Blog Tour: A SUMMER AFFAIR by Elin Hilderbrand

Wednesday, July 02, 2008 by Bethany

I'm going on vacation in 1 day. One, bloody more set of 24 hours that constitute a day. Which means I'll have not one more ounce of work to think about for 13 days. And that seems blissful. Especially if I would have had A SUMMER AFFAIR to read while I was ON vacation, as it is perfect for one of those times you just want to be whisked away into someone else's existence for a few hours. Or days. I mean, look at that cover? Does that not just scream flip flops and Capri pants while basking in the sun?

The book's premise is one I could relate to--a woman, a mom to four, wife to one is a people-pleaser. Claire Danner Crispin's also an artist. Well, ex-artist, after she decided to give up her glass-blowing of art pieces when her son was born premature. And of course she runs a household on Nantucket. But the story really begins a few years earlier...

Claire went out with her girlfriends for a night of drinks. Martinis, beer, wine be had a few jumped in a camp and another didn't listen to the rest and jumped in her car. And wham... and accident. Daphne does recover. But not completely to the "way she was," and Claire is ridden with guilt. Heavy guilt. Her reasoning? She bought the last round of drinks and she invited the woman for God-sakes!

The guilt doesn't stop there... there's her son's early birth due to her hot shop/glass blowing activities. Then there are the 800 odd things she's asked to do, and compulsively volunteers to do. Including this co-chairing the Summer Gala thing for the Nantucket Children's Benefit. Which, since Lock Dixon asked her (hint: Daphne's husband. The woman who was in the accident), how could she say no?

It's get even more complicated... she gets asked create an auction piece for the event, the fact that her best friend is also her sister in law, or that she knows the hottest rock star on the planet (Max West) and they expect her to get him to come and play at the Gala. For Free. He was her old boyfriend, it isn't impossible--right? Oh and her sister and brother-in-law own a catering business that could be up for the Gala, that Jason, her husband, has a high libido (yhen again what nan doesn't?)--oh and one other tiny thing, she ends up in an extra-marital affair.

You can imagine how messy this gets for Claire right? Very. Messy. So much so I found myself shaking my head and wondering what else might get screwed up in the process. And that is part of the "fun" part of the book. You get to read. Gasp. Make snarky comments. Judge. And hell, you're in your own home and no one is the wiser. In the end, you might even get to see how the hell this all turns out for Claire.

Elin Hilderbrand (author extraordinaire) does a great job of giving you a sense of community in the book (Nantucket's not that big) and the very fact that it is a small town. One that has only a handful of people (as compared to say Chicago or New York) and they all intertwine. Some more literally, as in family lines, more than others, who say work together professionally. Or say, socially.

After getting sucked into Claire's life and emotions for the first portion of the book, I felt a bit cheated when the point of view changed and I was in someone else's head. In fact, I was sad. I wanted Claire back! But then I turned a few more pages. Read some more. Got sucked in again, And learned more about Siobhan. And then Gavin. Lock. Jason. Oh hell, the whole lot of characters. It gave the book more depth. More complication. And that is what makes this book a good summer read.

The story takes you outside yourself--even back into your childhood thinking about your first love. You imagine yourself in the predicaments. The friendships. The families. And suddenly you are at the end of the book! It's a solid tale with twists, a few heart-aching moments, truthfulness, and some depth. It's great to get lost in, especially when on vacation. But you might just find yourself wanting to keep tagging along with this crew for another installment. You meet a lot of characters and there isn't one that you don't find out a hidden truth.


* This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. Yep, I get books to read, reviews to write, and an occassional gift certificate for my time.

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5:21 AM | | 1 comments

MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU by Darin Strauss

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 by Bethany

The story starts simple enough--a man, Josh Goldin, an TV airtime salesman, that works for Sparkplug, a television company. Walking around with the new person on the block. Smiling. Working his magic. Being the co-worker he always knew he could be, and then the call comes. His son is in the hospital.

The 8-month-old vomited. But it wasn't just normal vomit there was blood in it, then he coded. Then he was all right. And then there were the doctors. Did Dori, Josh's wife remember to tell the attending ER doctor about the blood? What about the tests they did or did not do? And this is only where the story begins.

And it of course gets more complicated. There is the head of the Pediatrician unit at the hospital, Dr Darlene Stokes, who wonders about this family. Particularly the mother. And then there's Dr Stokes' mother, Alice. Her ex-con father Intelligent Mohammad (or Charles Stokes). Her now dead husband... her own son James.

But those are only the characters and the basic situations. What makes MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU one of the best reads I've had recently is the layering of information. The minute you think you "know" a character, it all changes. I was flip flopping from tender moments of intimacy with knowing what motivated a character (or so I thought), to gut wrenching scenes that had me gasping for breath. Who knew you could read along with the story and suddenly have everything you knew ripped from you?

It's a page-turner in and of itself since, once in the flow of the story, there is a need to keep reading. To find out what you didn't know three pages before. To find out what is going to happen to the characters that your suddenly caring about.

Of course, as with the real world, the book is also wrought with personalities, race, religion, morals, justice, and plain old life circumstance. But what makes it worth the read, is how these all play off one another. Does the book go "over the top" for the sake of fiction? Not really. It gives you a peak into each players head and gives you the reasons and motivations behind their actions--sometimes with disturbing effects.

It's truly a wonderfully crafted tale. There are twists, turns, suspicions, and a whole lot of good story telling. I am still breathless and caught up in what transpires. It's a book that will have to be read more than once to catch all the nuances the author, Darin Strauss, intended.

Oh and did I sound like I was gushing? Well, I am. The book took me by surprise and I love that. I'd read the blurbs, signed up to review and added it to the pile. But when I started reading? Well it became the book I didn't expect, but in a good way. Completely captivating and compelling read. Even though, there was more then once, I was a bit afraid what might be on the next page--or what dear character might throw me for a loop next. Trust me on this one, completely worth the read. Just get ready for a few surprises.

* This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. Love that I get a chance to read and relate to these authors and their work. It truly is a labor of love.

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4:36 AM | | 1 comments

Blog Tour: THE STAY-AT-HOME SURVIVAL GUIDE by Melissa Stanton

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 by Bethany

I'm a mom that has always worked once she had children. My son was 6-weeks-old when I went back to work. And I was fortunate, I was a consultant and worked completely from home. That is until 3 months later I had to work on site 10 hours a day all summer long. And then of course, I went back to working from home MOST days of the week, back to a full time in office gig.

With my daughter, I did take the full maternity leave that I could afford--16 weeks. We even pulled my son out of pre-school during that time too. To save money, to save my time from shuffling him to and from school, and--if I am honest--to see if I could do the stay-at-home thing. And you know what? I could.

The reality is, when my son was born, it freaked me out to consider staying home. I'd spent a long time in college, a lot of money on a degree, and a lot of time building a budding career. I couldn't stand to think of leaving that for mommyhood. So, I didn't. I jumped back into work. I stressed, I managed, and I breastfed the kid til he was almost two--all with a headset attached to my ear for numerous conference calls, more than a few overnight stays on client sites, and survived it all.

With my daughter, and my son now older, wiser, and looking a bit too grown up... I had a different perspective. One of a mom considering staying at home. Or wanting to stay at home to enjoy these "fleeting" moments with my kids. And hell, we can't have more if I am working my tail off! But...

So, I am going out on a limb here, I am scared to try it. For a few reasons. Financial is numero uno. How can one afford to live on one salary? Seriously, you give me ways to do this (we already live by a budget), and I might just have to give my notice tomorrow! Secondly, it's my sanity. I know how it is to stay at home with children. I've lived through it twice now. And am still living with an expressive 9-month-old who only likes to be held when I am around and a kindergartener come Fall. There is a helluvalot more running aroudn now! And a lot less of mom to pull into directions.

Enter THE STAY-AT-HOME SURVIVAL GUIDE Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane, and connected while caring for your kids by Melissa Stanton. I seriously cannot gush enough about this book. It's not a tell-all guide for leaving work and becoming a stay at home mom. Really. We all live different lives, who knows what you need to do to take the leap. But it does share what other moms did. What Melissa, the author herself, did. What you could do. And by all means, what you might do.

But what the book does best is just share with you that--guess what--staying home as a mom is a full time gig. One that isn't always pretty. Sometimes sucks. But in the end, can be survivable and fun. Is this some earth-shattering new news? Hell no! We all love our kids. When they aren't screaming, having tantrums, and are acting like angels for the 2 seconds a day that make them utterly adorable we could just eat them up.

This book gives you the reality, shares other mom realities, and offers that shoulder (of many) that you can turn to, to know what to expect when staying at home, and how to make the best of it. LOVE the extras in and about the chapters (Who Cares for Katie Couric's Kids? cracked me up. The title tells all--celebrities are given gold stars for being moms. But, um, do they do it all on their own?). And as much as the book says it is for stay-at-home moms, there is a ton of info that is JUST as valauble to a working mom. Especially one who works from home part of the time. But even if you don't... who doesn't need a little guidance (or a few girlfriends) to tell you that you aren't alone when you forgot diapers at home, spend more time in your car carting around kids to games and doctor appointments than you have for yourself in the last 10 years, and that your feeling along in this parenting thing. Really alone.

The books weaving of expert advice, or articles on parenting/women/working/SAHM/WAHM/whatever label you want to put here, and personal adcedotes, along with the whole "girlfriend" tone of the book is wonderful. Delightful even. It's not preachy. It just tells facts. Relatable, REAL life experiences... that as I said, make it a worth while read no matter what you circumstance. But even moreso if you want to, have considered, ARE, or once was a stay at home mom doing THAT juggling dance (because, come on, being a SAHM does mean you are multitasking to the 9th degree... laundry, cleaning, feeding, napping, bathing, dressing, hygene, appointments, games, school, crafts, cooking).

Which brings me back to my point... I asked to review this book because I'd love more than anything to land on the other side of the fence. Chuck the paying corporate day job to stay home with my kids. My stress level would be reduced to only times of tantrums and sickness (instead of worrying myself to the point of sickness when I left the baby at the sitter when she wasn't exactly better). I wouldn't have to juggle a crying baby and whining 5 year old while on a conference call and leading a high-profile project (because when you add that to the SAHM list above, it is almost heart-attack stressful). And maybe once a year, just once, I could relax and enjoy being "just a mom." Because quite frankly, there are days it would be nice. This book makes me wonder if I should just take the plunge.


* This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. Love that I get a chance to read and relate to these authors and their work. It truly is a labor of love.

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7:47 AM | | 2 comments

BLOG TOUR: The Working Woman's Pregnancy Book

Thursday, May 15, 2008 by Bethany

Just as recently as 8 months ago, I had baby number 2. And yes, just like the first, I worked all the way up to my delivery date. In fact I went into labor WHILE working. Though it was a "work at home" day. Was I crazy? Did I do what I should? Did I over-extend myself? I have personal responses to all of those... sometimes, sure, and I don't think so. But it helps to have a professional opinion to way in on the situation--THE WORKING WOMAN'S PREGNANCY BOOK is just that.

I was especially fond of the parts of the book that talked about working and being pregnant. The looks. The perceptions of being a woman and pregnant in a male-dominated working environment. And the stretching exercises that might have helped my back with this last baby (really, where was this book then?) Really, when you are as huge as a whale and want nothing more than to go home and crawl into a bed (and then inevitably lie awake), you wonder why the hell you work. Sadly, that even continues after the little one is born. The whole grass is greener ideal comes into play--always.

But that's it. The book goes into details for EVERYTHING pregnancy. The embryo sizes, planning for pregnancy, breastfeeding or not, and everything. This is all good for first time moms. I would have loved this before my son was born. This last time around? I could have used the cliff notes of my favorite chapters:

- Pregnancy's Effects on Work, and Work's Effects on Pregnancy (the Efficiency section was gloriously true!)
- You and Your Baby-to-Be (this is where those exercises were illustrated)
- Communication at Work (Changes section... and yes people talk about you when you are pregnant, no matter how family friendly and Maternity Leave. You never feel like you have enough time).
- Getting Bigger, The Last Few Weeks section (I was a whale, I was uncomfortable, I was a bear, I wanted nothing more than to go into labor)

I loved the quotes from real women throughout... sometimes I would have rather read those than the text. But, hey, I've been through the pregnancy thing at work two times now. I just want to know how other's had it.

But it's a great resource. I'd highly recommend it for all those mom's that are starting out. It can be the only book that they buy!

Here's where to get more info:

- Marjorie Greenfield, M.D.-- Author Website
- Publisher Website
- Buy the book from Amazon

Oh and as always, thanks to the gals at MotherTalk for the opportunity to read the book!

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8:58 AM | | 0 comments

THE CURE FOR MODERN LIFE by Lisa Tucker

Wednesday, April 09, 2008 by Bethany

I fell in love, immediately with the characters in THE CURE FOR MODERN LIFE. Which, is what I very much expected from Lisa Tucker. I loved the characters in ONCE UPON A DAY.

To say I was smitten with Matthew Connelly, not completely accurate. It took me at least three chapters to begin to sort him out (how couldn't it when the first line is, " Was Matthew Connelly a bad man?"). But then again, he's a man. And that figuring out thing? Well, it made him that much more intriguing. And fun to read about. Which, Lisa did flawlessly. But don't let me get too hung up on Matthew. There's more characters to swoon over.

There's Danny and Isabelle... the homeless children that, by chance, get thrown into Matthew's life. And suddenly make him question how he's lived his life and what's right. The knight trying to save his sister... and mother. So naive and unobstructed with the material things in life (except an iPod of course!). It is sweet. Innocent. And touching.

Of course, I can't forget Amelia--Matthew's once lover and now arch enemy. That whole dynamic--and Amelia's thoughts on the ethical and human parts of life? Had me riveted. She's complicated, dynamic, emotional... so real. The old college friend, Ben--super-genius scientist. Who's complicated in his own right. Sure, Matthew describes him as shy and introverted (scared to ask Amelia out)... but soon you find out, maybe he's not as shy as anticipated. Maybe driven in the world of science--but not scared of the world.

All of these characters that I love so much entwine, twist, turn, and then question every decision they've made (and might make) into this wonderful story. Another that I will be keeping up on my shelf. I just couldn't put the book down for a WHOLE NIGHT. I kept putting myself in the shoes of the characters... what would I do? How would I react? Would I challenge Matthew? or Ben? Or Amelia? Would I kick out Danny and Isabelle? The book was addicting. As were the characters.

Here's the back jacket blurb to get you started:
Matthew and Amelia were once in love and planning to raise a family together, but a decade later, they have become professional enemies.

To Amelia, who has dedicated her life to medical ethics, Matthew's job as a high-powered pharmaceutical executive has turned him into a heartless person who doesn't care about anything but money. Now they're kept in balance only by Matthew's best and oldest friend, Ben, a rising science superstar -- and Amelia's new boyfriend.

That balance begins to crumble one night when, coming home to his upscale Philadelphia loft, Matthew finds himself on a desolate bridge face-to-face with a boy screaming for help. Homeless for most of his life, ten-year-old Danny is as streetwise as he is world-weary, and his desperation to save his three-year-old sister means he will do whatever it takes to get Matthew's help. What follows is an escalating game of one-upmanship between Matthew, Amelia, and Danny, as all three players struggle to defend what is most important to them -- and are ultimately forced to reconsider what they truly want.

The Cure for Modern Life is about what it means in the twenty-first century to be responsible, to care about otherpeople, and to do the right thing.
But don't take my word for it, check out the book for yourself! While your waiting, check out the other stuff online:

- Lisa Tucker's Website
- Chapter One Excerpt
- Reviews
- Buy the book from Amazon now

Again, this post is brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk! Keep the great books coming...

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12:00 PM | | 0 comments

Only Child by Deborah Siegel & Daphne Uviller

Tuesday, April 08, 2008 by Bethany

I'm married to an Only. To which, I am not. I have one sister a couple years younger. One who, we don't always see eye-to-eye (toy-to-toy, life chance-to-life-chance) but, we are nonetheless sisters to the core. Mess with her, you mess with me (yes, that's the Big Sister/Brother Mantra. And it still stands today). Sibling life, after being married for over 9 years to an Only, I realize is different. At least to one that is an Only.

Early on, when my husband was only a boyfriend, we did the obligatory holiday visit to the families. We started at my parent's home. Hugs, kisses, presents, tree-decorating, food, and of course, the annual sisterly fight. That particularly year, it only took about 5 hours.

My sister was still in high school. I'd come home from college with my boyfriend and, for once, was ready for a little family time. It didn't bother me to chit chat with mom and dad in front of the illuminated fire place and reminisce, discuss politics, and even come to terms with my last term's grades. I was, what-can-I-call-it, being treated almost like an adult. And with a man at my side, I almost felt like one. At least until my sister decided she was bored. Friends started calling non-stop and she expected to be able to take the car for a night on the town. On Christmas Eve.

Initially, whether I was showing off for this boyfriend or to my parents my new found grown-upedness, I kept my trap shut. I think I even offered a thin smile to what-would-become-my-future-husband and tried to let it roll off my shoulders. My sister, barely sixteen, kept badgering my parent's authority. Chiming in to say how "she never gets to do anything," and about how "unfair it was that they were keeping her home." She even went so far as to say that they were "ruining her life." Remembering my year at 16, the feelings were normal. Ones I likely shared too. Not in that way of course. I was the eldest. Surely, I didn't storm off in tantrums and slam doors. But then of course, my sister, master of pushing my buttons (as all siblings are), did the abdominal--she pulled the sister card. "You would have let Beth do it!" she screamed from the top of the stairs.

Whether this was a dig at my parent's parenting ability or at at myself didn't matter, my blood immediately boiled. I digressed into behaving like a ten-year-old and stomped upstairs to have an "adult" word with my sister. Why didn't she want to spend time with me (it wasn't every weekend I was home from college)? Did she not want to meet my boyfriend? Be with mom and dad?

The fight, accusing, combative, combustive--all sisterly, all sibling related. Even the jab at my adolescent rights (and no, my parents wouldn't have let me take the car to visit friends on Christmas Eve. This was notoriously a "family night"). Nothing really out of the ordinary. Except maybe that I had a boyfriend sitting downstairs, foolishly grinning and trying to get along with my parents without my presence at his side.

But for my eventual husband? This "argument?" The futility of it all. Unreasonable explosiveness. The very fact that it turned into a sister fight over nothing--appalled him! How could I? She was my sister! I had a sister, one that albeit immature sometimes (at least at 16), but a sibling nonetheless... why fight? He obviously was oblivious. I reasoned my actions to him--showed the bones of contention, why her jab had wounded my feelings, why if my parents DID let her take the car it would dishonor me... and well, it all fell on deaf ears. He was still laughing at my pointed list of reasons why I was mad. All he could understand was that she was my sister. Period. Who cares if she left to visit friends? We'd visited over dinner. After dinner. Tomorrow... and of course, put in those terms. He was (probably) right. At least in that moment.

The thing is--by experiencing that moment then, and reliving it now--I can see, how as an only child, the moment was funny. If not excruciatingly embarrassing for him. He didn't get it. The fighting. And the fact that she's my sister, getting on each other's nerves is part of the big picture. Part of being siblings. Part of who we are and our relationship.

That is where I missed the point. He didn't know. As an Only--it was him and his parents. And that relationship would require an entire post itself to dissect. It was tumultuous in good times. Being a girlfriend (and now wife) of an only son had a mountain of expectations to complicate matters. Family names had to be taken into consideration. What about future children. What about holidays--we have no other children to make them special. The need and wants for their son's (full) attention. Being on-call for parents when they need them... the list was endless. And here I'd thought this one-ness might make it less complicated.

ONLY CHILD dissects the Only mystery. It's full of insight and honesty for all the nuances of what being an Only means--whether that is content, lonely, jealous, insightful, always feeling on the outside. Each essay gave me a little ity bit more insight into my husband's brain. His hard-wired one-ness. It's complicated! I had no idea that the idea of turning to a someone special instead of one's parents for advice was so life changing (Laundry Distance by Lynn Harris). Or the burdens of losing a parent (we all know that is hard, really hard)--can be especially burdening on a single-child (Dodging Laurie by Daphne Uviller). Sure this seems obviouss, but THINK about it some more. Only child, only responsiblity (and unfortunatley, this year, The Husband has had first hand experience at this). Or the fact that no matter what you do as an only child--you're it. The everything--and mostly high expectations follow (You're It by Betty Rollin).

All of this is nothing new--if I thought about it enough. But coming from the writings of other Onlies? Well it gives me more of a perspective of what it might have been like growing up like my husband. Or why, when we decided to have children--it was always children, not a child. His deepest want was admitted, he always wanted a sibling.

Thoughtful, heart-wrenching, honest, and funny--these writers brought it to life for me. The life of an Only is just as complicated as those with Siblings. And now you have a little insight into why. Take a look at the author's websites, blog, interviews (all below), and more:

- Deborah Siegel's Website
- Girl With Pen - Deborha's Blog
- Interview with Deborah
- Daphne Uviller's Website
- Publisher's website
- Purchase the book from Amazon

*This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. And the Publisher. Love that I get a chance to read and relate to these authors and their work. It truly is a labor of love.

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1:48 AM | | 0 comments

THE SKY ISN'T VISIBLE FROM HERE by Felicia Sullivan

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 by Bethany

If asked to describe this book in 3 words, I'd have to pick breath-taking, touching, and heart-wrenching.

I wish I could say it is in one of those Happy Ever After Ways, and it is--sorta--but instead it is more of a I Can't Get Over That Felicia Survived It Way. And by It I mean a childhood wrought with hardship, little money, a mother obsessed with drugs, alcohol, herself, and men that were no good. And an adulthood that managed to get her "out" of one lifestyle and into another one. One that was full of more money but just as much alcohol and unfortunately just as much cocaine. Only good point, Felicia got out of it. She found a way to push herself past her mother and let go.

Sorry, if I gave the ending away, but seriously, she wrote the book. She'd have to NOT be high. Right? (And Felicia, this is meant as sarcasm. Really. you go girl, because after what you went through, well, no one can play victim anymore. You just go out there and keep writing. Knock 'em dead. Kinky hair and all. Hell, you should see how stringy mine is!)

THE SKY ISN'T VISIBLE FROM HERE is wrought with childhood stories of the haunting kind. For me, an ordinary girl from the Midwest with a "normal" mom, it is almost unfathomable that a child could grow up and out of this environment. I'm not that naive to know that it doesn't happen though. I'm just again happy my life was pretty normal.

The most touching portion of the whole book is Felicia's love for her mother. Still. Even though she hasn't heard from her since the night of her college graduation and the fact that she has indeed let her go. Forever. In fact, the entire book revolves around how she is trying to "shed" this love. Her mother haunts her dreams, her decisions, and even her adulthood. That is, until she finally (finally) decides to let go. Let her mother be who she is, without trying to hide it from the rest of the world. And, by doing that, be who she is without her mother. It's breath-taking and honest. A path not many of us would want to take--breaking ties with a parent. And standing firm on it. But it's one Felicia took full heartedly.

Really, I just wanted to cheer as I neared the end of this book. And cry at the same time. Felicia was honest, open, and earth-shatteringly real throughout the book. She told the world about the worst moments of her life (and likely the most embarrassing). But yet when I read the book, I wasn't thinking it was embarrassing for Felicia, it was for her mother. She had a good thing going for her--a really good thing--and look at where "Lisa" is now?

I can't think of any better cause to go out and get this book other than to support a woman who has done it all by herself. She's come from out from under one of the biggest struggles of her life and made it out on top. Without the parental validation we all crave. And without a mother. So go buy her book.

Here's the official blurb:

Felicia Sullivan’s volatile, beautiful, deceitful, drug-addicted mother disappeared on the night Sullivan graduated from college, and has not been seen or heard from in the ten years since. Sullivan, who grew up on the tough streets of Brooklyn in the 1980s, now looks back on her childhood—lived among drug dealers, users, and substitute fathers. Sullivan became her mother’s keeper, taking her to the hospital when she overdosed, withstanding her narcissistic rages, succumbing to the abuse or indifference of so-called stepfathers, and always wondering why her mother would never reveal the truth about the father she’d never met.

Ashamed of her past, Sullivan invented a persona to show the world. Yet despite her Ivy League education and numerous accomplishments, she, like her mother, eventually succumbed to alcohol and drug abuse. She wrote The Sky Isn’t Visible from Here, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, when she realized it was time to kill her own creation.


And if that isn't enough, read the first chapter here (it is a PDF that will download).

Other places to visit online to learn about Felicia and this book are here:

- Felicia's Web Site and blog
- Guest blog post on Girl's Gone Child (this was so touching, it it TOTALLY worth the read)
- Interviews: Literary Rejections on Display, Interview in the Gothamist, Biography on Identity Theory, and Interview on Cruelest Month
- Buy the book at Amazon

This post brought to you by the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. THE place for books, reviews, and all things motherly.

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12:12 AM | | 1 comments

BLOG TOUR: The Daring Book for Girls by Andrea J Buchanan & Miriam Peskowitz

Thursday, November 15, 2007 by Bethany

Not too long ago I reviewed The Dangerous Book For Boys by Conn and Hal Iggulden (in fact if you are curious, that review is here). And this is its sister book, sorta. It's The Daring Book for Girls by Andrea J. Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz. And in fact, both of these women are behind my favorite place on the web MotherTalk. Not only have Andrea and Miriam allowed me through MotherTalk review many of the books you read about here, but well, then insisted that this book get created for girls. Mostly because of the out-pouring of comments on The Dangerous Book for Boys tour from women wanting the same sort of book for their daughters. And now being a mom to a girl too--well, I couldn't agree more!

In that first review, I told a long-winded memory about all the things I had learned from my Dad--a man who never had a son. He taught me so many things--how to tell the age of a tree. How to fish for Brooke Trout, Salmon, Pike, and Walleye. We also stared for hours at the various cloud formations, learned to tell the difference between types of trees by their leaves and bark. Followed animal droppings on trails in the forest on camping trips. Learned how to throw free throws, throw a baseball, plant and care for apple trees. And not to mention tricks about math. Which leads very nicely into The Daring Book for Girls. You see, leafing through this book, I became that 8 year old girl again. Remembering. Feeling. Creating. It was a fantastic trip down memory lane. I remembered things I thought I'd long forgotten.

There's palm reading (come on! who didn't want to know the future of your life?), Chinese jump rope (Mississippi anyone?), playing cards (I was a Hearts fan myself), Sleep out details, Ghost stories, Light as a Feather, Thick as a Board (did I get that right?), Campfire stuff (songs, building fires, hiking), God's Eyes, Canoeing trips, Tree climbing, roller skating, friendship bracelets. And boys. Who could forget boys! (well, that is not true, there are quite a few boys I could do with forgetting, but you get the idea. As much as they were a mystery then, they are now!). Oh, and I can't forget changing a flat tire and Math Tricks (thanks Dad! I learned both of those from you!). Or, my favorite chapter in the whole book: Books That Will Change Your Life.

The girl classics have some of my favorites of all time: A Wrinkle in Time, Anne of Green Gables, Charlotte's Web, Harriet the Spy, Little Women, Matilda and Ramona. Oh, how I loved escaping my world into those stories. But it gets better--the chapter goes further to indulge me into even more memories of books and places I'd imagined I'd be-- ESPECIALLY Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden.

I had almost every book in both series. My family were avid garage salers. Not only did we have 1 - 2 garage sales every year while growing up, we ventured out on weekends to find others. And this is where my love affair with books began--since I was able to purchase almost every book I got my hands on. They were 25 cents-- and well, my mom never said no to a good book. So I started collecting.

I remember my collections so well--I just wish, years later I hadn't sold them myself. The bottom 4 shelves of our rec room in my parents home were filled with Trixie and Nancy. And not only did I have them all, but in hardcover. Can you imagine? And I read them all. More than once. And most of the time, during my 4 week camping trips in the summer. I was the girl with my head in book on the beach. Or on the picnic bench. That is, when I wasn't riding my bike through the campground. Of fishing, swimming, or hiking.

This section of the book almost had me in tears. Each of these books--24 years later--still hold a very special place in my heart. So much so, I'm off to re-read them. To find the simple joys that brought me to them in the first place. In fact, it will be my personal gift for my daughter, her very first library (well once she hits about 8 years old). I can't wait for her to find herself in all of these books like I did (and don't you worry--my son who will be 5 in 2 weeks. I'm thinking there are a handful of books he might like too in a few years. What do you think?). And I want to share with both my children my love of books. What better way than to start with some classics.

Anyway, please check out this book. If not for a trip down memory lane, but to pick up some new tricks of the trade that don't rely on electronic gadgets and text messaging (yes, I am a self-confessed gadget geek, but we all need a little down time).

If my blabbering didn't entice you, maybe the official blurb will:
For every girl with an independent spirit, here is the guide to everything from school yard games to great women in history! The Daring Book for Girls is the essential manual for everything that girls need to know—and that doesn't mean sewing buttonholes! Whether readers consider themselves girly-girls, brainiacs, athletes, or a little bit of everything, this book is the girl's invitation to 21st century adventure.
Please--really--take a look at all these spots on the web. They are absolutely stunning. And fun. And so true to the Daring Girls' book, that you just can't miss them:

- Official Daring Book for Girls Website
- The official Daring Girls Blog where other fun tidbits are shared
- Daring Girl Extras! These include information about the badges (and downloadable forms), Passports to Adventures, information about the Daring Girl Anthem... just check it out!
- The Daring Girl Video
- The Today Show interview
- Andrea Buchanan's official web site
- Miriam Peskowitz's official web site
- Alexis Seabrook (the illustrator's) official web site

And, oh, I won't forget, the Amazon link to buy the book here. Please buy it. For Daring Girls Everywhere!

* This post is brought to you by MotherTalk. I get free books, write a review, and then receive a small gift certificate for the gesture.

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12:18 PM | | 0 comments

BLOG TOUR: THE OTHER MOTHER by Gwendolen Gross

Thursday, August 09, 2007 by Bethany

Speaking of children and parenthood and all things motherly (I *am* in that state of mind people. 8 months pregnant can do it to you)--it's blog tour time again thanks to the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. And today's pick, THE OTHER MOTHER by Gwendolen Gross hits a bunch of emotional buttons for me.

First, let me say, the book? Well it is fabulously written. Two women, different backgrounds, extremely different goals, neighbors, and both mothers. One quite experienced. The other new to the playground. And that is just the beginning. Gwendolen dives into the hearts and minds of the two women exposing fears, dreams, and a bit of this little thing we call "mommy wars." What are these wars you ask? It is basically the moms that work and the moms that don't. Are the sides at war? The media would like you to think so. And yep some women in ferocious circles that DO get caught up in it and judge each other's choices. But what I think is even worse is the fact that WE do it to ourselves.

Case in point, me with the Kiddo. I was raised by a mother who stayed at home and then became Miss Career Woman of the World. And what did she ingrain in my head? You will work. You will NOT depend on a man. You will be able to take care of yourself (and really, don't read into any of those statements too much. My dad? Fabulous man. Took care of her and our family. No matter what. And never, once, pressured my mom to take on a job. Ever. So call it insecurity on my mom's part. Or the fact that she was looking for her daughters. Either way, I was career. 120%). And so began my life in womanhood.

Of course marriage did follow after college, and a pretty successful career emerged. We bought homes. Brought pets into our household. Then of course Baby (the Kiddo). And that is when the inner turmoil began. And a bit of the external.

I was a lucky career parent. I was a consultant and was already working from home close to full time before the Kiddo arrived. And then when he did, I continued to do the same. But this is where the sticky came in. Judging. I was asked at playgroup if I was working. And then when I confirmed, nannies were recommended. Sideways glances exchanged about my likelihood of continuing work. And then of my reasons for working. I persevered.

In all honesty, it really wasn't because I loved my job. It was because I HAD to work to afford that neighborhood. Also because, well... if I was only raising my son, I think I really would have lost my sanity. And because, when I decided to go back to an office full time 2 years ago--because I desperately NEEDED the time to be who I was before I was a mother.

THE OTHER MOTHER exposes all of this. The needs and wants of being who we, as mothers, once were--women with dreams and goals. The differences between working and stay at home mothers, which if we are honest, are really just bouts of jealousy. One mother gets to get away for a while. The other gets to be with her children to never miss a milestone. And you know what? No matter what side of the fence you sit, you yearn for the other at one time or another. In my case--daily. And, folks, that is why this whole motherhood thing is hard.

I don't want to cheat you, here's the official blurb:

Amanda is a successful book editor at a prominent publishing house in New York City. Thea is a stay-at-home mother of three who has never really left the community in which she grew up. Amanda, eight-months' pregnant with her first child, and her husband, Aaron, move in next door to Thea and her family, and the two women are both drawn to and repelled by each other and their opposing choices in the constant struggle to balance career with family life.

When a disaster forces Amanda and her family to take refuge in Thea’s home, the underlying tensions simmering between them are forced to the surface. Even more when Thea fills in as Amanda’s temporary nanny...

But hey, don't let the description give too much away. The book really does dive into the heart of BOTH sides of the mommy consciousness. The conscience of working, or not. Of giving in to parenthood, and to struggling to resist it. And to just being happy with whomever we are as mothers.

The obligatory linkage:

- Gwendolen Gross' website
- Amazon link to purchase THE OTHER MOTHER
- Gwendolen's Bio

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12:15 AM | | 0 comments

Blog Tour: Sweet Ruin by Cathi Hanauer

Thursday, June 14, 2007 by Bethany

It's that time again (I know, I'm in reading heaven these days)! We have a MotherTalk sponsored blog tour for SWEET RUIN by Cathi Hanauer (which means I do get a free book and small little something for my time).

When first approached about this book, I jumped at the chance-- always a sucker for all mom-lit type books. But, I was even more so when I read the blurb. Not only is a story about a suburban mom, but it was a mom who works from home with a child, and has suffered a loss of a child. A deeper read than chic lit, and I was ready for it!

Here's the set up:
Elayna Leopold is a suburban mom in New Jersey. Her husband works long hours a lawyer. Pre-children the couple was all about fun, night life, and chasing dreams and careers. Now, she finds herself submersed in motherhood. Hazel her first daughter was born. Then 2 years after, her son was born. And died shortly after his birth. Now we are two years after that... and Elayna is just emerging from the throws of depression (I mean who wouldn't be?). She's beginning to see the light of day, enjoy her time with her daughter, and well, just enjoy life.

In walks Kevin--the artist who lives in the apartments across the way. And suddenly desires she thought long dead resurface, the person she once was starts to re-emerge, and well, the story unfolds.

Honestly, I couldn't put this book down when I started reading it. I was captivated with the detail and honesty of Elayna. I was enthralled immediately into the routine life Elayna lived (hell, I live it almost every day myself). And I was even more enchanted by the relationship Elayna had with her daughter Hazel. Though the daughter is only four, she's definitely a wise soul. And also a spirited and intelligent girl who--well, we can imagine--takes very much after her mother. It is no surprise that this relationship brought me into the story, hell, I'm a mother myself and can completely relate on almost every level!

But it was so much more than that. It was the detail about the relationship Elayna had with her husband, her day care provider, her sister that really nailed it for me. The very idea that a mother is really a woman. A woman that has needs, wants, desires--that don't always revolve around her children. And as a woman, it's a delicate balancing act. One that has ramifications.

The story is all real. All very true. And each and every character is deep, involved, and full of human faults. It was the honesty in which Elayna talked about her depression, about losing a child, and about falling in and out of love with her husband, and dealing with what life had given to her (and taken away). Pansy, the day care providers, often possessiveness of her children that stayed with her. The hurt she felt when Elayna wouldn't bring Hazel to class. Cynthia's (the sister), desire for love, happiness, and the perfect life. And Paul, Elyana's husband, own struggle with his depression, his career, and being the father and husband he imagined himself to be. Sure it was written from Elayna's point of view--but all of these characters were evident. As well as their thoughts and feelings--and in their actions (and reactions).

The story, deep in thoughts about one woman's struggles and growth, pulls you in. Before you know it, you are heading straight into a whirlwind--one that you can see coming straight for you--but you can't move out the way. And don't want to.

The writing is dead on. In my part of the world (which really means in my experiences), this book is very real. Heartbreaking. Truthful. And one a keeper on my bookshelf. As much as I could relate to Elayna, I found myself trying to decide if I, too, would make the same decisions she does. How I would deal with loss? How my family would deal with it? And how I would move on in my life. And really that is what the book is about-- life, loss, moving on.

Really. Check. It. Out. It is like Jennifer Weiner, but a bit more serious. But tackling some of the very same issues. This one's a keeper. And I'll read it again and again.

Buy the book here from Amazon.
Check out Cathi's website.
Read an interview with Cathi Hanauer.

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10:43 AM | | 0 comments

BLOG TOUR: LATE NIGHT TALKING by Leslie Schnur

Monday, May 21, 2007 by Bethany

It's blog tour time again here at mommy writer! :-) This time I am tickled pink to promote a fiction book too (thanks to the wonderful women over at MotherTalk who keep asking me to participate in these things)! Being a fiction writer myself, I'm keen on helping promote authors of the same flavor to the public. Hell, I started as an avid reader before I became the writer I am today!

Anyway, that aside, this week's blog tour is for LATE NIGHT TALKING by Leslie Schnur. And let me tell you, Leslie has a story to tell about her venture into authorship (did you know she worked her way up the editorial chain of command from copywriter to editorial director? Really.) It is an amazing tale of events that can be heard...err read from Leslie herself. Check it out here.

But the real goods of the goods is the book itself. And boy is it a fun! I've never worked in radio or broadcasting... but hell if I wouldn't consider the career now. Even if it was midnight shift and on AM radio like Jeannie Sterling, the main character of this fun, fast paced novel that had my nightstand prime spot for about two evenings (I read fast. I've told/warned you). But it isn't just my superficial fascination with all careers revolving around entertainment that kept my nose in this book. It is more the peek inside Jeannie's head. The emotions are real. The thoughts honest. And i just couldn't help but relate to Jeannie. It's like her conscious is another character in the book--which is just fabulous. Because God knows, that little voice that talks to me in my head could write its own book someday. I am sure of it.

Anyway, the book covers everything from family relationships, death of a parent, childhood, love, work/career, and pet peeves (and let me tell you, this is the funniest part of the book). As outlandish and Jeannie appears on the outside, she's human. And that makes the book a definite read.

Please check out Leslie's website. It is fabulously fun--not to mention a draw to buy Leslie's other book THE DOG WATCHER. Her voice is slobbered all over the web site (yes, that is a reference to her love of her dogs). And you can't help but keep rooting for her to become a success with her writing.

And of course, go buy LATE NIGHT TALKING. It will keep you up all night reading (for your convenience, Amazon link here).

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8:19 AM | | 0 comments

Fearless you say?*

Friday, April 27, 2007 by Bethany

I don't consider myself fearless. I haven't survived abuse or a dysfunctional family. Nor have I survived any up-close-and-personal wars, personal tragedies, natural disasters. In fact, when I look over my life, it has been pretty uneventful as far as large events are concerned.

I have been told my work habits are a bit on the risky end--in that I am willing to make a mistake and apologize later, speak up when maybe it isn't considered proper, and because of those calculated risks it has paid off in my career. But that is fearless? Never. It is just a job.

In the personal life it's been a stable easy-going kind of thing (well on most days). Sure we've bought and sold cars, homes, belongings, and even gone on vacation when the bank account was screaming from its almost empty state. I've braved birthing and parenting a child. And as scary and uncertain that is--unknowns and all--when I look back on it, is it really fearless? I mean women have done the birthing thing for years, right?

But there is a part of my life that still has me shaking in my boots. Again, it wouldn't seem a big deal or even fearless to anyone but me--but it is, something that make my stomach turn.

It is my fiction writing. The fiction writing that I am now sharing with others, including my agent, and some editors, and well people "in the industry" and well someday maybe even ready by you!

Is this a big deal to you? Hell no, but to me it's huge. Is it fearless? I most definitely think so. Let me explain.

It was a small dream I had way back when I drowned my summer in stacks of Nancy Drew hardcover books my mother had purchased from local garage sales. I loved those books. I read each one carefully and passionately. I buried my fears, low self-confidence, and imagination each and every summer night in another mystery only to be solved by Nancy a few nights later when I completed the book. And then I grew into the Babysitters club series. And then anything I could find in the school library or local (tiny) bookstore. I loved books. I still do (you should see my closet and under my bed).

But that book lover who was always reading was only part of the dream I told the world about.

I also loved writing. Essay tests made my school day. School papers made me grin. And well I had piles of notebooks hidden in desk drawers, cardboard boxes. In fact, if you searched my room before the college scouring, every nook and cranny in that room was filled with journals, poetry and love sick pop songs.

For some reason--even then--without a breath from another soul, I felt the need to hide what I really wanted to do. And that was (you guessed it) to write a book. A novel. About a girl. A lot like me. And a lot like every other girl I knew. I dreamed of telling her story.

The idea of writing a novel about made up people that interacted, changed their life, and then returned to the pages, well... scared me to death. Why? Well, I didn't want anyone to laugh at the audacity that a 13 year old girl would want to write a book. And I didn't want anyone to read between the lines and get any ideas. I mean, hell, this girl I'd write about, I am sure they would think she was me. Right? (When I was 13, she might have been a lot more like me than any characters I write today). And really, I was just scared to put myself out there. To take a chance that I might write something, that well, people laughed at.

I'd like to tell you that I outgrew that stupid fear early on. But, unfortunately I can't. It followed me through ever personal essay I turned in during high school. It wasn't all bad. There was the time I shared a book of poetry with a Senior in high school (I was a junior). started simply enough, she read one poem I turned in for class and liked it. But that was the only good part. The big clueless dork in my 13-year-old self took over. Her compliment had me convinced a full collection of poetry was in short order. A collection of my dreck made especially for her, you know, so she could read and laugh at in her spare time. So I spent 3 nights creating a book for her. One that had my entire poetry collection (roughly 35 pages). With custom drawings and binding, and well, a hard cover. Thinking back, I am sure my "gift" only made her think I fit in less than what I had the day before. Because after that day, the one I stalked her in the restroom to present the book, was the last time I could look her in the eye without flinching. Hell, I'd just shared my entire heart and soul with her on paper. In the Girls' bathroom in my high school!

College didn't help either. Those feelings of insecurity not only continued--they got worse. I had a creative writing professor bash my newspaper article about him (refusing to let it be published). I had writing instructors trash (and burn) my well thought out theme papers. And I even had one instructor tell me that I couldn't write worth a damn and I should reconsider my major (technical writing).

To which I didn't. Either out of pure stupidity or something along the lines of pure torture. I became a technical writer. One who would have to write--and likely write well--to earn a paycheck. And not only that, I'd be FORCED to share my writing with others (managers, co-workers, the world) in order to survive.

If I am honest, I'm still scared of the reaction to my writing--technical writing, personal writing, blog writing, Christmas cards-- doesn't matter, I'm shitting my pants that you'll think I am a complete idiot for putting a pen to paper. Really. And I've lived like this my entire life--even though I continue to torture myself and write. And now, share my deepest darkest secret. My fiction writing (my books) with someone besides the one that talks inside my head.

Somewhere deep in my unconscious-- the one that normally squashes the parts of the dream I have left--I decided enough was enough. Particularly after my son was born I took a stand, stood firm, and figured I had nothing to lose to finally jump out of the writerly type closet. Now I just write. Even for publication.

I thought it might finally cure my fear of the public reading my writing. I mean, if I published a novel, then someone would have to read it right? That same someone might even come to some sort of conclusion about me as a writer, and maybe even as a person. And you know what that means? I'd have stuck the middle finger to fear and won. Or at least one would think.

I can't say that what I have done so far--written a novel (or three), submitted to agents, started a blog, shared a short story with the world, found an agent, and submitted to editors for publication--has made me any less fearless than that 13-year-old-girl. In fact, it might be worse now. There is bigger prestige and image to lose. But I did figure something out--fear was eating me alive. All for a dream I'd harbored for years.

So, I still attempt locking the fear somewhere in a corner of my brain and write on. Ignore it's incessant knocking and chirping for attention. Does it work? God knows. But for now, I'm writing as fearless as I can in search of shedding that insecurity (or at least lessening it). And that is a promise For the greater good. For bad. For my sanity. For my son. Husband. Cats. I don't know. But it is one of the best decisions I made for my happiness.

At least now I'm not hiding notebooks under my bed and in the far corners of the attic anymore. Now it's just gigabytes of 1s and 0s in my computer.

* This post is brought to you by MotherTalks' Fearless Friday in correlation with the release of Arianna Huffington's book Becoming Fearless. Arianna's book discusses a bunch of things, not the least of which is today's topic--overcoming the anxieties and fears that can stand in the way of our (as in women's) happiness. So check out Arianna's book at Amazon here.

The kind and lovely Miriam Peskowitz invited me to join in this bloggy fun -- which was as much a surprise to me as it is to you--and I knew I had to participate. Particularly since it was so near and dear to my heart (and supports other writers). So this is my response. As late as it is this Friday.

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12:01 AM | | 0 comments