Who said funky moods don't last long?
Am I the only one that wakes up and night and wonders what the hell happened? When did I turn 31, have a mortgage, a child, married, and live in a house full of stuff that I own by my own? Not to mention cars, insurance payments, and all the responsibility that comes along with being an adult?
Seriously. I feel like I am twenty. Or maybe twenty-one because then I can drink legally with no over-the-shoulder-watching. But still-- when did THIS happen? Hospital stays and work crisis' aside, I feel like I've been steam rolled into this adult thing without my permission.
Where are the days when I could sleep the day away and be extraordinarily happy with a $5 meal at the local burger joint (not that I still don't love those. The size of my ass with attest to it)? I feel like suddenly I am ancient and my entire life has passed me off as a middle-aged witch that has to deal with recovering what is left of her youth at the doorstep.
Exhaustion is the cause. That I am aware. Once I am fully rested, full again with piss and vinegar, I'll be ready to take over the world and writing up a storm. But now? I am so ready to crawl into bed, become one in the fetal position, and let the world go by without me. So that I can catch up on the 100-odd hours of needed sleep I seemed to have missed in the last month or so--and catch up a bit on being myself. The non-house-selling/buying, writer, motherly type person that I have become overtaken by. And of course, dedicate some REAL time to my writing.
Sure, I write every day. Is it always in this blog? Nope. The next novel? Nope. Or the first novel? Again nope. I am not that disciplined yet--I have a day job and family for crying out loud. But hey, it's the way I work.
Just like this funky mood I'm in. I guess would could call it an ebb in the flow. Let's give it a little kick in the ass... I'm in need of a little flow.
Seriously. I feel like I am twenty. Or maybe twenty-one because then I can drink legally with no over-the-shoulder-watching. But still-- when did THIS happen? Hospital stays and work crisis' aside, I feel like I've been steam rolled into this adult thing without my permission.
Where are the days when I could sleep the day away and be extraordinarily happy with a $5 meal at the local burger joint (not that I still don't love those. The size of my ass with attest to it)? I feel like suddenly I am ancient and my entire life has passed me off as a middle-aged witch that has to deal with recovering what is left of her youth at the doorstep.
Exhaustion is the cause. That I am aware. Once I am fully rested, full again with piss and vinegar, I'll be ready to take over the world and writing up a storm. But now? I am so ready to crawl into bed, become one in the fetal position, and let the world go by without me. So that I can catch up on the 100-odd hours of needed sleep I seemed to have missed in the last month or so--and catch up a bit on being myself. The non-house-selling/buying, writer, motherly type person that I have become overtaken by. And of course, dedicate some REAL time to my writing.
Sure, I write every day. Is it always in this blog? Nope. The next novel? Nope. Or the first novel? Again nope. I am not that disciplined yet--I have a day job and family for crying out loud. But hey, it's the way I work.
Just like this funky mood I'm in. I guess would could call it an ebb in the flow. Let's give it a little kick in the ass... I'm in need of a little flow.
