Sleepless in Chicago
When do they sleep? They as in two-year-olds- children in general. I mean he is almost two and a half, which means not quite three and he has never done the whole sleep through the night thing. No, really. Never. He topped out at about five hours, one night near his 8 week mark when we had company visiting and talking til the wee hours of the morning (so, I missed my one chance at 5 hours of continuous sleep since becoming a mother). But since then, forget about it. Max, 2 1/2 hours. I'm not making this up (you have no idea how I wish I were), and I have the bags under my eyes to prove it.
At first it drove me nuts- all the night wakings, nursing sessions a whole 40 minutes apart. He nursed for a good 40 minutes each time every two hours from the start of the nursing session. I thought I was going to die- or pass out from exhaustion. Somehow I managed. And kept managing when they only spanned to about three hours apart. And then, closer to four hours. Then the questions came.
"Is he sleeping through the night yet?" My mom would ask me daily if I let her (meaning, if I answered the phone for her early grandparent semi daily calls). Then friends started. And other not-so close relatives. And then back at with my mom again. And mom-in-law. They were obsessed! They must have better things to do in their lives than to ask me if he has slept through the night yet.
Then the guilt set in. Moms in the neighborhood offered every form of advice imaginable. Some blamed me for not letting him cry. Others just offered a word of encouragement. And then some even said that I was hurting him for not letting him sleep the night. Letting him? Um, PLEASE let him sleep the night was more like it! I did my best to try tactics of sleep training, but not felt right. I talked it over daily with my husband (can we try this? What do you think?). But, yet again, nothing stuck. Nothing worked. And nothing felt right.
He slept with us. He nursed at night. We did everything wrong. And were scolded by doctors, friends, neighbors, and family. It didn't hurt so much when they bemoaned our faults. And honestly, we'd gotten pretty good at ignoring them (most of the time). But then it started to weigh in on couple time. We became more persistent. At least getting him to go to bed, in his bed early on in the evening. And this became even easier when we got rid of the crib and put some twin mattresses on the floor.
But now? We're almost a year from that time- and still no hours of sleep? He can sleep alone. Does it 2 - 2 1/2 hours a day at nap time. And occasionally for 4 hours at the beginning of an evening. But when? When? WHEN?
I'm doing my best to let him figure it out. It will happen. I know it will. But there is always something in the way. It was the need for food. Then teething (yes, I believe teething causes pain). Then uncomfortableness in the small crib quarters. I think the dark came next. Oh, and he was really sick somewhere in the timeline as well (like high, high fevers at night, breathing issues). And now we are at scariness. Nighttime darkness and monsters have entered the picture.
Sigh. Will it ever end? Am I to be forever without a full 6 hours of sleep again? And don't even ask about when child number 2 will be along... as that will start the cycle again.
At first it drove me nuts- all the night wakings, nursing sessions a whole 40 minutes apart. He nursed for a good 40 minutes each time every two hours from the start of the nursing session. I thought I was going to die- or pass out from exhaustion. Somehow I managed. And kept managing when they only spanned to about three hours apart. And then, closer to four hours. Then the questions came.
"Is he sleeping through the night yet?" My mom would ask me daily if I let her (meaning, if I answered the phone for her early grandparent semi daily calls). Then friends started. And other not-so close relatives. And then back at with my mom again. And mom-in-law. They were obsessed! They must have better things to do in their lives than to ask me if he has slept through the night yet.
Then the guilt set in. Moms in the neighborhood offered every form of advice imaginable. Some blamed me for not letting him cry. Others just offered a word of encouragement. And then some even said that I was hurting him for not letting him sleep the night. Letting him? Um, PLEASE let him sleep the night was more like it! I did my best to try tactics of sleep training, but not felt right. I talked it over daily with my husband (can we try this? What do you think?). But, yet again, nothing stuck. Nothing worked. And nothing felt right.
He slept with us. He nursed at night. We did everything wrong. And were scolded by doctors, friends, neighbors, and family. It didn't hurt so much when they bemoaned our faults. And honestly, we'd gotten pretty good at ignoring them (most of the time). But then it started to weigh in on couple time. We became more persistent. At least getting him to go to bed, in his bed early on in the evening. And this became even easier when we got rid of the crib and put some twin mattresses on the floor.
But now? We're almost a year from that time- and still no hours of sleep? He can sleep alone. Does it 2 - 2 1/2 hours a day at nap time. And occasionally for 4 hours at the beginning of an evening. But when? When? WHEN?
I'm doing my best to let him figure it out. It will happen. I know it will. But there is always something in the way. It was the need for food. Then teething (yes, I believe teething causes pain). Then uncomfortableness in the small crib quarters. I think the dark came next. Oh, and he was really sick somewhere in the timeline as well (like high, high fevers at night, breathing issues). And now we are at scariness. Nighttime darkness and monsters have entered the picture.
Sigh. Will it ever end? Am I to be forever without a full 6 hours of sleep again? And don't even ask about when child number 2 will be along... as that will start the cycle again.
