Weighty Topic
My husband is training for a marathon. I sit on the couch and try to simultaneously watch the kids, read, and possibly take in some television (like my weird obsession lately with America’s Top Model). Yes, I’m the lazy ass in the family. But who the hell is going to watch the 6-year and 20-month old? It’s not like I can have The Peanut run along beside me. Then again, at the pace I’d run a mile, she might have a leg up on me since she’s got more energy in an hour than I might have in an entire day.
But this brings up a good point. When I was all over the Weight Watcher thing (pre-kid), I’d lost over 60 lbs. I was eating healthy, exercising a bit and having a good ole time at looking good. Husband at the decent food, but didn’t start a running kick. In fact, I think he had a good time drinking a ton of beer and laughing at my beer-to-water ratio I deemed upon myself so I wouldn’t add too many calories to my daily intake.
Then--time passed, I dropped the diet, had a kid, found employment that was inevitably more stressful, moved a few times, had another kid… deaths in the family… and well, here we are. My husband the new healthy one and me not so much. I’m doing nothing but scolding myself for what I SHOULD be doing to get myself in a better state (about 50 lbs lighter). I think about exercise, about how I should be doing it, and I cook meals that are healthier--and eat them, but yet, here I am. Still sitting on the couch, taking the kids for a short walk here and there, but still feeling crummy.
I’ve taken baby steps at drinking more water and adding more exercise, but overall, the motivation isn’t there. And I am not sure what I can do to GET that motivation to just keep going.
Believe me when I tell you, once I got over the initial hump of eating healthy, it got easier. Much easier. And I felt great. In fact in a month, my clothes were feeling looser. I was able to drop a jean size or two in a matter of a few months. And those compliments thrown my way? Genius! So, I know what’s possible. I know what I can do and what’s possible. But…
Yes, but… I have nothing else to say. Am I not ready? Is it just that it is easier not to think about it?
If I really think about it, I am just exhausted. I am trying schedule everything, get the kids where they need to be every day, tracking homework, diaper needs, reading schedules, soccer games, snacks, dinners, housekeeping, work meetings, deadlines, bed times, bathing needs, and all things that all of us has to do. But to track calories? Points? Minutes I have worked out (miles run)? It’s just another damn thing to track and I am sick of it all. I’ve scheduled out. Completely. And dieting in any form (even if it just means eating healthier) means I have to track yet another thing to get my day moving correctly and I just don’t think I have it in me. At least today. So bear with me while I haul the extra 50lbs around for another few months. Maybe by then I’ll realize the lost weight just might give me the extra kick I need.
But this brings up a good point. When I was all over the Weight Watcher thing (pre-kid), I’d lost over 60 lbs. I was eating healthy, exercising a bit and having a good ole time at looking good. Husband at the decent food, but didn’t start a running kick. In fact, I think he had a good time drinking a ton of beer and laughing at my beer-to-water ratio I deemed upon myself so I wouldn’t add too many calories to my daily intake.
Then--time passed, I dropped the diet, had a kid, found employment that was inevitably more stressful, moved a few times, had another kid… deaths in the family… and well, here we are. My husband the new healthy one and me not so much. I’m doing nothing but scolding myself for what I SHOULD be doing to get myself in a better state (about 50 lbs lighter). I think about exercise, about how I should be doing it, and I cook meals that are healthier--and eat them, but yet, here I am. Still sitting on the couch, taking the kids for a short walk here and there, but still feeling crummy.
I’ve taken baby steps at drinking more water and adding more exercise, but overall, the motivation isn’t there. And I am not sure what I can do to GET that motivation to just keep going.
Believe me when I tell you, once I got over the initial hump of eating healthy, it got easier. Much easier. And I felt great. In fact in a month, my clothes were feeling looser. I was able to drop a jean size or two in a matter of a few months. And those compliments thrown my way? Genius! So, I know what’s possible. I know what I can do and what’s possible. But…
Yes, but… I have nothing else to say. Am I not ready? Is it just that it is easier not to think about it?
If I really think about it, I am just exhausted. I am trying schedule everything, get the kids where they need to be every day, tracking homework, diaper needs, reading schedules, soccer games, snacks, dinners, housekeeping, work meetings, deadlines, bed times, bathing needs, and all things that all of us has to do. But to track calories? Points? Minutes I have worked out (miles run)? It’s just another damn thing to track and I am sick of it all. I’ve scheduled out. Completely. And dieting in any form (even if it just means eating healthier) means I have to track yet another thing to get my day moving correctly and I just don’t think I have it in me. At least today. So bear with me while I haul the extra 50lbs around for another few months. Maybe by then I’ll realize the lost weight just might give me the extra kick I need.
