Confessions of a Working Mother
I'm coming clean today with a few things about being a working mom. Yep. I work out of the home 40 hours a week. In an office (more like cubicle). Away from my child. And--it works for me. In fact, it works perfectly for me.
Now don't start bashing me about how this is effecting my relationship with my child. Or how I won't be there for him when he needs me. How the first five years are the most critical in his development. I am well aware. AND I was a work-at-home mom for over two years. Really. Full-time consultant work with an infant, pre-toddler running the roost behind me, breastfeeding during conference calls, screaming child on my hip, as I pretend all is normal and carry on facilitating a meeting with clients. Did laundry between e-mails. Put the little tyke down for a nap while negotiating the scope of my most recent project. And handled laundry, paying the bills, and vacuuming all in a days work.
I did it. Did it all for over two years.
Why did I come back, when I seemingly had the best of both worlds? I mean, who passes up the chance to work at home WITH your children? I did.
Do you hear me? I am standing up now, on my proverbial soap box, screaming, I DID!
For those that have never done the work-at-home WITH children thing, it is EXHAUSTING. Totally, exhausting. If you think parenting is exhausting, combine that with deadlines, cold calls, constant firefighting, and early morning and late day calls at home, while you are calming a sick child, or one who just wants you to read a story, or to cuddle, or well... eat. I was called all hours of the day (and night). And since I worked from home--I was available whenever someone wanted. Regardless of time. Regardless of my current schedule.
Unfortunately, I have found, in today's society, if you are a work-at-home mom with children. This is the reality. You live, breathe, eat, sleep mommyhood and workerhood simultaneously. A lot to juggle for anyone. Including the proverbial (and I believe mythical) super moms.
It is not acceptable to turn off the phone or take an hour or two off during the day for playgroups or outside time. Working from home, is still considered a luxury--an exception to the rule. One you have to prove yourself to use. You can moan and yell at me for not standing my own--but let me tell you, this is a reality. Really. Try it. See how many phone calls you can miss without it being called out to you on a performance evaluation. Or how many I-Know-That-You-Are-Really-Watching-Oprah comments you get during the day. It is saddening, I know. And even more depressing that most mothers don't even get an option of working from home with the children. I was a lucky one.
I would also say, I would do it again--and hope too when I have my second child. But for now, I am glad to be rid of this juggling act. The stress. The anxiety of trying to keep a child quiet while mommy works. It is not fair for me or my child.
So, I got a new job. In an office. I work standard hours and go home at night to be a mom and wife. Yep. Absolutely am happy with my decision.
Do I miss my little guy during the day? Sure do. Do I miss those odd moments of excitement, or sunshine playing in his blonde hair while he plays with his trains in his room? You bet. But the ability to be Worker Bethany and only Worker Bethany during the day is glorious. Something I have missed.
And at night, I am mommy Bethany. And after that Wife Bethany. Not that the lines are that firmly drawn in the sand--say for instance *school* calls and my little one is sick. Or I work from home for the day because he is sick. Or at night, when I need to be both a mom and wife. But, people, look at it in the most simplistic sense--there is now division in my life. More of a balance.
I'm a working mom. I work outside the home-- and love it.
Now don't start bashing me about how this is effecting my relationship with my child. Or how I won't be there for him when he needs me. How the first five years are the most critical in his development. I am well aware. AND I was a work-at-home mom for over two years. Really. Full-time consultant work with an infant, pre-toddler running the roost behind me, breastfeeding during conference calls, screaming child on my hip, as I pretend all is normal and carry on facilitating a meeting with clients. Did laundry between e-mails. Put the little tyke down for a nap while negotiating the scope of my most recent project. And handled laundry, paying the bills, and vacuuming all in a days work.
I did it. Did it all for over two years.
Why did I come back, when I seemingly had the best of both worlds? I mean, who passes up the chance to work at home WITH your children? I did.
Do you hear me? I am standing up now, on my proverbial soap box, screaming, I DID!
For those that have never done the work-at-home WITH children thing, it is EXHAUSTING. Totally, exhausting. If you think parenting is exhausting, combine that with deadlines, cold calls, constant firefighting, and early morning and late day calls at home, while you are calming a sick child, or one who just wants you to read a story, or to cuddle, or well... eat. I was called all hours of the day (and night). And since I worked from home--I was available whenever someone wanted. Regardless of time. Regardless of my current schedule.
Unfortunately, I have found, in today's society, if you are a work-at-home mom with children. This is the reality. You live, breathe, eat, sleep mommyhood and workerhood simultaneously. A lot to juggle for anyone. Including the proverbial (and I believe mythical) super moms.
It is not acceptable to turn off the phone or take an hour or two off during the day for playgroups or outside time. Working from home, is still considered a luxury--an exception to the rule. One you have to prove yourself to use. You can moan and yell at me for not standing my own--but let me tell you, this is a reality. Really. Try it. See how many phone calls you can miss without it being called out to you on a performance evaluation. Or how many I-Know-That-You-Are-Really-Watching-Oprah comments you get during the day. It is saddening, I know. And even more depressing that most mothers don't even get an option of working from home with the children. I was a lucky one.
I would also say, I would do it again--and hope too when I have my second child. But for now, I am glad to be rid of this juggling act. The stress. The anxiety of trying to keep a child quiet while mommy works. It is not fair for me or my child.
So, I got a new job. In an office. I work standard hours and go home at night to be a mom and wife. Yep. Absolutely am happy with my decision.
Do I miss my little guy during the day? Sure do. Do I miss those odd moments of excitement, or sunshine playing in his blonde hair while he plays with his trains in his room? You bet. But the ability to be Worker Bethany and only Worker Bethany during the day is glorious. Something I have missed.
And at night, I am mommy Bethany. And after that Wife Bethany. Not that the lines are that firmly drawn in the sand--say for instance *school* calls and my little one is sick. Or I work from home for the day because he is sick. Or at night, when I need to be both a mom and wife. But, people, look at it in the most simplistic sense--there is now division in my life. More of a balance.
I'm a working mom. I work outside the home-- and love it.
