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101 Reasons (excuses) NOT to go to Work

Thursday, July 24, 2008 by Bethany

Believe it or not, the post that gets the most hits in this joint is this one--10 reasons not to go to work today. Funny huh? It is to me--as they were MY tongue in cheek reasons I didn't want to haul my ass into an office that particular day. Apparently there are quite a few others that need the info. So, take these below 1o1 reasons (excuses) as you may NOT to go to work.

I take no legal responsibility for what happens if you actually use them to not work. And if you think I am completely serious... well, let's just say, you'll be needing an employment recruiter real soon. These are supposed to be funny. Not real. Well, not all of them.
  1. I have a doctor's appointment (for more credibility, give up a specific doctor's credentials. The ophthalmologist, dentist...
  2. I need to color my hair
  3. Headache
  4. Just not up to the challenge
  5. I need my sleep (because I stayed up last night surfing the Internet/watching movies/having sex/baking cookies/all of the above).
  6. The kids are sick and can't go to the sitter's/day care.
  7. I'm sick (insert various symptoms here)
  8. I'm looking for another job OR I have a job interview
  9. My car broke down
  10. My house flooded
  11. The dog ate my homework... err, I mean project. Laptop cord?
  12. I just don't want to be there
  13. My laptop broke
  14. I lost my cell phone
  15. It's opening day of [insert movie name here]. A definite must see!
  16. Food poisoning
  17. Remote Access/Internet/Network is down--thus no connection to the office is available
  18. Lost my car keys
  19. Waiting for a delivery or installation. They could only give me the day as a "window."
  20. Meeting with my landlord
  21. The stress pushed me over the edge
  22. I have the stomach flu
  23. My husband broke his arm/hand/rib (true story)
  24. I have to mow the lawn before it becomes a forest back there!
  25. I have to go grocery shopping or do laundry
  26. My neighbor needs me help.... doing... something
  27. I'm writing
  28. My kid has a (pre) school program/play/thing I need to attend
  29. Hungover
  30. I'd rather be in a coffee shop
  31. Decided to leave the country (in a hurry)
  32. I've come down with a serious case of The Blahs
  33. I'm suddenly losing my hair
  34. I forgot to put out the garbage this morning for pick up, I'm heading to waste management now
  35. It's a girl thing (my time of the month). Need I say more?
  36. I missed my train/bus/ride
  37. I'm having marital issues
  38. I gave up smoking/drinking
  39. I fell down and can't get up
  40. I can't find a suitable thing to wear
  41. Blister on my foot is too painful to walk muck
  42. Have to have the emissions tested on my car and pay my license plate renewal
  43. I'm claustrophobic. The cubicles aren't quite helping my disease.
  44. I need to go help my mother (or father)
  45. Computer screen is affecting my vision
  46. The office politics are turning me against my co-workers
  47. I have enough office supplies for my home office now. There's no need to come in.
  48. My sitter is off to Mexico for the week.
  49. The office coffee has given me an ulcer
  50. If I hear another Corporate buzz word, it's possible I'll get "emotionally unstable."
  51. My cat died.
  52. My dog at an unidentified object.
  53. My child has eaten and unidentified object.
  54. It's my birthday.
  55. One time of year Macy's sale--the Biggest Event of the Year!
  56. I'm still recuperating from my weekend.
  57. I'm preparing for my trial.
  58. I ran out of concealer (or foundation or my favorite shade of lipstick)
  59. I lost a contact/broke my glasses
  60. I've got an unidentifiable rash on my back
  61. I must get a minor cosmetic procedure
  62. Oh you mean, we don't have summer hours?
  63. My in-laws will be arriving any minute
  64. Might have developed carpal tunnel, getting it checked out.
  65. Decided to give up caffeine. There is a bit of an after-affect while I detox.
  66. I have my first shot at 15 minutes of fame, I don't want to blow it.
  67. Sunburn.
  68. Toothache.
  69. I'm on a diet, so group lunches don't work for me.
  70. Daylight Savings Time messed me up.
  71. I just had a baby.
  72. I don't have anything to do.
  73. I'm moving.
  74. Sudden bout of amnesia.
  75. I'm giving up florescent lights.
  76. Family emergency.
  77. Tee time is at 1o (golf reference)
  78. Therapist doesn't recommend it.
  79. Ear/Sinus/Throat/Chest infection
  80. I need to paint the bedroom/bathroom/kitchen/living room (or all of the above)
  81. Sunlight makes me twitchy
  82. It's my own personal holiday
  83. Allergies are acting up.
  84. I have to renew my driver's license
  85. My boss is on vacation
  86. There is a blizzard outside--can't get out of the driveway (true story)
  87. Electricity is out
  88. Tornado Watch/Warning/Severe Thunderstorms (another true weather story)
  89. I don't have any clean laundry
  90. Sudden case of bad body odor (might have to do with the excuse above. Or a bathing issue)
  91. My car won't start.
  92. I got hit by a car (yes, it did happen to me. Only on my way to school once)
  93. My husband is making me stay home (oh, come on. Once. He made me stay. I was pathetically sick. But demented enough to still try to go in)
  94. I ran a marathon and am so sore I can barely walk (now this one, never happened. But maybe someday).
  95. I'm getting ready to leave on vacation
  96. It's Saturday
  97. I'm getting married (or I suppose divorced would be applicable as well)
  98. Have to bring a child (or children. or husband) to the doctor or emergency room (been here a few times too).
  99. I'm not in a cooperative mood
  100. I'm fighting with a co-worker
  101. The couch is more comfortable than my chair at work.

If you find you'd like to try some similar sort of list on your blog--feel free. Apparently people are in need of excuses. Also link back if you want, or leave a comment, I am totally into finding more reasons I can stay home too!

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