Death and All Things Depressing
So the news is not good about my grandmother. Cancer, it seems, has consumed her lungs as well as the big fat tumor on the back of her skull. Don't mind my weird humor at a time like this--it is the way I deal with all things difficult. And Death is just that. Difficult.
I was very fortunate to have my grandparents around (all four of them) until my adulthood. My first grandparent died when I was in college. I was 19. Then I went for another seven years before I lost another one. And then a few years ago, I lost number three. So this one, my grandmother, will be hard in more ways than just LOSING her presence in all the every day things, cards and visits during holidays, in that knowing my son will no longer have any great grandparents on my side of the family. Though, thankfully he still has two left on the hubby's side. Two, very wonderful great grandparents that are like my own family.
So if there is any silver lining in any of this--it is that I still have great grandparents around AT ALL, I guess.
Anyway, my point--I'm getting back to it--is that I learned to use humor during difficult times from my mother. If someone was ill and we were at the hospital trying to console, my mother would walk in and make light of the situation.
"Hey, at least you get room service!" She'd grin and walk to the foot of the bed and look at the chart (she is a registered nurse and she really can't leave the chart alone in a hospital).
"Can we please get it LOUDER in here," she said one night after visiting hours when we were at my grandfather's bedside for the seventh night in a row holding a vigil, crying, and well, just being a family.
And then there were the jokes. From farts, burps, lawyerly, or just family stories that have been repeated every Thanksgiving from the beginning of time--she'd have them. And repeat them. And try to make some light in a tough and often depressing situation.
I'd like to think I would take after her when I am actually IN those situations, but, alas, I just burst into tears. If one person wipes an eyelash from their cheek, I'll start weeping. It is the whole look at someone crying, empathy thing. But what I DO do, once the shock and crying is over, are the jokes. Laughter. And sometimes a story that might make you giggle or smile.
So, please, don't look at me as insensitive. It is just some weird family gene that I happened to inherit, I just don't have as good timing as my mother, and it takes me a while to get past the whole emotional thing.
I was very fortunate to have my grandparents around (all four of them) until my adulthood. My first grandparent died when I was in college. I was 19. Then I went for another seven years before I lost another one. And then a few years ago, I lost number three. So this one, my grandmother, will be hard in more ways than just LOSING her presence in all the every day things, cards and visits during holidays, in that knowing my son will no longer have any great grandparents on my side of the family. Though, thankfully he still has two left on the hubby's side. Two, very wonderful great grandparents that are like my own family.
So if there is any silver lining in any of this--it is that I still have great grandparents around AT ALL, I guess.
Anyway, my point--I'm getting back to it--is that I learned to use humor during difficult times from my mother. If someone was ill and we were at the hospital trying to console, my mother would walk in and make light of the situation.
"Hey, at least you get room service!" She'd grin and walk to the foot of the bed and look at the chart (she is a registered nurse and she really can't leave the chart alone in a hospital).
"Can we please get it LOUDER in here," she said one night after visiting hours when we were at my grandfather's bedside for the seventh night in a row holding a vigil, crying, and well, just being a family.
And then there were the jokes. From farts, burps, lawyerly, or just family stories that have been repeated every Thanksgiving from the beginning of time--she'd have them. And repeat them. And try to make some light in a tough and often depressing situation.
I'd like to think I would take after her when I am actually IN those situations, but, alas, I just burst into tears. If one person wipes an eyelash from their cheek, I'll start weeping. It is the whole look at someone crying, empathy thing. But what I DO do, once the shock and crying is over, are the jokes. Laughter. And sometimes a story that might make you giggle or smile.
So, please, don't look at me as insensitive. It is just some weird family gene that I happened to inherit, I just don't have as good timing as my mother, and it takes me a while to get past the whole emotional thing.
