workers, Dorothy and Estelle (let's just say seniors), to men of various ages (depending on which date Diane is recapping), Vladimir, Javier... and with each of them you have nailed the age group and mannerisms to a tee. Was this something that you intentionally did while writing the book (trying to capture the ages and differences and then having age such a huge plot point in the book overall) or was it something that just came naturally while writing?

A: I try to get everything right! I want to “nail” the age, gender, race, religion, socio-economic group, political temperament, taste in film, books, clothing, etc.

But yes, you bring up a good point: age is an issue, in the book, and in life. My husband has a theory that we use age as a way of establishing an immediate hierarchy when we meet people for the first time, as in, “I am older than you, therefore, taller and more important, too.” Human beings for some reason need to know where they stand in the hierarchy, even if it’s just people standing around at a party. And people have different expectations of you depending on your age. The aging actresses in the book, Dorothy Vail and Estelle DeWinter, have the excuse that they are, or were, in the Business. But what about the rest of us? I think the current obsession with youth and youth culture, and the trend of using medical interventions to look more youthful is a kind of a First World collective mental illness.

Q: We all love movies (or I do). I am guessing with all the references you have throughout DON'T MAKE A SCENE that you are a movie buff yourself, like Diane. Is that true? Are you much like Diane and love some of the *older* movies better than current ones? Can you tell us your top 5 favorite movies?

A: I adore the movies. I wonder sometimes why I didn’t go into films instead of books, but there seemed to be so many barriers to entry when I was starting out as a writer. It also seemed like the writer was the smallest person in a film production, and I was not certain that I had what it took to direct. I thought it would be really frustrating to cede control of my work to someone else.

It was a joy to do the research for this book. I love good movies, no matter when or where they were made. My husband is always making fun of me for dragging him to Czech movies with Polish subtitles. That’s a joke, but barely.

Top five favorite movies? Five? I only get five? How about ten? Here’s a list, and it’s in no particular order. You can see that I have some favorites that are old, and some favorites that are quite current:

All About Eve (Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1950)
The Man Who Loved Women (François Truffaut, 1977)
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter … and Spring (Kim Ki-duk, 2003)
The Lives of Others (Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, 2006)
Rear Window (Alfred Hitchcock, 1955)
Raise the Red Lantern (Zhang Yimou, 1991)
Ninotchka (Ernst Lubitsch,1939)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Ang Lee, 2000)
A Touch of Class (Melvin Frank, 1972)
West Side Story (Jerome Robbins and Robert Wise, 1961)

Q: And, I ask this of all the authors that visit my site because it is just generally fun, if you could have any superpower, what would it be? Me, as I've said before, definitely MORE time. I'd love to control how much time I have (or stop it), so I could take care of the million things I need to get to each day.

A: If I could have any superpower, I think I’d want the ability to control noise, as I seem to be acutely sensitive to it, and am paralyzed with annoyance on trains, in restaurants and even libraries, where people seem to feel it’s their right to yak on their cell phones with impunity and without volume control. Also: there’s a TV on, everywhere you go. I would like to be able to press mute on the world from time to time.

Thank you Valerie for your time and generosity of stopping by! I always love a good chat with an author and this is no exception. Happy writing and can't wait to read your next book!

Labels: , , , ,

9:44 AM | | 0 comments

BOOKS in Review: A Red State of Mind: How a Catfish Queen Reject Became a Liberty Belle by Nancy French

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 by Bethany

I'm a book junkie--admittedly, several times on this blog!--so when the opportunity arises to get a free book to review it on my blog, I'm there. No questions asked.

But here's the thing, Nancy French, author of my latest review A Red State of Mind: How a Catfish Queen Reject Became a Liberty Belle, had no idea that I am a fiction reader. For the most part anyway. And she was throwing me blog and mind fodder for WEEKS. And a memoirish type book that definitely has something to say.

So here I sit--new book in hand, review to write, and a mind full of spittle I want to share. But, first let me tell you, this book WILL get notice for Nancy. Some of it good. Some of it not so good. Only because her topics--politics and religion. But hey, Nancy is no stranger to walking the line. She's written for years for the Philadelphia City Paper columns about these very topics. And, if you read the book, hate mail is no stranger to her (unfortunately).

Which brings me to the review. If you love blogs, you'll likely love this book. It reads very much like a conversational journal with funny anecdotes and humor only someone like Nancy could pull off. I mean, who can talk about religion and politics and make you smile? For me--and this is personal taste--her research, quotes, and cited sources were a bit of a distraction from the funny tales of living North with a South mentality--and vice versa (because dear Nancy, once thrown in a Northern culture and then moved back South, sorta adopted some of the Northern mentality).

The book IS funny. It IS poignant. It does tell a great tale of dealing with basic cultural differences. And for me, coming from the rural Upper Peninsula of Michigan, I can relate. So, much so, I wondered if it really is a north/south thing at all. Maybe it is rural versus urban people. Because, honestly, there is a bigger divide in THAT culture difference to me than anything else.

Anyway, give the book a chance. It has the fun, flippant voice so often found in women's fiction and it has a point. A very definite stance on cultural divides. If you're not into the pointed discussions, read this book for its humor. It's chalked full. Read it for the internal dialogue Nancy is sharing with the world. It's honest. She writes like she's your best friend sitting across the table with a steaming cup of coffee. And for me, that made it a one-day-read. One about a topic I likely would have never given a chance on my own.

Labels: , ,

9:57 AM | | 0 comments

BOOK TOUR STOP: It's a Girl edited by Andi Buchanan

Wednesday, May 17, 2006 by Bethany

It's virtual book tour time! And again we are pleased to bring you IT'S A GIRL by Andi Buchanan. Or more accurately edited by Andi-- as it is a collection of essays written by mothers of daughters pre and post birth.

I was enamored and fascinated with the book at first glance--because it was about girls. Little baby girls. Grown up girls. Mothering girls. Planning for mothering girls. And dealing with girls. And I have a son.

Being a boy mamma--I had no experience to draw from. Well, other than the friends with daughters. and being of the daughter-mind myself--the rest is a mystery. A wonderfully complicated and fresh mystery that one day I might get to experience with a future child. But for now, it's all foreign and misty and totally new. And this book explains IT ALL.

The girlie girls, the moodiness, shrieking, tiaras, tomboys, menstruation, self-image, dread, hope, passing on (or not) of the family name, confidence and all things daughter. ALL THINGS that, as a daughter I thought myself. Even the things I hope NOT to pass to any future daughter (and this theme of passing on or not... also evident in the essays).

As typical of any of Andi's books, I could blather on like an idiot. But this time, I won't. It wouldn't do it justice. So here's the official blurb:

It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters
Edited by Andrea J. Buchanan
Seal Press, April 2006; $14.95

The most popular question any pregnant woman is asked--—aside from "When are you due?"--— has got to be "Are you having a girl or a boy?" When author Andrea Buchanan was pregnant with her daughter, she was thrilled to be expecting a girl. Some people were happy for her, with shared visions of flouncy pink dresses and promises of mother-daughter bonding to come. Other people, though, were concerned: "Is your husband OK with that?" "You can try again." "Girls are tough." This mixed message led her to explore the issue herself, with help from her fellow mother-writers, many of whom had had the same experience.The result is It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters, a wide-ranging, humorous, honest, and poignant collection of essays on the experience of mothering daughters. As she did in It's a Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons, Buchanan and her contributors take on what it's really like to raise a child--—in this case, a girl--—from babyhood to adulthood with essays on everything from "princess power" ("Shining, Shimmering, Splendid"), adding a girl to a brood of boys ("Confessions of a Tomboy Mom"), dealing with a daughter's eating disorder ("The Food Rules"), and mothering "hardcore mini-feminists" ("Tough Girls").

Contributors include Carolyn Alessio, Barbara Card Atkinson, Jenny Block, Amy Bloom, Gayle Brandeis, Martha Brockenbrough, Andrea Buchanan, Ann Douglas, Leslie Fields, Kim Fischer, Gwendolen Gross, Jessica Berger Gross, Rachel Hall, Kelly Harrington Johnson, Suzanne Kamata, Yvonne Latty, Jennifer Lauck, Jody Mace, Jennifer Margulis, Joyce Maynard, Jacqueline Mitchard, Vicky Mlyniec, Catherine Newman, Miriam Peskowitz, Jill Siler, Gabrielle Smith-Dluha, Rebecca Steinitz, Emily Strong, Shari MacDonald Strong, and Katharine Weber.
And of course you can read the introduction here.

Do I still want to parent a daughter? Maybe someday. At least I know I'll have women to share in all the joy, euphoria, contemplation, and struggles.

Labels: , , ,

10:26 AM | | 0 comments

Another LITERARY MAMA Lives Here

Thursday, February 02, 2006 by Bethany

Time to promote another book at Mommy Writer and appropriately it is Literary Mama edited by Andi Buchanan and Amy Hudock. Yep, a book inspired by literarymama.com.

Hell, the very first paragraph of the introduction struck that ever-creative cord in my chest that is always trying to stretch itself to continue growing as a writer AND a parent. You know, stretching it to catch all the various balls and hats of the many roles and responsibilities we juggle daily as mothers who write. Or writers who mother. Want to know what I mean? Here's the first paragraph and you can decide for yourself:

A woman who is a mother and a professional writer sits down to write, rushing to meet a deadline. She takes a moment to reflect on where she left off and then quickly jumps back into the story. As she writes, creating an alternate world, her real world intervenes: The children demand food, the husband wonders where his good pants are, the baby swallows a button, a delivery arrives, the husband wants her attention and insists that she stop her "scribbling,"” one of the kids destroys the first page of her manuscript. She perseveres, writing through the distractions for as long as she can, and then finally surrenders to the domestic chaos, telling her husband to just hand her the baby already and wondering aloud why she bothers trying to balance a writing career and motherhood.
This book is worth the read. Again and again. Especially on those days when your writing isn't quite inspiring. When your doubting your writing abilities. And when you just don't think you can handle another day of parenting. And coming from someone who is STILL on the road, this book is made for a traveling mom on her way in and out of airplanes, cars, and conference meetings.

Here's a bit of info on the lovely editors (as taken from the literarymama.com website):

Amy Hudock, Ph. D. ("The River"), Literary Mama Editor-in-Chief, teaches English at the University of South Carolina. She lives in Columbia, SC, with her daughter. She is a co-editor of the book American Women Prose Writers, 1820-1870, a volume in the Dictionary of Literary Biography series, and the author of scholarly essays on nineteenth-century American women writers. Her non-scholarly writing about motherhood has appeared in ePregnancy, Pregnancy and Baby, Philosophical Mother. You can read her discussions about mothering in academia in her column here at Literary Mama, Mothering in the Ivory Tower, and at her weblog.

Andrea J. Buchanan ("The Plant," the Literary Mama column Mother Shock) is Managing Editor of LiteraryMama.com. Her book of essays on motherhood, Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It (Seal Press 2003), is available wherever books are sold. Her work has been featured in Parents and Nick Jr. magazines, the collection Breeder: Real Life Stories from the New Generation of Mothers, and in on-line parenting magazines such as PregnancyandBaby.com and hipMama.com. Before becoming a mother, Andrea was a classical pianist. Her last recital was at Carnegie Hall's Weill Recital Hall, back before she knew how to play the Teletubbies theme song. You can read more about her adventures in motherland in her weblog. For more information about the book, visit mothershock.com. [Also, she wrote It's a Boy. My review for it is here].
The obligatory linkage for more info:
Don't let these essays, poems, or thoughts on writing while maternally inclined pass you by. Really. You'll miss out.

Labels: , ,

9:46 PM | | 4 comments

It's a Boy Virtual Book Tour STOPS HERE!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 by Bethany

Look here... I'm an official stop for the It's A Boy: Women Writers On Raising Sons Blog Book Tour! The book is edited by Andi Buchanan (author of Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It and editor over at literarymama.com) but is chalked full of essays written women* who have sons of their own. But before I go on blathering about how great all these essays are (and let me tell you, it would take me a blog post for EACH story to explain the whys and hows of their down-to-earth, truthful memoirs of mothering boys) I want share my own adventure into rearing a son--because THIS IS WHAT THIS BOOKS MAKES YOU WANT TO DO. So, call up every one of your girlfriends who has the fortune to have a son (no matter what the age), plan to read the book together, and get ready for a night of admitting the neurosis we call mothering boys.

After I survived the first four weeks of (the holy-shit-I'm-actually-pregnant) shock, I inevitably wondered about the little fetus and its gender as it curled and turned in my womb. For me, it was all about the known versus the unknown.

The known was having a girl. I could prepare her for the world of periods and cramping. Gossip. Developing early (as in sprouting breasts in the 7th grade when you have to shop for real bras and your friends are just experimenting with the trainer ones). How the cool girls are just really insecure even though they can really be brutal, mean, and bitchy in their 12 - 15 year old experience. Excelling in math and science AND computers-- look at your mom, and all about the mystery of boys (well no solutions there other than yes they are an odd bunch). And let's not forget make-up, hand bags, funky socks and shoes. Hair coloring. The fun parts of fishing and camping (cause you need to show off to all those boys who don't think you'd be interested). And everything else about being a woman--cause I have EXPERIENCE in that field.

The unknown, was obviously rearing a boy. I was okay with this option--just a little more unsure and cautious. So much so, I warned my husband he'd have to provide all the technical details of puberty. And deal with fighting or bullying. And that whole sports hazing thing. Cause, well, I didn't have a clue. I could provide comfort, the sensitivity, and the whole how-to-treat-women (and the whole protection thing). I'd take care of making sure the boy could clean, cook, and even do his laundry (just as I would a daughter). And the rest, I'd just learn along the way. I knew this whole course of action would be a little bit harder route for me--because I didn't have the mind or experience of being a boy, teenage boy, or young man, but my husband did, so I was headed in the right direction.

But, similar to Andi Buchanan's experience, it was everyone else's comments that took me aback. My mother-in-law's insistence of having a boy so that I carry on the family name. Even so far as to purchase blue baby wear and It's a Boy receiving blankets even though morning sickness had just started and five-moth ultrasound light-years away. The co-worker, father of two boys, stating as fact, "The first eight years with boys are hard, after that it is cake compared to a girls' emotional roller coaster ride." Then there were the strangers' and their assessments, "Boys are better sleepers," "There is no better relationship than a boy to his mother," "Girls' will kill you with hormones," and so on. It never ceased to amaze me what unsolicited comments I received both before knowing the sex of my child and then when I knew with absolute certainty it was a boy (he wasn't shy for the one and only ultrasound).

But EVEN with all of this, the actual determination it was a boy, and then the actual birth, I STILL wasn't prepared for what happened AFTER he was born. Not only did the whole boys-are-easier-scheme continue (which was now just a pleasantry), I became ridiculed for having a Mama's Boy. This coming from some of the very same people that WANTED me to have a boy, or insinuated that this was a better alternative to having a girl! The realization that my little baby boy was suddenly a toddler when he went to hit me in a fit of aggression when I took away his favorite toy. Or his fascination with all things that move on wheels, with wings, or on rails. He has fit every stereotype of an all-around boy-- dirty, rough, tumble, and quick to a temper. I've been hit, bit, kicked, licked, slurped, thrown at, and even sat on--all by a boy that was under three years old. All signs he definitely has the Y chromosome and a little testosterone in his system. But, I know I have done something right-- he's sensitive, gives me hugs (and even kisses) almost on a whim, and he enjoys drawing and painting as much as anyone (I think this has more to do with his father's career as a graphic designer but, I'll take credit anyway), snuggles while watching movies or when he wants some down time, not afraid of taking chances, and well, he's not a bully (and not a wimp), polite, an avid learner, and he tells me he loves me multiple times a day. What more can I ask for?

Not having a daughter (yet), I don't know what that relationship would be like, nor what her personality, likes, dislikes, or favorite toys would be (wheels or not), but I can only hope it as enduring, exhilarating, frustrating, and proud as the one I have with my son.

So my point in all this is that in It's A Boy all the authors* and their stories don't hide from the truth. I mean these stories are all about honesty, no sugar-coating, admissions of guilt, fear, worry, judgments, and most importantly, and honest to goodness good read for a mom of any kind--but particularly how these moms are coping with raising sons. I give the collection a hearty five diapers and a bottle of wine. Don't forget this is a perfect gift for your best pregnant girlfriend-- she'll thank you later! [Buy the book here]

And if you want more info, here's what you can do:
** Oh, and if you like this book, It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters will be released in April 2006.

Labels: , , ,

12:09 AM | | 2 comments