BLOG TOUR: THE OTHER MOTHER by Gwendolen Gross
Speaking of children and parenthood and all things motherly (I *am* in that state of mind people. 8 months pregnant can do it to you)--it's blog tour time again thanks to the lovely ladies at MotherTalk. And today's pick, THE OTHER MOTHER by Gwendolen Gross hits a bunch of emotional buttons for me.First, let me say, the book? Well it is fabulously written. Two women, different backgrounds, extremely different goals, neighbors, and both mothers. One quite experienced. The other new to the playground. And that is just the beginning. Gwendolen dives into the hearts and minds of the two women exposing fears, dreams, and a bit of this little thing we call "mommy wars." What are these wars you ask? It is basically the moms that work and the moms that don't. Are the sides at war? The media would like you to think so. And yep some women in ferocious circles that DO get caught up in it and judge each other's choices. But what I think is even worse is the fact that WE do it to ourselves.
Case in point, me with the Kiddo. I was raised by a mother who stayed at home and then became Miss Career Woman of the World. And what did she ingrain in my head? You will work. You will NOT depend on a man. You will be able to take care of yourself (and really, don't read into any of those statements too much. My dad? Fabulous man. Took care of her and our family. No matter what. And never, once, pressured my mom to take on a job. Ever. So call it insecurity on my mom's part. Or the fact that she was looking for her daughters. Either way, I was career. 120%). And so began my life in womanhood.
Of course marriage did follow after college, and a pretty successful career emerged. We bought homes. Brought pets into our household. Then of course Baby (the Kiddo). And that is when the inner turmoil began. And a bit of the external.
I was a lucky career parent. I was a consultant and was already working from home close to full time before the Kiddo arrived. And then when he did, I continued to do the same. But this is where the sticky came in. Judging. I was asked at playgroup if I was working. And then when I confirmed, nannies were recommended. Sideways glances exchanged about my likelihood of continuing work. And then of my reasons for working. I persevered.
In all honesty, it really wasn't because I loved my job. It was because I HAD to work to afford that neighborhood. Also because, well... if I was only raising my son, I think I really would have lost my sanity. And because, when I decided to go back to an office full time 2 years ago--because I desperately NEEDED the time to be who I was before I was a mother.
THE OTHER MOTHER exposes all of this. The needs and wants of being who we, as mothers, once were--women with dreams and goals. The differences between working and stay at home mothers, which if we are honest, are really just bouts of jealousy. One mother gets to get away for a while. The other gets to be with her children to never miss a milestone. And you know what? No matter what side of the fence you sit, you yearn for the other at one time or another. In my case--daily. And, folks, that is why this whole motherhood thing is hard.
I don't want to cheat you, here's the official blurb:
But hey, don't let the description give too much away. The book really does dive into the heart of BOTH sides of the mommy consciousness. The conscience of working, or not. Of giving in to parenthood, and to struggling to resist it. And to just being happy with whomever we are as mothers.Amanda is a successful book editor at a prominent publishing house in New York City. Thea is a stay-at-home mother of three who has never really left the community in which she grew up. Amanda, eight-months' pregnant with her first child, and her husband, Aaron, move in next door to Thea and her family, and the two women are both drawn to and repelled by each other and their opposing choices in the constant struggle to balance career with family life.
When a disaster forces Amanda and her family to take refuge in Thea’s home, the underlying tensions simmering between them are forced to the surface. Even more when Thea fills in as Amanda’s temporary nanny...
The obligatory linkage:
- Gwendolen Gross' website
- Amazon link to purchase THE OTHER MOTHER
- Gwendolen's Bio
Labels: blog tour, MotherTalk, reviews
