THE 30-SECOND COMMUTE by Stephanie Dickison

Monday, August 03, 2009 by Bethany

I didn't intend to write a book review today. Hell, The Husband just finished his first half marathon this past weekend and it was one of the most touching moments of my life when we finally were able to touch one another after the race that he pulled me to him, near weeping, and gave me this heart felt hug. All choked up, he was just thrilled that I'd pulled myself and the kids to see him at the 2-mile mark and then made our way through the crowds to the finish line. And WE cheered him on. And WE were there for him, for this big event.

It felt like it was just us standing there in Grant Park with the world swirling around us. I was so proud of him. Of us as a family unit. And my heart burst. But that's another post.... because, I'm compelled to tell you about this book.

Last week, I'd just finished a novel I was reading, wanted something quick, smooth, and easy reading. I was sick for God Sakes (yes, puking sick) and just wanted something easy to digest. Literally and figuratively. So, being sent THE 30-SECOND COMMUTE by Stephanie Dickison a while back (as in MONTHS AGO. In February. And I am just now getting to it).

Can I just say: I. LOVED. THIS. BOOK. It so took me by surprise. Not that I had any expectations except for the quick, smooth, easy thing (which it was). But I didn't expect to be inspired by it. I mean, really. I've read every 'How to Write a Book' Book out there. And even the ole WRITING DOWN THE BONES by Natalie Goldberg (it's an oldie but goodie). But this one, had me wanting to read a chapter, open my laptop and push through all those negative thoughts and keep working on my current work in progress. So some day soon, I could join Stephanie as a writer working for myself.

30-SECOND COMMUTE is not all about writing exercises, routines, finding work as a writer, or how you too can make a living as a freelance writer. Nope. It's a memoir. Just a book about being a writer. And it's ENTERTAINING. Seriously. Stephanie had me laughing out loud. Giggling in the midst of my sickness. And just all about shaking my head in agreement. But the best part about the book really is Stephanie's voice. Somewhere deep in the prose she says that she just wanted to write things that people read. And write them in the way she speaks. And girl... you do. Hell, if you didn't live in Canada and me here in Southeastern Wisconsin, I'd come find you for coffee.

She's fun. Hilarious. Honest. And it feels like she's sitting right next to you talking about life. The best parts about being a writer and how she handles work (she's a Type A like me, so it is heartening to know I am not the only one that will hunch over the keyboard for hours at a time), gets caught up in finding the next project, and well just about everything in between. I literally tore through the book in one night, then opened my laptop and started pounding out my own prose. I mean, the one thing Stephanie was clear about, is you have to write to WRITE. And for whatever reason--her voice, her experiences, her honesty, had me wanting to be just like her.

So, if you're a writer--non-fiction or fiction, pick this book up. It's an open door to the writers world. And it's gloriously honest and funny. It's totally for those days when I don't want to haul my large ass to the desk to write myself. I can pick it up, give any one chapter a quick read and remember why I want to write... thanks Stephanie! You, my girl, ROCK.

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WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? by Alyse Myers

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 by Bethany

Today, I should have been working. Yup. Should have been a normal (busier than humanly possible) 9-to-5 work day full of conference calls, meetings, deadlines, and emails. But I called in sick. The Cold That Just Won't Go Away was still here, and I just needed another day to decompress (have been out of the office since Friday for wedding fun and travel). So instead I sat down with a book or two. And what found it's way into my hands today, but Alyse Myers' Who Do You Think You Are?

It's a lovely memoir about mothers and daughters, relationships, growing up and everything in between. And my in between, I mean all the complications of having a mother.

We all have them but sometimes--especially when we are say 15 and think we own the world--you just don't get along. In my case, the "not getting along" was because I was a teenager, naive and really, just was ready to go out on my own into the world. It's all normal. And hormonal and all that stuff. And even today, mom and I--don't always see eye-to-eye and that's what a so-called normal relationship is all about. But after having a daughter of my own, well I understand even more how hard it is to mother... and that is a whole new perspective (and let me tell you, there are more days than one I wonder if I am going to screw her up too. We women, so emotional on both sides--mother OR daughter).

And this is what this book is all about--Alyse growing up, dealing with death, dealing with siblings, dealing with her mother. But she had other variables in her life to overcome than I. Mine were just high school, boys, and life with a curfew. Her home live was not the best circumstances--not so much money, life with parents that loved each other but only knew how to fight, a bit of drugs, infidelity. But through it all, she loved both her parents dearly. Tenderly. And always did what she thought was best. Even in tough times.

The book is honest in ways that let you really see what it was like growing up for Alyse. And then how she is looking back now and understanding it all. You feel her hurt, pain, and all the in-between of what it was like growing up with her mom. And her dad. And her 2 younger sisters. How she wanted and strived for more. And then realized, well, that her mom was doing all she could. Flawed and all.

It's well written. Poetic. And a true testament to the love she felt for her mom. Bittersweet in ways that it brings Alyse and her own daughter together in ways she likely never imagined (but desired nonetheless). Great book for mothers day or just a read on a lazy weekend afternoon (or say an extra day off of work). As it gives one a sense of hope and love.

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Worry Wart Challenge (Double-Daring Book for Girls Shower)

Thursday, May 14, 2009 by Bethany

All right ladies and gents, it's time for a challenge. A goodness challenge.

Andy Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz have written a lovely new book--THE DOUBLE-DARING BOOK FOR GIRLS--which is a follow up to the first book (which I reviewed here). It's a wonderful book full of information, games, tricks, and loads of things about being a girl. A daring girl to be exact. You can learn a ton of card games, how to win at Scrabble, how to catch a fish, run away and join the circus... but well, buy the book to figure all that stuff out. I'm here for a throw down!

And all of us share a friend named Melissa. And she is throwing them a book shower. What's that you ask? Well who really knows--because can't it be anything we want? Sure can. So we decided to challenge our readers to one of the goodness items in the book. I picked the item on page 167--Worry Dolls.

Ahh, the land of worry. I never thought of myself as a worry wart. But maybe that was because all I ever really wanted was to be fancy foot and carefree. I'm an eldest child, NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. And then I became a parent which forever takes away the carefree days of anything. Thus, why I picked this Worry Doll Challenge.

What is a worry doll? From my friends at Wikipedia they are (and of course all this info is in the book too):

Worry dolls (Spanish: Muñecas quitapenas, "Dolls [that] remove worries"), or trouble dolls, are very small and colorful dolls traditionally made in Guatemala. A person (usually a child) who cannot sleep due to worrying can express their worries to a doll and place it under their pillow before going to sleep.

According to folklore, the doll is thought to worry in the person's place, thereby permitting the person to sleep peacefully. The person will wake up without their worries, which have been taken away by the dolls during the night. Parents may remove the doll during the night, reinforcing the child's belief that the worry is gone...


Now, I know, I know it is all around children above, but I don't give a damn about that. Because reality is, I lose many hours of sleep due to worry and I know many other ADULTS that do too, so here's the details, my dear readers:

I challenge you to choose 6 of your favorite friends or family, and cut them a little slack--make them a Worry Doll so they can shed those worries good-bye. Normally with the folklore thing, you make them in groups of 6--but I've made it easy. Make 6, give 6. And you should be golden. I figure if you spread the worry-less karma around, maybe you (the giver) will also reap benefits.

My dolls are going out by the end of the month--so friends and family members--START watching for them! Now it's your turn--weigh in, tell me who you sent your worry dolls to and why, or beat my score and tell me how many dolls you made, who you sent to, why, and well join in the challenge.

p.s. I really want you to buy the book and all the cool stuff it tells you what to do (it is great if you have a son or daughter, I mean--hello--EVERYONE want to learn how to make a lava lamp right?), but I also want you to make Worry Dolls for friends and family and join the challenge. So, here's some online instructions on how to make them. You know, so you can join in. Let's see if we get the most participants!

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BOOK REVIEW: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not by Trish Ryan

Wednesday, May 06, 2009 by Bethany

First let me say, I've had Trish Ryan's HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT on my bedside to be read table forever (the hardcover version actually). It's been there for about a year. And I'm feeling pretty crummy about it. Sorry Trish! Especially since I had personally asked Trish to read and review the book. Sigh. Personal Failure Alert.

Anyway, let me get into the reasons why I wanted to review the book--and then why, now ready to write something about it, was having a bit of trouble. Don't let that statement trick you, the book is well written and entertaining. Trish, being that is a memoir, was honest and truthful and so sweet I just kept reading even though--the idea of being born again Christian was tripping me up--I kept reading. And reading until the very end. So let me start at the beginning.

I'm not very spiritual. In fact, church is only something I attend for weddings, funerals, baptisms, christenings, maybe a holiday here and there, but really for nothing else. Am I anti-religion? Not really. In fact, I believe in some sort of higher being. And honestly, that's been enough for me for years.

Long story of my childhood in short is: we didn't go to church much then either. My father went all the time as a child and even went to a Catholic school through is younger years. And from that, he decided, we wouldn't need to. And hey, Sunday mornings were never more fun for us! We didn't have to get up early and attend anything in dress up clothes! My Mom was okay with that too--but did spend some time teaching us the Bible basics. Basically the who's who of the important characters, brought us to holiday festivities at the local church, and let us tag along with Grandma and Grandpa when they attended every Saturday night. It was an easy existence, really. And one I never questioned. Even when all the other kids in the neighborhood went off to church and something called Sunday School (sounded brutal to me).

Fast forward a good 20-some years and here we are today. That sort of upbringing didn't haunt me, didn't allow me to make too many bad choices, and I am living a pretty normal life if I say so myself. I've thought about religion. I've had friends and dates and all that stuff with people that were highly spiritual to those that could have given a shit less.

What does all of this have to do with the book? Well, it's about becoming "one with Jesus." For Trish anyway. And as much as the book is about her, she sorta challenges us (the reader) that maybe it might be right for us. Which for me, really not so much. And as much as I loved the beginning of the book, found myself skimming later chapters that were going on and on about how praying with her boyfriend was just the most wonderful thing ever. Because for me, that just went over the top. For. Me.

I wanted to read the book since we shared an agent, she was a first time author, and I've seen her in some writing circles. Overall, it was a writer to writer thing--and having shared personal details of my life here on this blog (and in a possible book someday), I wanted to see how it was done. WITH a touchy subject for some.

So, in a nut shell, here's the skinny: beginning of the book was SO RELATABLE, so real and so fun I just kept reading. Cheering Trish on to find love and happiness, and crying with her when she shares the not-so-good relationships she had. It was an honest look and life, love, and her search for spirituality. She brought us along for the ride she had looking into fueng shui, alternative/new age healing, astrology... and well everything in between. I'd compare it to a cliff-note trip of my own--peaking into all those communities without having to try it for myself. And in fact, we do the same with her love life (the book does have another plot. The husband angle. She's looking for one, wants one desperately, etc). We glimpse in, take part, and really enjoy the ride while Trish remains open and honest--even about the dirt.

And even when she begins exploring Christianity, the writing and Trish's voice kept me captivated. She talked a lot about her doubts and uncertainty. All of which, being in her situation or wanting to "try something new" I would feel the same way. It was all relateable, fun, and easily readable.

But she keeps going down the path... and well, this is where my mind wandered. Everything was going so well. And weirdly well. And all the praying. And well, I kept reading because in the end I like a good love story, I had to be sure she found a man. BUT, I will caution you, it is riddled with Jesus and praying (so much praying I wonder how there is time for normal conversation) and just a world that maybe I am so far removed from I will never get. Trish never loses her voice, even tells us that she is uncertain herself... which helped. But in the end, it just went a bit too far--again--FOR ME. The writing was superb and I love that Trish went out on a limb and wrote the book. It's an insider look into her life, and into a part of religion I'm not so sure I will ever get.

Trish--thanks for the read. I know it is a year late. Sorry, and please forgive me. But girl, you keep writing. Love your voice and writing. I might not be ready to go to church any more today than I was before reading, but the book at least gave me a glimpse into your life, which is what a memoir is intended to do.

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GUEST BLOG POST: The Call by Karen White (author of THE LOST HOURS)

Thursday, April 30, 2009 by Bethany

Since I've been so sporadic in MY posting as of late, decided to call in some reinforcements. Or I should say some reinforcements found me. A fellow writer. Kathy White has a new book out and she wanted some action on the blogs. I am a kind writer and obliged--especially because I'd love to read her book myself (adding it to my Amazon Wishlist right now!). And I just love her story about getting "the call." For those not in the writing world, this is when your agent calls (or and editor) and you get a book deal. And it's an ever-waited moment (I am still awaiting my own CALL). So, without further ado, read Kathy's story below.....

GUEST BLOG POST: The Call


In mid-December, 2003 I finally received the call from my agent that I’d pretty much given up hope ever getting. She left a message on my answering machine saying that she had a two-book offer on the table from my dream publisher, Penguin Publishing Group.

I stood listening to the message about a dozen times, holding heavy bags of groceries, wanting to believe in her sincerity while the whole time picturing my long-suffering husband standing behind her while she made the phone call with a weapon pointed at her head.

Let’s back up three years to explain how I got to that point. Granted, it wasn’t technically my ‘first sale’—but for me, it was the first sale that counted. Most people who know me know my story—how I entered the first book I ever wrote into a contest and it ended up not only winning, but also garnering the attention of a literary agent who offered to represent me. My first sales were to two small publishers. At the time, I would have worked for free (and I just about did!) for the privilege of being published. My advances were small, my print runs and distribution even smaller. Still I was grateful, and pumped out four award-winning books of which I’m still very proud.

I was at least climbing the ladder of success, although my paltry print-runs and publisher non-support kept me firmly planted on the bottom rung. I felt as if I were going to the prom. Sure, my date was the dorky boy with pimples, but at least I was going!

And then even my foothold on that bottom rung was shaken loose and I crashed to the floor. My publisher dropped me, stripping me of confidence and pride. I couldn't sell a book for 2 ½ years. Even the dorky boy didn't want to take me to the prom anymore. I was humiliated, devastated and heartbroken. It no longer mattered to me that I’d published four really great books (as friends and family kept reminding me). At the time, all I could do was point out Tom Petty's song, Even the Losers (Get Lucky Sometimes).

I was inconsolable. St. Jude, the patron saint of hopeless cases, became my close companion and we'd talk every day. I even thought seriously about making voodoo dolls of certain New York publishing personnel and holding them over hot flames.

I gave myself until December 31st of 2003. If I hadn’t sold another book by then, I was hanging up my word processor. I simply couldn’t bang my head against the wall any longer. On the day I received the call from my agent, my husband was on a business trip in New York . Before he’d left, he asked, “Is there anything I can get you while I’m there?” My despondent answer, “A contract.”


ALL ABOUT KAREN (from her PR Goddess Dorothy)

They had her at hello. From her first moments in Charleston and Savannah, and on the South Carolina and Georgia coasts, novelist Karen While was in love. Was it the history, the architecture, the sound of the sea, the light, the traditions, the people, the lore? Check all of the above. Add Karen’s storytelling talent, her endless curiosity about relationships and emotions, and her sensitivity to the rhythms of the south, and it seems inevitable that this mix of passions would find its way into her work.

Known for award winning novels such as Learning to Breathe, the recently announced Southern Independent Bookseller Association’s 2009 Book of the Year Award nomination for The House on Tradd Street, and for the highly praised The Memory of Water, Karen has already shared the coastal Lowcountry and Charleston with readers. Spanning eighty years, Karen’s new book, THE LOST HOURS, now takes them to Savannah and its environs. There a shared scrapbook and a necklace of charms unleash buried memories, opening the door to the secret lives of three women, their experiences, and the friendships that remain entwined even beyond the grave, and whose grandchildren are determined to solve the mysteries of their past.

Karen, so often inspired in her writing by architecture and history, has set much of THE LOST HOURS at Asphodel Meadows, a home and property inspired by the English Regency styled house at Hermitage Plantation along the Savannah River, and at her protagonist’s “Savannah gray brick” home in Monterey Square, one of the twenty-one squares that still exist in the city.
Italian and French by ancestry, a southerner and a storyteller by birth, Karen has lived in many different places. Born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, she has also lived in Texas, New Jersey, Louisiana, Georgia, Venezuela and England, where she attended the American School in London. She returned to the states for college and graduated from New Orleans’ Tulane University. Hailing from a family with roots firmly set in Mississippi (the Delta and Biloxi), Karen notes that “searching for home brings me to the south again and again.”

Always, Karen credits her maternal grandmother Grace Bianca, to whom she’s dedicated THE LOST HOURS, with inspiring and teaching her through the stories she shared for so many years. Karen also notes the amount of time she spent listening as adults visited in her grandmother’s Mississippi kitchen, telling stories and gossiping while she played under the table. She says it started her on the road to telling her own tales. The deal was sealed in the seventh grade when she skipped school and read Gone With The Wind. She knew—just knew—she was destined to grow up to be either Scarlet O’Hara or a writer.

Karen’s work has appeared on the South East Independent Booksellers best sellers list. Her novel The Memory of Water, was WXIA-TV’s Atlanta & Company Book Club Selection. Her work has been reviewed in Southern Living, Atlanta Magazine and by Fresh Fiction, among many others, and has been adopted by numerous independent booksellers for book club recommendations and as featured titles in their stores. This past year her 2007 novel Learning to Breathe received several honors, notably the National Readers’ Choice Award.

In addition to THE LOST HOURS, Karen White’s books include The House on Tradd Street, The Memory of Water, Learning to Breathe, Pieces of the Heart and The Color of Light. She lives in the Atlanta metro area with her family where she is putting the finishing touches on her next novel The Girl on Legare Street.

You can visit Karen White's website at www.karen-white.com.

ALL ABOUT THE LOST HOURS

Now a near fatal riding accident has shattered Piper’s dreams of Olympic glory. After her grandfather’s death, she inherits the house and all its secrets, including a key to a room that doesn’t exist—or does it? And after her grandmother is sent away to a nursing home, she remembers the box buried in the backyard. In it are torn pages from a scrapbook, a charm necklace—and a newspaper article from 1929 about the body of an infant found floating in the Savannah River. The necklace’s charms tell the story of three friends during the 1920s— each charm added during the three months each friend had the necklace and recorded her life in the scrapbook. Piper always dismissed her grandmother as not having had a story to tell. And now, too late, Piper finds she might have been wrong.

If you're interested, you can find it here.

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THE SPARE WIFE by Alex Witchel*

Monday, April 20, 2009 by Bethany

Some get into reality TV. Me? I just love a good book with some dishing, dirt, and a life FAR, FAR from anything close to my reality. THE SPARE WIFE by Alex Witchel? Well, it's the farthest thing from my day-to-day life as possible, and it has some dirt. So it had me at hello. Or "Jacqueline Posner stood at the edge of her dining room and aimed a blow-dryer at the center of a pale peach rose." Mostly because roses in my house are few and far between. A peach one--even farther!

Anyway, the books about high society New York city. Women who have worked their way to that position via marriage, others who worked their asses off and then the ones who just wish they were there. All revolving around "The Spare Wife," Ponce Morris. She hangs with the boys and the girls in the marriage and everyone is happy. She's been around the block, seen it all, married for money, and then went to law school and divorced (there is a whole slew more to that back story that's equally interesting but read the book to get the details). The woman is a straight shooting hard ass. Well until you find out she's having an affair with one of the richest and notable in town.

But what makes it so dishy is that it's all secret until an underling at the one of the city's entertainment magazines catches her. Well, this is when it gets interesting (to me anyway). It's all about scandal and an expose and things that make us realize that even if you're rich, life ain't perfect. For Anyone.

So really dig into this witty, satirical book about life in the upper class in the Big Apple. For me, it gave me a glimpse into the other side of the life of the rich and famous in the city. As much as it is dishy and like living the life of a fly on the wall to a life I will never have--it's also a big slap in the face to the Desperate Housewives television. This has more meat and definitely a better statement on that type of life.

Dig in. Enjoy. And I promise to write something NON-book related in the next few days as I dive back into my working mom reality bright and early tomorrow morning.

* Yup, another Mothertalk sponsored post. Which means they sent me the book. I read, I like, I post. Simple as that.

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MOJO MOM: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family by Amy Tiemann, PH.D.*

Sunday, April 19, 2009 by Bethany

So, I've been absent. Sue me. I went on a long weekend getaway with my husband and left the kids with Grandma so I could pretend to be 21-years-old again. I'm paying for it now, with some deep exhaustion. And having to go back to work sooner rather than later. But man... having those 2 nights without the kids? GLORIOUS. Haven't had that kind of kid-free time, in about 5 years. And I'm not kidding. We've only ever spent 2 other nights away from children, when my son was about 2. We were due. And a fun time were had. Which sorta leads to this book review (you'll have another one coming tomorrow too. Bear with me, I told you I was behind), MOJO MOM: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family by Amy Tiemann, PH.D.

Like the title suggests, it's about getting your groove back after kids. But not the sex groove so much (but that is included!), it's about finding yourself after you rip open your insides and give birth to this thing called a child. And you have no idea what the hell just happened, what you do with it, and then how you try to balance it all in day to day life while still remaining a woman--outside of the family and husband department.

I wish I had this book after my son was born. I was a bit of a mess. I was trying to work, be a mom, a wife, and well everything in between. We didn't live near family and I didn't have a babysitter. And hell--I was told growing up I could do it all. So why not do it now? I'd managed to find myself living outside of Chicago, with a new house, cars, and was managing a career to the point that I worked regularly out of my home in my pajamas. Who could ask for more? Well, I did. I wanted a baby. But what I didn't count on was the fact that--THAT BABY--would change everything.

Sure, sure. You hear it will change it all and that you will never the be the same. But trust me, until you have that baby in whatever means you have it... it doesn't make a lick of difference until you are looking at yourself in the mirror one morning and realize you have dark circles under your eyes permanently. And that worry you feel in your gut? Won't go away until the kid can take care of him/herself forever. Which means--that worry will never go away. But I am off on a tangent here....

MOJO MOM is just an honest look at motherhood. About the identity change every mom goes through. Some as quickly as a few hours (God bless them) and others where it takes years to figure out where you are and WHO you are now that you are a mother. I loved the book in that Amy is just plain honest. And gives a lot of personal examples about how motherhood collides with just about everything in your identity... your career, your marriage, your dreams. And although at first it seems like it kills all of that. It really doesn't. Just takes some time to shuffle it all around to make sense. Thus, the book.

It lays down the simple process a mom goes through. And then gives you ways that MIGHT work to help you through it all. Because, as with everything, we are all different. And it might take you 3 years to move through to true mojo mom, where me? Hell, I think I just made it through the night with two wee ones that were clinging to my side after a long weekend away. But, I have hope that my mojo will be back in full force. Give or take a year.

Anyway, check out the book. Amy is awfully honest, gives great insights, and overall, just gives us mom's what we need to know we aren't insane in this motherhood business. We just need a little help, pick me up, and an occasionally girlfriend time to regain what was our PRE-CHILD and then who knows, turn into so much more afterward. And she's got a cool website that helps too. Check it out.

* Yup, a Mothertalk sponsored post. Which means they sent me the book. I read, I like, I post. Simple as that.

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BOOK LOVE: The No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley

Saturday, March 21, 2009 by Bethany

It's been forever since I've posted a book review! Honestly, how dare I leave you hanging? Well, it is pretty indicative of the time I've had lately juggling work and yes, children. Some of which deals with the very issues discussed in today's book-- NAP TIMES--because I do work from home at least 2 times a week with an 18-month-old, who, um does in theory like naps, it's just a matter of WHERE she takes them. But, let me give you the low down first.

It's no secret I love Elizabeth Pantley (see my last review). I'm so into the whole Listen-to-your-kid Theory as well as the Each-kid-is-different Thing and the There-is-no-one-parenting-solution Thinking. Seriously. Who said one way is right? But I am even bigger into someone who just tells it like it is from experience. And (as I have said before), Elizabeth has 4 kids. She's gotta know something right? But hey, I'm likely preaching to the choir here. In short, it's a simple thing, Elizabeth is into non-crying solutions that MIGHT* help you get your child to take a nap without the kicking, screaming, whining, and more crying that you typically imagine when you tell your kid it's nap time. And yes, that does happen sometimes.

*We preface that with a Might because really, as Elizabeth says, each kid is an individual, there is no one solution that is perfect. Just do what you can. And she offers up at least a handful of solutions that might work for you...

Which brings me to my nap time issues (Come on! You knew they were coming!)... The Peanut. Love her. Even the whining, hanging on my leg. The constant need to TELL me when she is upset (even if it is a half hour later). Gotta love her ability to express herself, right? Anyway...

She's a better sleeper overall than her brother was. For him, I'd sit for hours rocking, patting, snuggling, singing (yes, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star was his favorite. It will be etched in his brain for eternity), until FINALLY he would fall asleep. Only for me to twitch and he'd awake and we'd start all over again. And this "routine" was consistent for both naps and bedtime until he was about 2 years old. And then, I gave in and let him just sleep in our bed from the start (we'd tried having him start out nights in "his" bed until I went nuts from sleep deprivation around 4am and then brought him to ours)... to which he dropped to sleep in about 15 minutes with little night waking. Of course, he spent most nights in our room until he was 4-years-old, but hey, I got sleep, he got sleep, and we weaned him from night nursing with not one more night of screaming, "Want MA! WANT MA! Want MA!" But, I digress, this is about The Peanut.

She likes sleeping, goes down pretty easily and hardly ever cries. So, what's the problem? She wants to be held the entire time. ENTIRE. TIME. I've learned to accommodate this when I work from home. Have the right chair, my laptop in front of me, phone close by to hush the ringer, and well... it works for now. But, my God, she is almost 2! I want to be able to put her down and say, take a shower. ALONE.

In comes, The No-Cry Nap Solution. I'd love to tell you I have read the book from cover-to-cover and that it is working swimmingly. And that my daughter is in fact sleeping in bed right now. But the truth is, she's on my lap. Sleeping of course. And I am not that much closer than I was a week ago. But, at least now I have some plan in mind. And that is what this book is perfect for. It tells you the Whys (why naps are good for all ages, why sleep can keep you sane--literally, and why napping should be an important part of your child's development), and gets you started on some paths that might work for you. One of which is the sleep log. Again, something I did for my son... and am in the process of doing now for my daughter. Granted, I'll admit, I'm not diligent to a fault. I'm taking a more high level approach so I stay sane. But, this book gives you that flexibility. It has worksheets, short chapters (hey, we don't have time to READ do we?), and there are a number of options to choose from. Most of which--I'll likely try and mold into what works for me. Even if it sadly means holding my daughter til she is 3 for naps during the day (unless of course I can lie with her and nap myself!). Because, that is what works for me. And, from Elizabeth's point of view, I think she'd be okay with that too. As long as it is not stressing me out.

But hey, please check out the book. It really does offer a ton of solutions and information on napping. It's all pro-choice, pro-NON-crying, and pro-child. I mean, she offers solutions, but let's you know it is okay if it isn't going swimmingly (like in my situation). Kids are kids. Adults are adults. And she's here for you. And she is. Take a look at her web site. Isn't it Da Bomb? More info there as well.... printable sleep logs, cheat sheets, free articles, and you can even write her for advice on your specific situation. It's lovely. As is the book. Can't ask for a better form factor for parent-to-parent advice.

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Paperback releases and GRETA

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 by Bethany

So, two things today that I need to mention:


I reviewed Allison Winn Scotch's book THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND way back when (here in case you want to read it again). It's a great book. And she's a wonderful person. If you didn't want to shell out the cash for the hardcover, her book came out this week in paperback. Go buy yourself a copy! Oh and don't freak out, they did indeed change the cover for paperback!







Secondly, I'm pimping my own writing this week. Again.

LIFE OF GRETA, Chapter 3 (Adventure Here I Come!) is up at Hybrid Mom. Help an as-yet unpublished author get some attention, will ya! All it takes is your time to read the latest--and comment. Hell, if you comment this week, I'll mold a character after you! Come on... I know you want to. Join the fun here! (oh and don't fret if you haven't read thus far, read from the beginning here).

Was that enough promotion for you? I'm all about writing, helping authors, and well, showing off my own work. Work with me!

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Book Review: THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND by Allison Winn Scotch

Monday, February 11, 2008 by Bethany


Cancer sucks. No matter what the form--colon, lung, prostate--it is a definite buzz kill in any conversation. And completely a downer when "it happens" to someone you love. Which is exactly what happened to Allison Winn Scotch, the author of THE DEPARTMENT OF LOST AND FOUND.

Although the book is far from autobiographical or memoir, it is in honor of a close friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. And the book itself? Completely compassionate, honest, raw--and well, a real look at what it would be like to be young and diagnosed with the big C.

The book follows Natalie Miller from the day her very normal (if not hectic) life as a top political aide for a New York senator and girlfriend of a gorgeous boyfriend gets turned around. The boyfriend dumps her, the doctor finds cancer, the job she'd given her life too suddenly takes a turn for the worse, and she finds herself addicted to the Price is Right on her couch in her darkened apartment.

But don't think this book is a downer. Far from it. Natalie is a fighter. And one determined to figure out where it all went wrong. She fights back from the stares at work when she does venture in to help the "good" senator out and back into her past when she looks at her last 5 boyfriends. For old times sake. And sanity sake. Natalie's personality alone makes this book. She's headstrong. Vivacious. And plain determined to beat the cancer right out of her. Even if she is in a bit of a depression (I mean, who wouldn't be).

We get a dose of the real Natalie by way of her diary at the beginning of each chapter. And those entries and full of honesty, fear, and courage. Outwardly she puts on a face--but the truth behind that face is a wonderfully afraid person doing the best they can.

The book is full of jovial fun, as well as every day nonsense that keeps you laughing, even in the face of cancer. And having Natalie go down the path of past loves of her life? Well, makes you love her even more. Don't be afraid of the heavy subject matter here, Allison does a wonderful thing as an author, you laugh through a bit of tears, but come out the other end smiling. Beautifully written and a wonderful tribute to a friend.

Here's the official blurb for the book from Allison's web site:
It didn’t start out as the worst day of Natalie Miller’s life. At thirty, she is moving up the political ladder, driven by raw ambition and ruthless determination. As the top aide to New York’s powerful female senator, she works hard, stays late, and enjoys every bit of it, even if the bills she’s pushing through do little to improve the lives of the senator’s constituents. And if her boyfriend isn’t the sexiest guy alive, at least he’s a warm body to come home to.

Then he announces he’s leaving. But that news is barely a blip compared to what Natalie’s doctor tells her: She has breast cancer. And she can’t cure it by merely being headstrong. Now the life Natalie must change is her own.

All her energy, what little of it she has left, must go into saving herself from a merciless disease. So when she’s not lying on the sofa recovering from her treatments and indulging in a curious addiction to The Price Is Right, she realizes it’s time to take a hard look at her choices. She begins by tracking down the five loves-of-her-life to assess what went wrong. Along the way, she questions her relationships with her friends, her parents, her colleagues, the one who got away, and, most important, with herself: Why is she so busy moving through life that she never stops to embrace it?

As Natalie sleuths out the answers to these questions, her journey of self-discovery takes her down new paths and to unexplored places. And she learns that sometimes when life is at its most unexpected, it’s not what you lose that makes you who you are . . . it’s what you find.

And don't forget to check out this online fun:

- Allison Winn Scotch's Official Website
- Allison's Blog (lots of info for freelance and novel writers there!)
- An Interview with Allison
- Writers Unboxed Allison shares the limelight with a handful of other authors on this blog)
- Buy the book from Amazon

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BOOK REVIEW: CONFESSIONS OF A PREP SCHOOL MOMMY HANDLER by Wade Rouse

Thursday, January 31, 2008 by Bethany

I'm a sucker for a little dirt. You know, the insider track to the "behind the scenes" stuff. And Wade Rouse doesn't disappoint in CONFESSIONS OF A PREP SCHOOL MOMMY HANDLER his second memoir.

Sure, sure, he reminds us up front in the Author's Note that he's changed names, combined a few people into one, and even hidden the "real" name of the school he was the PR director for--for what seemed like a life sentence of hell. But still--there's dirt here. Plenty of dirt. And I couldn't put the book down, I was enthralled with this life that is very foreign to what I'd grown up in (as Wade too... he shares the rural upbringing with me).

It all starts in Wade's office at the prestigious, private school "Tate Academy" on the first day of school for the year with a few deep cleansing yoga breaths. That is until the phone rings and he's summoned to the Carpool Lane. I'll warn you now, it all goes down hill from this point. Wade was appointed to handle public relations for the school--but it's no secret his job is to deal with the mommies. In particular the high-profile, rich moms who he terms "Mean Mommies" (or M2s). Or course there are the "Pink Ice Barbies" too (these are the daughters of the M2s, and appropriately wear pink. Always. Just like their mothers. And are quite fond of whispering and the term "Oh. My. God!"

Of course, I can't forget the Queen of the M2s--"Kitsy" Ludington. The source of Wade's pain. And what pain it is! She orders, plays, befriends (sorta), teases, pushes, and well basically makes this poor man's life a living hell. Especially for a man who's gay and playing it straight (the tolerance policy at Tate is officially open, but unofficially, not so much). And that is just one twist in this really twisted tale of high society at a private school where there is more money floating around in clothing than I make in an entire year of working my ass off.

This book was extremely touching, real, and well written--remember it is a memoir. It's from the point of a man trying to make it into the "in crowd." Much like what I spent my entire childhood trying to do. And to be honest--like Wade--a lot of my adulthood and career pursuing as well. And he doesn't give up. Ever.

The book twists and turns through this weird lifestyle giving away not only the secrets of the rich (well, their image anyway) but also through a "coming out" for Wade. And by coming out, I mean, coming out of his shell to be the person he wants to be in his life. I gotta respect the man, it hadn't of been easy dealing with that crowd--gay, straight, man, woman, whatever denomination. It had me chuckling, gasping, and even shouting a few of my own "Oh. My. Gaaawwwwds!"

Here's the official teaser:

On the nights following the Monday Morning Muffins with Mommies, I typically have the same dream: I have come to Tate as a gay man. Passing as a straight man. Who works only with women. And gets abused by mothers. I dream that I write a Broadway play called The Stepford Wives: The Musical. I cast the play first with Barbie dolls, but they just stand there, motionless, staring at me, so I hold auditions, telling the auditioning actresses to pretend to be robotic imitations of real women who have actual hearts and souls and minds of their own. No one gets my concept. I then try and pitch it to movie executives. "It's Victor-Victoria meets The Nanny Diaries meets The Crying Game meets The Devil Wears Prada." I do not get backing for my project. I, do, however, wake up and get to go into work.

Fun hey? I was hooked too. Thanks Wade, for going into work. This book wouldn't have been born without it. [grin] Here's some more fun to check out before you go out and buy the book (or after):

- Wade Rouse's Website
- Wade's Blog
- Wade's MySpace Page
- An Excerpt of the book
- Buy the book from Amazon

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Waiting For Publication Is Hard To Do

Tuesday, October 23, 2007 by Bethany

Ain't that the truth. If you think waiting for your muse to strike you with the best novel idea ever (read evah)--well you are in for a huge surprise when and if you decide to publish that bestselling novel. Not only is the road to publication (whether novels, magazine articles, or a newspaper byline) long and twisty (finding contacts, submitting, revisions, and then of course deadlines)--it is painstakingly slow. Sure there are exceptions, but the bulk of us--wait a really long time to see our name in print under or labor of words.

Firs there is the writing the first draft. You love it. Cuddle (and coddle it). Treasure each and every word. Or if you are like me, painstakingly sit down almost every day and write with as much fever as possible (you never know when you'll get another minute). And that is if the muse is with you. If not, I still sit my ass down at the computer and try to write something (anything) to make it to the next day. Not only is that a long process, but when you try to reach near 300 pages--it can be grueling (not to mention daunting when you are on page 1).

But then the inevitable happens (well, if you are writing each and every time you can)--you finish the first draft. And boy, if you've never reached that point yet, let me tell you, it is the BEST high one can imagine. I would compare it to sex if my husband doesn't read the blog. Your work is complete. The hours, days, weeks of your time finally in form of a book.

For me, I was in the fiction writing closet for so long, I have a weird counter-action to it, wanting to share my writing immediately. I mean, right then when I type The End. Sure there is that one scene near page 45 that I didn't quite finish, but I have note right there that says what will happen then. And yes, I know the protagonists boyfriend's name changes half way through to James (because Jim was too informal). Believe me when I tell you, going back to only fix those little errors? It isn't enough. No one (and really there isn't) can write a decent first draft.

So what does one do (especially when they really--and I mean really--want to share and start jumping the agent/editor search, like now, since the idea is so HOT? You wait. Honestly, give yourself a break from the work. Some people say they can give it a week and revisit. For a novel, I can't do this. I have to wait a month (if I can). I've lived with these characters for months, I can't just forget them in a week. Hell, they are still talking to me, questioning some of what they did. Bothering me that I didn't represent them right on page 124 because they would never (and I mean never) say such a mean and snotty thing to their mother (but trust me, they did and do... it is called character remorse). But everyone is different. You need to leave the writing alone. Get it out of your head. Enjoy your family, the weather, some good old movies. Anything that can get your mind OUT of the book, for a change. And when that finally happens, then go back and start rereading with the critical eye. Rework, revise, revamp, and rewrite. It is the only way to polish your work.

For novels, it takes me a month or more to get a fresh perspective on the storyline and characters. For articles? Maybe a day or two. But that isn't what matters. Revisions make the writing better. I know that, you know that, we all know that. Hell, I taught that when I worked at The Writing Center in college. But, they really are damn hard to pull off. Especially write after you spent your blood and tears getting it on paper in the first place. But don't think otherwise -- you MUST rewrite. There is no other way. And rewrites--you guessed it--take time.

For me, about 4 rewrites (at least). My last novel that took 9 rewrites. And then another to top the cake (and now no one will read the thing). You'll know when it is of the caliber to show your prospective agent or editor. It will make you proud--you'll smile just thinking about. And criticism will slide off you back. Want to know why, you know that book is the way it is because you purposely wrote it that way--intentional and with entire abandon.

But don't let the importance of first readers go un-noticed. You need those too. The people you trust (not your husband or mother or sister) to read your out-of-the-gate first draft readers. Likely another author you trust to take a look and tell you if there is a real story in there somewhere. And those first readers? The minute you type The End, you sure as hell send them an e-mail--literally hot off the presses. Because that is what they are there for. And then wait for them to read it. (see? Waiting. The theme of this post).

Now onto my favorite topic, the agent/publisher search. This is where it gets even harder. Response times in publishing are slow. Really slow. You search for an agent, you get your top 10 list. And then your top 65. And if you are really still persistent a top 100 list. Then submit, following all the rules listed on the website, Writer's Marketplace books, or e-mail. And wait. As in weeks and weeks of waiting. Sure sometimes you get a fast response (by fast it is usually a week or two), but most of the time, it is near 2 months. And even more if you get a full manuscript request.

But hey, this gets better if you and your agent and submitting to editors too. Editors have day jobs too--that are what they are paid to do, edit books. So, reading another manuscript. You guessed it... takes time. It is all about waiting in publishing. If you think you can sneak by with easy and fast yeses from an agent or editor--don't expect to see your book on a shelf in under a year either. The waiting will get to you eventually. This time it is about 18 months on average before you just contracted book hits the shelves. It is just the way of the business. Not that in the meantime you won't be waiting for revision letters, edits, cover images and copy, author photographs to come back, advanced reviews, oh and of course release day. It is waiting, waiting and more waiting.

It's okay though, right? We spend hours writing our novels. Figure it takes just as long (and longer) to actually get that writing out into the world. If you want instant gratification, sign yourself up for a blog (or go get one). Write to your hearts content, and then press PUBLISH. It's instant. And sometimes you even get instant feedback.

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GUEST BLOGGER: M.J. Rose, author of THE REINCARNATIONIST

Tuesday, October 02, 2007 by Bethany

Welcome M.J. Rose, author of THE REINCARNATIONIST (and 9 other novels) to the blog! M.J. entered the author scene with the release of her first novel LIP SERVICE where she broke into the spicy, erotic romance genre. She followed that book with IN FIDELITY, FLESH TONES, SHEET MUSIC, and LYING IN BED. She also authored The Butterfield Institute Series and then her latest--and biggest departure from her earlier novels, THE REINCARNATIONIST.

So, for today's guest blog entry, M.J. answers why she wrote this book and what the original idea that sparked this book to be written.

When I was three years old, I told my great grandfather things about his childhood in Russia that there was simply no way I could have known.

He became convinced I was a reincarnation of someone in his past. And over time, after more incidents, my mother – a very sane and logical woman -- also came to believe it.

Reincarnation was an idea I grew up with that my mom and I talked about and researched together. For years, I wanted to write a novel about someone like my mother – who was sane and logical – who started out skeptical but came to believe in reincarnation. But I was afraid if I did people would think I was a “woo woo weirdo”.

I tried to start the book ten years ago after my mother died but I was too close to the subject and missed her too much to be able to explore it objectively. Every once in while the idea would start to pester me again but I still stayed away from it.

Then a few years ago on the exact anniversary of my mom’s death my niece, who was a toddler at the time, said some very curious things to me about my mother and I – things she really
couldn’t have known -- and the pestering became an obsession.

Josh Ryder, the main character has my mom’s initials, her spirit and her curiosity and like her, he’s a photographer. But there the similarities end.

When Josh starts having flashbacks that simply can’t be explained any other way except as possible reincarnation memories he goes to New York to study with Dr.
Malachai Samuels -- a scientist and Reincarnationist who works with children helping them deal with past life memories.

In the process Josh gets caught up in the search for ancient memory tools that may or may not physically enable people to reach back and discover who they were and who they are.

Rather than me tell you anymore about it, let me pass on what a wonderful author, New York Times Bestseller Douglas Preston, says about it:

“The
Reincarnationist by M.J. Rose has got to be one of the most original and exciting novels I’ve read in a long time, with a premise so delicious I’m sick with envy I didn’t think of it myself. The novel’s exhilarating story sweeps the reader across the centuries, from ancient Rome to the present day, with stops in between. It will open your mind to some of the incredible mysteries of the past and the greatest secrets of existence. The Reincarnationist is more than a page-turner—it’s a page-burner. Don’t miss it.”

The book has garnered stars from both Publisher’s Weekly, Library Journal and is a
BookSense pick for September. I think of all my books, this is the one my mom would be the most proud of which is fitting since it’s really the one she inspired.

Please visit my website: www.mjrose.com for an excerpt, an interview with me about the book, a
booktrailer and more.

And to not leave you hanging, here's direct links to all of M.J.'s fabulous resources on the web:

M.J. Rose's official website
Read an Excerpt from THE REINCARNATIONIST
Watch an Interview
Watch a booktrailer
Listen to the BookExpo Podcast interview
Read M.J. blog devoted the novel's fascinating subject matter.
Buy the Book
Reading Group Guide

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Valerie Block

Monday, October 01, 2007 by Bethany

Remember the book review for DON'T MAKE A SCENE by Valerie Block we featured late in August? If not, go back and check it out, it's definitely a good read. I mean, how can you surpass a book about a 40 year old movie buff who's had a rough time dating, keeping an apartment, and suffering a mid-life almost career crisis?

If you read the review, you will also note I had discovered Valerie and her writing long before DON'T MAKE A SCENE arrived on the scene. And it delights me to have here here today! She's been kind enough to let me interview her... take a look!

Hi Valerie!

It is absolutely wonderful to have you join my blog for a day--and, let me add, read your latest book. Was a wonderful read, much like WAS IT SOMETHING SAID? (which I also enjoyed immensely). Not only could I not put DON'T MAKE A SCENE down, but, well, it kept me up half the night with its little bits of personality and surprise twists and turns. Who couldn't love Diane? I mean--she either has luck or she doesn't. Or maybe she doesn't really know what she has does she? Anyway, that brings me to the *real* reason I'm loving to have you visit my corner of the Internet, it's interview time! :-)

Q: I'm a huge fan of the back story of novels. The who, what, when, where, and why you wrote DON'T MAKE A SCENE. Can you share a bit of that process with me? What idea sparked the entire evolvement of the story? Was it the idea of Diane as a character that came first, or the situation that she is in?

A: I am a cinema addict from way back, and at some point, I noticed that I was thinking about the movies far more than I was actually going to the movies, and this surprised me. This got me thinking about how the movies shape and haunt us. I had a story that I wanted to tell, about a woman and a man who meet and -- unlike in the movies -- don’t just “click” instantly, and burst into song on public transportation. I thought it would be interesting to juxtapose this very mundane, anti-climactic story against whatever is glamorous about the movies, and it occurred to me that one of the characters could run a revival cinema. I figured that this would be the perfect excuse to see all my favorite old movies, during office hours, in the name of research. The book would be about what happens when the eternal allure of classic cinema collides with the daily indignities of contemporary life.

I started my daily screenings, and two things struck me immediately: first, almost anything that you do everyday, even if it’s pure pleasure, can become a bit of a chore. And second, although many films did stand the test of time, other films that were major works to me when I was younger, upon re-visitation, just didn’t stand up. I found that interesting, how certain films can define stages in your life. And I thought I would “lend” that situation to Diane, the cineaste, who by that time had become one of my main characters.

Q: What part of the book can you most identify with and why?

A: Diane’s predicament really resonated with me. I’ve been married for five years now, but for a very long time -- much longer than is generally recommended -- I was single. At the time I felt under siege from all sides, and I wanted to explore the idea that as a single woman, you have to be very well-defended just to get through your day without advice, criticism, pity, matchmaking services. And although I’d written about the absurdities of dating before (WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?, SoHo Books, 1998), I discovered that I had more to say.

Q: You have a wide range of characters in this book-- from the 40 year old Diane, various high school cinema workers, Dorothy and Estelle (let's just say seniors), to men of various ages (depending on which date Diane is recapping), Vladimir, Javier... and with each of them you have nailed the age group and mannerisms to a tee. Was this something that you intentionally did while writing the book (trying to capture the ages and differences and then having age such a huge plot point in the book overall) or was it something that just came naturally while writing?

A: I try to get everything right! I want to “nail” the age, gender, race, religion, socio-economic group, political temperament, taste in film, books, clothing, etc.

But yes, you bring up a good point: age is an issue, in the book, and in life. My husband has a theory that we use age as a way of establishing an immediate hierarchy when we meet people for the first time, as in, “I am older than you, therefore, taller and more important, too.” Human beings for some reason need to know where they stand in the hierarchy, even if it’s just people standing around at a party. And people have different expectations of you depending on your age. The aging actresses in the book, Dorothy Vail and Estelle DeWinter, have the excuse that they are, or were, in the Business. But what about the rest of us? I think the current obsession with youth and youth culture, and the trend of using medical interventions to look more youthful is a kind of a First World collective mental illness.

Q: We all love movies (or I do). I am guessing with all the references you have throughout DON'T MAKE A SCENE that you are a movie buff yourself, like Diane. Is that true? Are you much like Diane and love some of the *older* movies better than current ones? Can you tell us your top 5 favorite movies?

A: I adore the movies. I wonder sometimes why I didn’t go into films instead of books, but there seemed to be so many barriers to entry when I was starting out as a writer. It also seemed like the writer was the smallest person in a film production, and I was not certain that I had what it took to direct. I thought it would be really frustrating to cede control of my work to someone else.

It was a joy to do the research for this book. I love good movies, no matter when or where they were made. My husband is always making fun of me for dragging him to Czech movies with Polish subtitles. That’s a joke, but barely.

Top five favorite movies? Five? I only get five? How about ten? Here’s a list, and it’s in no particular order. You can see that I have some favorites that are old, and some favorites that are quite current:

All About Eve (Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1950)
The Man Who Loved Women (François Truffaut, 1977)
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter … and Spring (Kim Ki-duk, 2003)
The Lives of Others (Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, 2006)
Rear Window (Alfred Hitchcock, 1955)
Raise the Red Lantern (Zhang Yimou, 1991)
Ninotchka (Ernst Lubitsch,1939)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Ang Lee, 2000)
A Touch of Class (Melvin Frank, 1972)
West Side Story (Jerome Robbins and Robert Wise, 1961)

Q: And, I ask this of all the authors that visit my site because it is just generally fun, if you could have any superpower, what would it be? Me, as I've said before, definitely MORE time. I'd love to control how much time I have (or stop it), so I could take care of the million things I need to get to each day.

A: If I could have any superpower, I think I’d want the ability to control noise, as I seem to be acutely sensitive to it, and am paralyzed with annoyance on trains, in restaurants and even libraries, where people seem to feel it’s their right to yak on their cell phones with impunity and without volume control. Also: there’s a TV on, everywhere you go. I would like to be able to press mute on the world from time to time.

Thank you Valerie for your time and generosity of stopping by! I always love a good chat with an author and this is no exception. Happy writing and can't wait to read your next book!

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BOOKS in Review: A Red State of Mind: How a Catfish Queen Reject Became a Liberty Belle by Nancy French

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 by Bethany

I'm a book junkie--admittedly, several times on this blog!--so when the opportunity arises to get a free book to review it on my blog, I'm there. No questions asked.

But here's the thing, Nancy French, author of my latest review A Red State of Mind: How a Catfish Queen Reject Became a Liberty Belle, had no idea that I am a fiction reader. For the most part anyway. And she was throwing me blog and mind fodder for WEEKS. And a memoirish type book that definitely has something to say.

So here I sit--new book in hand, review to write, and a mind full of spittle I want to share. But, first let me tell you, this book WILL get notice for Nancy. Some of it good. Some of it not so good. Only because her topics--politics and religion. But hey, Nancy is no stranger to walking the line. She's written for years for the Philadelphia City Paper columns about these very topics. And, if you read the book, hate mail is no stranger to her (unfortunately).

Which brings me to the review. If you love blogs, you'll likely love this book. It reads very much like a conversational journal with funny anecdotes and humor only someone like Nancy could pull off. I mean, who can talk about religion and politics and make you smile? For me--and this is personal taste--her research, quotes, and cited sources were a bit of a distraction from the funny tales of living North with a South mentality--and vice versa (because dear Nancy, once thrown in a Northern culture and then moved back South, sorta adopted some of the Northern mentality).

The book IS funny. It IS poignant. It does tell a great tale of dealing with basic cultural differences. And for me, coming from the rural Upper Peninsula of Michigan, I can relate. So, much so, I wondered if it really is a north/south thing at all. Maybe it is rural versus urban people. Because, honestly, there is a bigger divide in THAT culture difference to me than anything else.

Anyway, give the book a chance. It has the fun, flippant voice so often found in women's fiction and it has a point. A very definite stance on cultural divides. If you're not into the pointed discussions, read this book for its humor. It's chalked full. Read it for the internal dialogue Nancy is sharing with the world. It's honest. She writes like she's your best friend sitting across the table with a steaming cup of coffee. And for me, that made it a one-day-read. One about a topic I likely would have never given a chance on my own.

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BOOK TOUR STOP: It's a Girl edited by Andi Buchanan

Wednesday, May 17, 2006 by Bethany

It's virtual book tour time! And again we are pleased to bring you IT'S A GIRL by Andi Buchanan. Or more accurately edited by Andi-- as it is a collection of essays written by mothers of daughters pre and post birth.

I was enamored and fascinated with the book at first glance--because it was about girls. Little baby girls. Grown up girls. Mothering girls. Planning for mothering girls. And dealing with girls. And I have a son.

Being a boy mamma--I had no experience to draw from. Well, other than the friends with daughters. and being of the daughter-mind myself--the rest is a mystery. A wonderfully complicated and fresh mystery that one day I might get to experience with a future child. But for now, it's all foreign and misty and totally new. And this book explains IT ALL.

The girlie girls, the moodiness, shrieking, tiaras, tomboys, menstruation, self-image, dread, hope, passing on (or not) of the family name, confidence and all things daughter. ALL THINGS that, as a daughter I thought myself. Even the things I hope NOT to pass to any future daughter (and this theme of passing on or not... also evident in the essays).

As typical of any of Andi's books, I could blather on like an idiot. But this time, I won't. It wouldn't do it justice. So here's the official blurb:

It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters
Edited by Andrea J. Buchanan
Seal Press, April 2006; $14.95

The most popular question any pregnant woman is asked--—aside from "When are you due?"--— has got to be "Are you having a girl or a boy?" When author Andrea Buchanan was pregnant with her daughter, she was thrilled to be expecting a girl. Some people were happy for her, with shared visions of flouncy pink dresses and promises of mother-daughter bonding to come. Other people, though, were concerned: "Is your husband OK with that?" "You can try again." "Girls are tough." This mixed message led her to explore the issue herself, with help from her fellow mother-writers, many of whom had had the same experience.The result is It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters, a wide-ranging, humorous, honest, and poignant collection of essays on the experience of mothering daughters. As she did in It's a Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons, Buchanan and her contributors take on what it's really like to raise a child--—in this case, a girl--—from babyhood to adulthood with essays on everything from "princess power" ("Shining, Shimmering, Splendid"), adding a girl to a brood of boys ("Confessions of a Tomboy Mom"), dealing with a daughter's eating disorder ("The Food Rules"), and mothering "hardcore mini-feminists" ("Tough Girls").

Contributors include Carolyn Alessio, Barbara Card Atkinson, Jenny Block, Amy Bloom, Gayle Brandeis, Martha Brockenbrough, Andrea Buchanan, Ann Douglas, Leslie Fields, Kim Fischer, Gwendolen Gross, Jessica Berger Gross, Rachel Hall, Kelly Harrington Johnson, Suzanne Kamata, Yvonne Latty, Jennifer Lauck, Jody Mace, Jennifer Margulis, Joyce Maynard, Jacqueline Mitchard, Vicky Mlyniec, Catherine Newman, Miriam Peskowitz, Jill Siler, Gabrielle Smith-Dluha, Rebecca Steinitz, Emily Strong, Shari MacDonald Strong, and Katharine Weber.
And of course you can read the introduction here.

Do I still want to parent a daughter? Maybe someday. At least I know I'll have women to share in all the joy, euphoria, contemplation, and struggles.

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Another LITERARY MAMA Lives Here

Thursday, February 02, 2006 by Bethany

Time to promote another book at Mommy Writer and appropriately it is Literary Mama edited by Andi Buchanan and Amy Hudock. Yep, a book inspired by literarymama.com.

Hell, the very first paragraph of the introduction struck that ever-creative cord in my chest that is always trying to stretch itself to continue growing as a writer AND a parent. You know, stretching it to catch all the various balls and hats of the many roles and responsibilities we juggle daily as mothers who write. Or writers who mother. Want to know what I mean? Here's the first paragraph and you can decide for yourself:

A woman who is a mother and a professional writer sits down to write, rushing to meet a deadline. She takes a moment to reflect on where she left off and then quickly jumps back into the story. As she writes, creating an alternate world, her real world intervenes: The children demand food, the husband wonders where his good pants are, the baby swallows a button, a delivery arrives, the husband wants her attention and insists that she stop her "scribbling,"” one of the kids destroys the first page of her manuscript. She perseveres, writing through the distractions for as long as she can, and then finally surrenders to the domestic chaos, telling her husband to just hand her the baby already and wondering aloud why she bothers trying to balance a writing career and motherhood.
This book is worth the read. Again and again. Especially on those days when your writing isn't quite inspiring. When your doubting your writing abilities. And when you just don't think you can handle another day of parenting. And coming from someone who is STILL on the road, this book is made for a traveling mom on her way in and out of airplanes, cars, and conference meetings.

Here's a bit of info on the lovely editors (as taken from the literarymama.com website):

Amy Hudock, Ph. D. ("The River"), Literary Mama Editor-in-Chief, teaches English at the University of South Carolina. She lives in Columbia, SC, with her daughter. She is a co-editor of the book American Women Prose Writers, 1820-1870, a volume in the Dictionary of Literary Biography series, and the author of scholarly essays on nineteenth-century American women writers. Her non-scholarly writing about motherhood has appeared in ePregnancy, Pregnancy and Baby, Philosophical Mother. You can read her discussions about mothering in academia in her column here at Literary Mama, Mothering in the Ivory Tower, and at her weblog.

Andrea J. Buchanan ("The Plant," the Literary Mama column Mother Shock) is Managing Editor of LiteraryMama.com. Her book of essays on motherhood, Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It (Seal Press 2003), is available wherever books are sold. Her work has been featured in Parents and Nick Jr. magazines, the collection Breeder: Real Life Stories from the New Generation of Mothers, and in on-line parenting magazines such as PregnancyandBaby.com and hipMama.com. Before becoming a mother, Andrea was a classical pianist. Her last recital was at Carnegie Hall's Weill Recital Hall, back before she knew how to play the Teletubbies theme song. You can read more about her adventures in motherland in her weblog. For more information about the book, visit mothershock.com. [Also, she wrote It's a Boy. My review for it is here].
The obligatory linkage for more info:
Don't let these essays, poems, or thoughts on writing while maternally inclined pass you by. Really. You'll miss out.

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It's a Boy Virtual Book Tour STOPS HERE!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 by Bethany

Look here... I'm an official stop for the It's A Boy: Women Writers On Raising Sons Blog Book Tour! The book is edited by Andi Buchanan (author of Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It and editor over at literarymama.com) but is chalked full of essays written women* who have sons of their own. But before I go on blathering about how great all these essays are (and let me tell you, it would take me a blog post for EACH story to explain the whys and hows of their down-to-earth, truthful memoirs of mothering boys) I want share my own adventure into rearing a son--because THIS IS WHAT THIS BOOKS MAKES YOU WANT TO DO. So, call up every one of your girlfriends who has the fortune to have a son (no matter what the age), plan to read the book together, and get ready for a night of admitting the neurosis we call mothering boys.

After I survived the first four weeks of (the holy-shit-I'm-actually-pregnant) shock, I inevitably wondered about the little fetus and its gender as it curled and turned in my womb. For me, it was all about the known versus the unknown.

The known was having a girl. I could prepare her for the world of periods and cramping. Gossip. Developing early (as in sprouting breasts in the 7th grade when you have to shop for real bras and your friends are just experimenting with the trainer ones). How the cool girls are just really insecure even though they can really be brutal, mean, and bitchy in their 12 - 15 year old experience. Excelling in math and science AND computers-- look at your mom, and all about the mystery of boys (well no solutions there other than yes they are an odd bunch). And let's not forget make-up, hand bags, funky socks and shoes. Hair coloring. The fun parts of fishing and camping (cause you need to show off to all those boys who don't think you'd be interested). And everything else about being a woman--cause I have EXPERIENCE in that field.

The unknown, was obviously rearing a boy. I was okay with this option--just a little more unsure and cautious. So much so, I warned my husband he'd have to provide all the technical details of puberty. And deal with fighting or bullying. And that whole sports hazing thing. Cause, well, I didn't have a clue. I could provide comfort, the sensitivity, and the whole how-to-treat-women (and the whole protection thing). I'd take care of making sure the boy could clean, cook, and even do his laundry (just as I would a daughter). And the rest, I'd just learn along the way. I knew this whole course of action would be a little bit harder route for me--because I didn't have the mind or experience of being a boy, teenage boy, or young man, but my husband did, so I was headed in the right direction.

But, similar to Andi Buchanan's experience, it was everyone else's comments that took me aback. My mother-in-law's insistence of having a boy so that I carry on the family name. Even so far as to purchase blue baby wear and It's a Boy receiving blankets even though morning sickness had just started and five-moth ultrasound light-years away. The co-worker, father of two boys, stating as fact, "The first eight years with boys are hard, after that it is cake compared to a girls' emotional roller coaster ride." Then there were the strangers' and their assessments, "Boys are better sleepers," "There is no better relationship than a boy to his mother," "Girls' will kill you with hormones," and so on. It never ceased to amaze me what unsolicited comments I received both before knowing the sex of my child and then when I knew with absolute certainty it was a boy (he wasn't shy for the one and only ultrasound).

But EVEN with all of this, the actual determination it was a boy, and then the actual birth, I STILL wasn't prepared for what happened AFTER he was born. Not only did the whole boys-are-easier-scheme continue (which was now just a pleasantry), I became ridiculed for having a Mama's Boy. This coming from some of the very same people that WANTED me to have a boy, or insinuated that this was a better alternative to having a girl! The realization that my little baby boy was suddenly a toddler when he went to hit me in a fit of aggression when I took away his favorite toy. Or his fascination with all things that move on wheels, with wings, or on rails. He has fit every stereotype of an all-around boy-- dirty, rough, tumble, and quick to a temper. I've been hit, bit, kicked, licked, slurped, thrown at, and even sat on--all by a boy that was under three years old. All signs he definitely has the Y chromosome and a little testosterone in his system. But, I know I have done something right-- he's sensitive, gives me hugs (and even kisses) almost on a whim, and he enjoys drawing and painting as much as anyone (I think this has more to do with his father's career as a graphic designer but, I'll take credit anyway), snuggles while watching movies or when he wants some down time, not afraid of taking chances, and well, he's not a bully (and not a wimp), polite, an avid learner, and he tells me he loves me multiple times a day. What more can I ask for?

Not having a daughter (yet), I don't know what that relationship would be like, nor what her personality, likes, dislikes, or favorite toys would be (wheels or not), but I can only hope it as enduring, exhilarating, frustrating, and proud as the one I have with my son.

So my point in all this is that in It's A Boy all the authors* and their stories don't hide from the truth. I mean these stories are all about honesty, no sugar-coating, admissions of guilt, fear, worry, judgments, and most importantly, and honest to goodness good read for a mom of any kind--but particularly how these moms are coping with raising sons. I give the collection a hearty five diapers and a bottle of wine. Don't forget this is a perfect gift for your best pregnant girlfriend-- she'll thank you later! [Buy the book here]

And if you want more info, here's what you can do:
** Oh, and if you like this book, It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters will be released in April 2006.

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